The Kentucky Mountain Girl News

2012

2012-01-03T15:05:00.002-05:00

Wow – it’s2012. It is the year of our Lordtwo-thousand-and-twelve. When I wasgrowing up and even as a teenager, 2010 was science fiction; it never once occurredto me I would actually see anotherCentury much less live in said Century!

Accordingto a lot of people, this is the year the world is going to change and the Apocalypseis going to happen because the Mayan calendar said so. There are even people I know who jokinglytalk about this being the End of the World Year.

I havetwo questions for these folks, and for anyone else: 1) Have you really considered what “the end of the world” means? 2) What if it doesn’t end?

If thisis the year the world, as we know it, ends, then shouldn’t people actuallystart considering what happens after death and maybe start getting their livesin order just in case there is ahereafter and God? And, if this isn’t the year the world ends, shouldn’tthe future be viewed with more hope and a desire to make that hope into areality instead of destroying what is left of our planet and world?

Me,personally, I don’t know if the world is going to end or not. The Mayans predicted a change for this year. A lot of people are taking this change asbeing bad, but, What if it is good? Itis so easy to believe negative things than to actually look to the future withhope. I know – I fight with this almostevery day and make a conscious choice to be hopeful and positive (and even thenI fail sometimes). I don’t put on rosecolored glasses where I refuse to see reality and “how things really are”around me, but I hope for the best part of humanity playing out and I try, veryhard, not to just hope: I actually tryand put that hope into action somehow even if it is nothing more than prayingor knitting a scarf for a homeless man, or buying someone a cup of coffee wholooks cold.

Thepositive aspect of human kind rests with each individual human, and that includesme…and you. This year I want to make myefforts be stronger so the human in me is not wiped out or taken over by cynicism;instead, I want the human in me, the good in me, the God in me more visiblebecause I don’t think it always is.

Didn't Wait For N New Year's Resolution

2011-12-20T14:35:00.000-05:00

Today is a milestone: I have been counting calories and working on losing weight for 20 whole days!!! Why is this a milestone? Because usually something like this only lasts an average of 2 weeks, and now I am going forward with because there is a huge leap of positiveness in me, as well as a different type of desire to keep going. This time losing weight/counting calories is for myself and not for someone else, even though it may have begun that way.

This time I am using an online program to help me, which is also making a difference I believe. It is CalorieKing.com and I am paying $12 a month, which is a lot cheaper than Weight Watchers Online. This program also doesn't push you and the support groups and people I have found there have helped me considerably already.

On CalorieKing there is a section for keeping down the food you eat, exercise, liquids you drink, and daily nutrition guides as well as a place to help you go up in levels of the program without pushing you beyond what you can do at any given time. I like this more than anything, I think; plus, it takes into consideration your mobility level, which Weight Watchers Online didn't do. There is also an online diary you can keep there, which I am also doing, to keep down thoughts and observations about when I want to over-eat or when I start to nibble. Noticing what causes me to binge or not eat is beginning to make a big difference in how I handle some aspects of the stress in my life (and right now there is a lot and I will explain that later).

One of the biggest things about this program is how it encourages you to keep a handwritten journal/diary of what you eat. You don't have to have the calorie count of what you eat because the program helps find the food for you and then gives you the calories. So, as long as you keep down what you eat the pressure is off and you can go out and eat with friends, have a coffee, etc., and not worry about how many calories you are taking in then. It seems like it wouldn't make a big difference, but it does because you still enjoy the little treats you give yourself while learning how to make different choices in eating out and in snacking. I noticed this not too long ago then went in search on the site to see if other people had discovered the same thing and was pleased to find most of the people who are doing this program do pretty much the same.

If you can't tell, I am really excited about this. I can't visibly see any difference in how I look, but I see myself every day; however, I have noticed a difference in how my clothes fit and an increase in my energy level. This is actually one program I am more certain of keeping than any other thing I've tried so far. I don't feel judged if I make a slip and go over the calorie goal for a day and I don't feel horribly guilty, because the program lets me see in numbers what I did and it makes ME accountable. I am actually making progress, even in the wheelchair!

Flyswat Not Effective Against Bears

2011-11-16T17:46:00.001-05:00

Some things that made me smile today.

2011-10-13T18:10:00.002-04:00

Sometimes you just need the funny on a gloomy day to make everything better.

Spit nails?

2011-10-02T17:40:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you could chew iron and spit nails for no reason?

I'm having one of those days now. Trying to get out of this rut, but it isn't working too well at the moment.

Question #1375

2011-09-28T18:51:00.000-04:00

Today has been one of those days where I move slowly. I move slow because my body doesn't want to be part of me. I move slow because there is something in my head that just isn't quickly productive: it's productive, but doesn't move quickly from one task to the next. I move slow because sometimes when I look outside at the sunny-then-gloomy-then-sunny day and something gets zapped out of me. I can't say I have moved slow because of "lethargy", but it's as good a word as any for part of what has been going on with me today physically. Mentally, however, there has been quite a different story!

My head today has been coming up with story ideas, plot points, lists of things to done, lists of things already accomplished, and a ton of other things that has almost cluttered my brain. This has been going on all day today! Can an over-active brain make your body lethargic?

Notafraid2knit Updated

2011-09-20T16:12:00.002-04:00

http://notafraid2knit.blogspot.com/2011/09/returning-with-sweater.html

Thursday? The MIDDLE of Septermber?

2011-09-15T14:32:00.001-04:00

I haven’t blogged in a while. Not exactly sure why. There have been things for me to tell and stories to impart, but I just haven’t put myself in front of the screen to do much writing of any kind, other than the novel-writing kind. Two projects are going on simultaneously now. One is a SciFi novel/novella (still haven’t decided which it is yet), and the other is the paranormal romance.
There was a bit of a break on the PR because I was getting so frustrated. The due date was pushed back to November because of all the health issues going on with me, which has given me renewed hope of actually getting the best possible story told. So, why I getting so upset and frustrated? Because the characters weren’t acting right and giving me their story! They were being closed lipped and annoyingly quiet!

Yes, I know they are in my head, but they actually have a life of their own and when they decide the story isn’t going to be told for a while, well, it just doesn’t happen. Force them? I’ve tried. It doesn’t work. You try forcing a werewolf alpha female with mystical powers do something she doesn’t want to do. I dare you. It just doesn’t work, especially when the rest of the group back her up, including the conflicted wizard who may-or-may-not be one of the bad guys. Nope. They just don’t budge.
Luckily for me this has given me time to leave the werewolves alone to brood and plot, which they needed to do, so I could go onto another world and deal with an uprising with a shadowy assassin duo who are obviously in love and just fighting it as hard as they can. OK, they may not be in love in their minds, but they sure are in lust! This SciFi piece isn’t coming out any other way other than through handwriting. Now I am having to catch up on all the typing of the handwritten pages. I’m surprised at how many they are and a little nervous about looking to see what the word count for them is so far.

Along with the two novels(?) there is some poetry action happening. ….

So, I have done all of this writing, but no blogging. In not blogging I have discovered I need to blog. I need to share with someone what is happening in my head and on the page-paper-screen because most people around me, though used to me talking about imaginary people and events, still look at me oddly. My husband has even begun saying, “And your point is…?” It isn’t because he isn’t interested in what is happening in my many different worlds, but that he is tired of them, I think because I am really excited about these worlds and people. And, those of you who know me, you know when I get excited I GET EXCITED! There is no containing my enthusiasm and my love of what has gotten me all riled up. (He does the same thing when I talk about football *le sigh*.) Blogging actually lets me have a marriage and keep most of my friends simply because I can be so whatever-the-emotional excitement is to someone (I hope you are still reading). It helps get all the O MY GOSH GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TODAY! out of my system, or at least tone it down so the ones left around me can actually stand me. Except, of course, on those days when I have written so much my brain is coming out my ears by the end of the day and I’m drooling by supper.

New Web Fiction launching – History’s Keeper – Annie Evett (bluedingonet.wordpress.com)
Stone Cold Seduction Blog Tour Stop: Interview with Jess Macallan (abookwormshaven.com)
The next phase (smilekiddo.wordpress.com)
Writing is telling myself a story… (nlafave0.wordpress.com)

A Hard Mother's Day

2011-05-06T16:24:00.002-04:00

This one is bittersweet, but one of the better ones. Go clickie!

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/

Trying to Settle

2011-05-02T16:21:00.000-04:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2011/05/02/trying-to-settle/

Make with the clickie!

Pre-Pascha/Easter House

2011-04-23T16:41:00.002-04:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2011/04/23/pre-paschaeaster-house/

Hope everyone has a lovely Easter. This year the Eastern and Western rites share the same date!

Think?

2011-04-05T17:47:00.000-04:00

It has been a while since posting here, but not because of afterthought. I have just been running around without a head, or so have felt like it. Without further ado, I give you the post

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2011/04/05/think/

New book sheds light on Lincoln's racial views...oh really?

2011-03-06T19:00:00.002-05:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2011/03/06/new-book-sheds-light-on-lincolns-racial-views-oh-really/

Green Wishes

2011-01-27T18:04:00.002-05:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2011/01/27/green-wishes/

The Media, Am I Considered Part of It Because I Have A Blog?

2011-01-19T16:33:00.000-05:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/the-media-am-i-considered-part-of-it-because-i-have-a-blog/

We Need Another TV

2011-01-15T22:47:00.000-05:00

When your husband is playing a video game and you want to watch a football game there is only one solution...

Make with the click above to read the full article.

Turtle Qigong in Action...Almost

2011-01-04T23:23:00.002-05:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2011/01/05/turtle-qigong-in-action-almost/

2010 Has Come and Gone/2011 is Fresh and New and Sad

2011-01-04T23:08:00.000-05:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2011/01/03/2010-has-come-and-gone2011-is-fresh-and-new-and-sad/

Here and Now

2010-11-21T16:15:00.001-05:00

Falling down like dead leaves still green.

Wow!

2010-11-08T14:58:00.002-05:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/wow-2/

Fall Arrives to the Mountains and We Stand Proudly for Them

2010-10-20T15:43:00.002-04:00

http://www.kentucky.com/2010/10/20/1486933/epa-defends-decision-to-block.html

The Sky is Blue and Worlds Evolve in the Mind

2010-10-07T16:19:00.000-04:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/the-sky-is-blue-and-worlds-evolve-in-the-mind/

Looking Back

2010-10-05T10:49:00.002-04:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2010/10/05/looking-back/

Enjoy!

Too Cute

2010-09-27T17:49:00.000-04:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2010/09/27/too-cute/

You Wanna Know What Comes Between Me and My Calvins?

2010-09-24T15:18:00.000-04:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2010/09/24/you-wanna-know-what-comes-between-me-and-mycalvins/

Brooke Shields can still do it!

Just A Bite of Heaven

2010-09-21T18:01:00.002-04:00

The St. Andrew's Heritage Festival was this past weekend. I figured something out that was profound.

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2010/09/21/just-a-little-bite-of-heaven/

A Breath of Barnes and Noble Air....Ahhhhh!

2010-09-16T16:46:00.001-04:00

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2010/09/16/a-breath-of-fresh-barnes-noble-air-ahhhh/

Make with the clicky!

So Josh Gates Is Still Looking for Truth?

2010-09-14T17:38:00.000-04:00

Hello all. Things are really popping here at The News, but I'm afraid we're moving to a different home. For now I'll just have to provide links until I get all of the furniture moved so to speak. You can click on the title above or the link below. Hope you like the new place. The content is the same, or maybe even better. Enjoy!

http://kentuckymountaingirlnews.wordpress.com/2010/09/14/so-josh-gates-is-still-looking-for-truth/

Labor Day Weekend...Already

2010-09-04T17:28:00.000-04:00

It is hard to believe this is Labor Day Weekend. Traditionally this is the supposed end of Summer and the beginning of Fall in the U.S. of A. Schools are already in session. Colleges are in full swing around the nation. College town populations have practically tripled over-night, and life has become even more hectic in a span of just two weeks because of the words "school is in session." Labor Day Weekend is a way of taking a break, a breath to prepare for the Fall, for the business of school and harvest and a slowing down and getting ready for winter. It is supposed to be a time to thank the American working people for doing a good job in their chosen work field. Sadly, there really aren't that many workers out there at the moment to thank by and large.

I am not going to sit here in my wheelchair and place blame on why so many people are out of jobs here in America. It doesn't do any good. It didn't begin with this administration and it probably isn't going to end with it or the next (but I can at least hope). The rich really do get richer and the poorer, of which I am one (the latter, not the former), really do get poorer no matter how much there is scrimping and saving and planning and being careful. The ends just get further and further apart instead of meeting some months than others no matter what you do, and yes, this happens to be one of those months when the ends are about as far away from meeting as they can get.

But still, it is Labor Day Weekend. My husband doesn't have to go to work on Monday. He has a day off to rest and sleep in, and, hopefully, he can forget about the worries of bank accounts and bills and medicines that have yet to be purchased and doctors' bills that won't get paid this month but hopefully will get paid next month. Because I have wonderful friends I have several Barnes & Noble gift cards so I can run away to Barnes & Noble as long as I can pay the Wheels bus to get me there, and, with luck ,there might be some money left over from the bills that will at least let me get there one day a week, or maybe two if I'm extra careful. All the important bills have been paid with the husband's paycheck this time and my own and there is nothing left over, but this is still Labor Day and friends and us are getting together to relax and take a breath and prepare for cooler temperatures and harder winter months that lay ahead.

All of us have made it this far with our families in pretty good shape and our friends are as strong as they can possibly be and lucky to have the jobs they have. The sky is beautiful overhead with little puffy clouds like in a painting. God is still in Heaven and looking after us: if He wasn't we would all be in far worse condition than what we are now.

So those of you who have jobs, relax and thank God for your families and for the jobs you have and rest from your labors for this weekend. To those of you who currently do not have jobs I say hang in there, things will have to turn around eventually, God hasn't abandoned us; rest from the worries from the labor of looking for jobs for just a little while and take a breather so that on Tuesday you can begin with a fresh spirit to look again.

Happy Labor Day Weekend everyone.

Yahoo! News Story - Goats rescued after 2 days on 6-inch ledge in Mont - Yahoo! News

2010-09-03T14:57:00.001-04:00

Henrietta Handy (hahwriter@Yahoo.com) has sent you a news article.
(Email address has not been verified.)
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Personal message:

Goats rescued after 2 days on 6-inch ledge in Mont - Yahoo! News

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_odd_goat_rescue

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Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/

Yahoo! News Story - The Stig's ID is 'Top Gear' secret no more - Yahoo! News

2010-09-02T12:03:00.001-04:00

Henrietta Handy (hahwriter@Yahoo.com) has sent you a news article.
(Email address has not been verified.)
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Personal message:

The mystery is solved! And he isn't bad looking either! Way to go Stig!

The Stig's ID is 'Top Gear' secret no more - Yahoo! News

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100901/ap_on_en_tv/eu_britain_top_gear

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Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/

Sometimes Distance Doesn't Really Matter

2010-09-01T18:03:00.000-04:00

Friday there is a small job I must do that requires me to take some pictures. It is a simple job so I am not stressing out about it very much, which makes everything go much easier. I am hoping that Friday will be as beautiful as it is today. The sky is that brilliant blue Summer color that goes on forever without a single cloud. It always reminds me of hope itself. In the mountains of Appalachia these sorts of days were my favorites because the sky was perfect for the contrasting color of the green rolling hilltops that also seemed to go on forever and there I was nestled right smack dab in the middle safe from everything, or so I thought, when I was a child. When the wind blew the trees would bend and move like ripples of water and I was there, immovable, like a stone unless I swayed with them.

It was easy to believe the future was so bright nothing could stop me or anyone else from doing and becoming what we wanted. We had a sturdy base beneath us as rock solid as the mountains themselves: our families. Nothing would shake our faith, love, and trust in them. It was the Outside world that was different, but we understood they didn't know any better, poor things.

Now I don't have the protection of the mountains around me like I did back then, but I still have that blue sky and the love, faith, and trust of my family just as unshakable as it ever was in my heart and soul...maybe even more so. The mountains are still there, too, calling and speaking their wisdom I couldn't understand when I was a child. I am surprised I can hear them being so far away, but there they are, whispering in the old stories and songs and imparting knowledge even at this distance. Making me smile.

Sometimes Things Are Just A Little Out Of Focus

2010-08-30T16:31:00.001-04:00

Sometimes when you are looking at something too hard or for too long, the image will blur and will look just a little out of focus. Sometimes you may even catch a glimpse of something just out of the corner of your eye and not realize it was even there in the first place until that moment you see it that way. And, sometimes, you can't actually see something unless you don't look directly at it.

As I get deeper into the 103 form of tai chi I am learning to look at, and see, things differently. Now I am discovering, slowly, that I don't like some of the things I see both in myself and in others. My gut reaction to people is strong and I trust my gut reaction, and when I go against that gut feeling I have made pretty bad mistakes. It works the same way with decisions about myself as well - when I go against my gut instinct for decisions concerning myself I usually screw up and make the wrong decision. With tai chi, I am learning to trust the energy people put off and the energy's intent - which means I am trusting my gut more and more than I had before, and on a deeper level, as well as a wider expanse of area (although not as wide an area as I hope to be able to do one day). In myself I am learning to trust my own energy on a more in depth level physically as well as emotionally and mentally, which is very different for me. It is beginning to get easier for me to examine my stamina and go, "I am tired. Am I too tired to go a little further without causing damage or pain?" Usually I can go further, and when pain does come or if it comes I can stop now without some of the pride pushing me further until it hurts and cause damage; soreness doesn't keep me from doing the exercises the next day, only damage. Since I have minimized the damage drastically I can see a huge development in my strength and beginning to see a huge development in my stamina. All of this means progress.

There is also a calmness developing in learning the form, even though I am truly not very far along at all in Section One. I am not purposely going slowly - this is just the way things are working out. I am learning something new each week. For example, I am now up to the point to where I was when I was forced to stop going previously to the Saturday classes and have made it passed white crane spreads wings and the first set of brush knees with a modicum of confidence. (If the crane had been a real bird I could possibly have fried it by now it was so annoying!) Was it the annoyance that has helped develop the calmness or the movements themselves?

The main thing I have noticed really is how I am learning and how some of the other people are learning in class (and I can't attribute it to difference in age either). There are people taking tai chi with me who seem to be wanting to learn the form only on their terms. It is as if they do not have respect for the art, form, teacher, or even for learning in general. It is as if because it is merely tai chi, it can be learned in any way and the benefits will still be the same. One person will complain about not learning a new move, yet they do not know the form well enough to know where they are in the form to know what the name of the last move they were at to say "I am at the last brush knee in Section I and am ready for some new movements." Another proclaimed "I am not going to learn 103 any longer, I am going back to the 16 form" and yet that person doesn't know the 16 posture form either! And yet another person is convinced they know everything about how a movement is supposed to be and misses out on the subtleties and is in a hurry to get through the 103 posture form so they can get into the advanced classes not realizing that in order to get into the advanced classes you have to first know the 103 posture form quite well, because the advanced sections build upon the 10 principles and the 103 posture form! Each person is missing out on so much because they want to learn tai chi on their terms instead of just wanting to learn tai chi.

I look at myself and see how much I have learned and see how much there is yet to learn with tai chi and qigong and it's immense! Instead of looking at it and thinking, "I'm never going to learn it all" I find myself finding details that makes me go "Hm, I never thought of that before" which leads me to different questions than I had before and opens up even more knowledge. This is a wonderful experience, one that isn't over as you learn the movements - it is just a beginning, but some of the people don't seem to comprehend this. All tai chi is, to them, is just a set of movements. Perhaps this will change the further they go, but Remember what I said about trusting my gut? My gut says they aren't going to change. They aren't going to get it no matter how far they go because all tai chi is going to be to them is just a set of movements, and perhaps terms. I hope I am wrong.

Yahoo! News Story - China's nine-day traffic jam stretches 100km - Yahoo! News

2010-08-23T15:08:00.002-04:00

(hahwriter@Yahoo.com) has sent you a news article.
(Email address has not been verified.)
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China's nine-day traffic jam stretches 100km - Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100823/sc_afp/chinaroadtraffic

There is just something about a nine day traffic jam that makes me think seriously about Dr. Who episodes. Can anyone remember the name of the episode where people had been in the traffic jam for so long that their entire society had developed around it? This actually gave me the shivers!
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Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/

2010-08-19T17:38:00.002-04:00

Birthdays

2010-08-16T20:02:00.000-04:00

Hubby got me the book I wanted for my birthday! Now I feel a huge need to hurry up and finish reading the second book in the Kate Daniels series Magic Burns (Kate Daniels, Book 2) so I can start in on it! Not only did he get me the book I wanted, but he also got me the neatest book light for reading in bed and a book mark that is actually heavy enough to hold its place in a book!

As far as birthdays go, this one was about my favorite so far. We hung out at Barns & Nobles for a while, which is actually where we gathered together, then walked over to TGIFridays where we had lunch, then we went back to Barns & Nobles where we actually had coffee and dessert. From there we went to the movies and saw The Expendables!

The Expendables was an excellent movie and perfect for my birthday! It had all of the action heroes I could have asked to see in an action movie; explosions; heroism, muscles, knives/blades, guns, and simply a testosterone filled action-packed movie that made me clap my hands, laugh out loud, and cheer for the good guys unashamedly!

All in all, it was a fantastic birthday made absolutely perfect because all of my dearest friends and my dearest husband was there with me to help me celebrate it. I am truly a blessed woman.

Pieces and places fitting back together...?

2010-08-05T18:12:00.000-04:00

It has taken a while, everything is slowly beginning to get its natural order back. It feels wonderful. Surprisingly, for the first time in ages and ages, it doesn't feel weird or out of place that things are getting back to normal and life has its flow back. I don't feel like I don't deserve to have normalcy or that happiness is for other people. This time the hard fought battle through depression and pain has left me with a calmness that is a little out-of-the-ordinary for me, but, at the same time, it has given me a wonderful sense of another one down.

It's kind of like looking at the long miles ahead and knowing there is a place you are nearing and the end of the journey is at hand and you realize you can keep going and you are going to reach your destination. Now I realize it isn't all about how quickly it is going to take me to get where I am going, but just getting there. Speed bumps and road blocks and detours aside, I am quite tired of hurrying through everything. I'm going to take my time from here on out. The rest of what is left to me is just going to be for enjoying what has been given to me, and I think that is actually quite fair.

This last piece, this "not hurrying" piece, was the newest piece to actually fall into place this time. Not feeling like I am missing out on life and living was the biggest surprise I have actually come to have. Since the pain has eased up so much and I can breathe again in a much better sense of peace, my thoughts, I've noticed, have changed to enjoying what is around me and within me because the pain that has left me (thank You God) could rip the Soul out of the body if it had stayed much longer. It sounds melodramatic doesn't it. It sounds like a monster doesn't it. Sort of like I was living with a monster. Like I was living a melodramatic nightmare of pretend something...but it wasn't in the slightest.

I know monsters are real, and sometimes you can't get away from them like you hope you can, because they live inside you, with you; but they can be defeated, but not always by you. It takes miracles sometimes. When they are gone, though, that is when you understand what true freedom is all about. At the same time, everyone else around you keeps going on about their daily routines because they don't know, they have no reference point of where you have come from. Quite honestly, this is perfectly fine, because if they had such a reference point how sad would that be? ( If you genuinely care for someone, you would never wish that sort of pain and misery on them; even if you had an enemy I am not sure you would truly wish them such pain.) Then, as it dawns slowly that the pain is truly gone for a while (because you can never accept the pain is gone forever) and the pieces of your life fall back into place, just a little differently, new truths can be seen about yourself you didn't know before.

Like, for instance, I really like historical romance novels. I don't know if I never just admitted it to myself before out of pride or if I never really did just acknowledge it before. I wouldn't even mind trying to write one. Yes, dears, please don't fall off your chairs. When I realized it I just sat still and said, "How interesting." It really shouldn't have surprised me, since it was about me, but it did.

Another piece that has fallen into place has been knitting. I've picked up the needles again and have begun knitting a piece I am going to felt. A pillow for my neck. Yes, I could go and purchase some felt already, but it wouldn't be contoured exactly for my neck like I can make it with my own needles for my own neck. It is going to take quite a few hours and it is going to make my hands tired, but if it helps relieve the pressure in my neck, Why not? If it works for me, then I can write down the pattern and put it here or on the knitting blog and perhaps it can help someone else who may have the same or similar problems with their neck.

Two big pieces that came smashing into place has been tai chi and qigong. We already know how much I love qigong, but tai chi has surprised me. I made a decision with my tai chi: I am not giving up on my tai chi. I am going to continue to practice it from my chair and I am going to be the very best I can be at it from my chair. I will never ever be able to test like Hubby and all the rest. It used to make me sad, this truth, but it's OK now, because if I can show other people in wheelchairs and on crutches what I can do from my wheelchair and give them help, then it is worth all of the hard work I am putting into it, because as I am helping myself, perhaps I am also helping someone else. Don't get me wrong either: I am not a gallant soul, everything I am doing in tai chi is hard as heck for me to do because my body doesn't want to move the way the movements are meant to go; however, if I can get my body to go as close to the way as it is supposed to go, perhaps others will see how beneficial it is and how much it does help and join in its practice from chairs as well. Or from crutches.

For the first time in my life I am actually letting myself truly get excited about a martial art. Genuinely excited. And, for the first time in my life there are teachers who aren't just blowing smoke up my ass or telling me beautiful fairy tales, but genuinely pushing me as hard as they are pushing the other students to learn the form and helping me adjust a movement here or there to get the same benefit of tai chi chuan from my chair. It is remarkable how much I am learning, how my strength is growing, how my energy is growing, and how frustrated I am getting over certain moves that don't want to go into the right places and Hubby laughs and so do other students who are ahead of me because they had the same problems in the same places, except they had to worry about their feet, too! Egad!

God was holding all of the pieces of my life so patiently, waiting for me to be able to handle it again, and when I was, added depth and flavor the likes of which I could never have dreamed of before. This time, there is an even wider field of common ground for me and Hubby to share that is unbelievable because all of the pieces and their places came fitting back together just a little bit differently.

Can We Use the Term 'Fag Hag' These Days?

2010-07-24T14:00:00.002-04:00

As anyone who has ever read this blog in the past knows SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE is one of my most favorite shows on television, and only one of the few reality shows I actually watch. I don’t often blog about it because there are so many bloggers out there doing such a wonderful job of keeping everyone posted about what is happening that, well, I figured I didn’t need to lend my voice to the throng, and since each of us have our favorites, well…there just isn’t any reason for me to add to the hype. This past week, however, something happened that made me so very angry and upset that I have vented to my husband and to my friends enough they said, “Enough is enough! Rage to the blogosphere!” So I am.

What happened is this: One of the dancers, Billy Bell, tried to pull a fast one, and the judges, I figured it was mostly Nigel Lythgoe and Adam Shankman, we all know just how much Mia Michaels has her heart set on Billy winning this season, or perhaps Kent Boyd (anyone except Adechike Torbert); actually called him on it: Wednesday he said he had an injury to his knee – the doctors cleared Billy to dance, but he decided he wasn’t going to dance. Thursday he went automatically into the bottom three where two other dances joined him because of the votes from America.

When Billy stood by Jose Ruiz and Robert Roldan he stood there quite smugly. He wasn’t worried at all about going home whereas the other two were worried, frightened. To make it even and fair, the judges decided no one was going home this week but two dancers would go home next week. Those that were safe were stunned and frightened, those that were safe for one more week were also stunned and frightened – yes, they had a reprieve, but at the same time two people were now in danger of going home instead of two all because of Billy Bell.

Billy Bell didn’t care. You could see it on his face. Nigel said, “You have set a precedent on this show because you were cleared to dance and yet you didn’t….” That was the only time Billy stopped smiling because he realized he had been caught.

Billy’s ploy? Who knows at this point, maybe it was to rest up and be as fresh as he could be for the remainder of the competition. It is quite obvious when it comes to dancing with the female population he can’t do it: Billy is gay and uncomfortable around women. He doesn’t want to be masculine in any sense of the word and he is refusing to “butch” up to take on any of the masculine roles he is being asked to do. As long as he can hold on to the androgynous dance roles, the child dances roles, the roles where he can show his technical side and not his emotional side he is fine. He doesn’t want to show any of his emotions with a female. He has been called out on this repeatedly as well as not connecting with the audience. Billy is smug and completely centered on himself and his talent, not what he can share with the audience and with his partner (unless it is a male of course).

Every single male dancer there is SO much better in general than Billy at doing everything else – connecting with partners, connecting with the music, connecting with the audience, performing in general, even if they are not “technically perfect” that Billy really should have been gone several weeks ago. The only reason Billy Bell has remained has been tween girls and probably some tween gay boys who have voted to keep him there and Mia Michaels who simply is in love with him.

Adécheke has much heart as anyone else there in the competition and works so hard and yet Mia Michaels NEVER has anything constructive to say to him. Adam Shankman always gives constructive criticism as does Nigel. It’s as if Mia Michaels wishes they had never chosen the young man in the first place! Mary Murphy was always fair, even when she had bad things to say. She was fair. I don’t know why she isn’t on the show this season, but they need to bring her back for all future seasons. True, Mary had her picks, but she never had those that she absolutely hated on the show and wished had never been chosen. Adam is fair. Nigel is fair. Mia Michaels is not fair.

Billy Bell should have been automatically voted off of the show in my opinion, but Nigel had to be fair. We can only hope that he will be gone next week. The guy doesn’t deserve to be competing with the rest of those there that truly have heart nor does he deserve to go on in the tour. Actions such as his should never be rewarded – his nor Mia’s.

Is It Politically Correct to Censor Entertainment Now?

2010-07-22T17:50:00.000-04:00

There is an article that caught my eye on Yahoo Music today that had me rolling my eyes because a disco group from the 1970s seemed to knuckle under to censorship for a paycheck, or perhaps to a threat. Maybe to both?

The group, Boney M, didn’t play one of their biggest hits at the Palestinian Music Festival because the “Palestinians often question the Jewish historical connection to the Holy Land.” Because of this it was considered “inappropriate” according to the organizers.

This made me roll my eyes.

The State of Palestine didn’t exist until 1988, but the area itself has been The Holy Land as far back as history itself!

No matter how some people would like to re-write history to suit them, Judaism was before Christianity in the area, and Christianity was before Islam. It is a fact. You can’t re-write history to make it different.

Judaism comes from the Jews and the Hebrews and thus the nation of Israel, which means they have a very important place and part to play in The Holy Land and thus they have a very important “connection” to it!

In the song that was scrubbed, “the song's chorus quotes from the Book of Psalms, referring to the exiled Jewish people's yearning to return to the biblical land of Israel” and is titled Rivers of Babylon.

Maizie Williams, the lead singer for Boney M said at the conclusion the little article, "At the end of the day, politics is one thing and entertainment is another thing and when I got into the entertainment business I didn't get into it for politics. I got into it to make people happy,”…. And I agree with her – you get into the entertainment industry because you do want to entertain (and make money), but there must come a point to where you stand up for singing your music for yourself and your fans. This smacks of censorship to me. At the same time I wonder what would have happened if the group had sung the song. What repercussions would have happened then?
To read the entire article, click on the title above and it will take you directly there.

Reba Sue

2010-07-20T16:05:00.000-04:00

I feel as if I have been punt kicked out of the stadium and far up onto another mountain not of my choosing. The wind is out of me and the tears have flowed like twin creeks to matching rivers somewhere deep within my heart.

Someone very close to me has died unexpectedly.

She was my cousin and older than me by several years, a teenager while I was still a child, but she is one of those people, like her entire family, who matter. She matters to me, just as her sister and brother matter to me to the depths I often don’t, and sometimes can’t, express.

A day would hardly go by without us sharing an e-mail, and two or three weeks would not go by without us talking. She mattered to me because she was my cousin, my family, my blood, but more importantly she was my friend. She matters to me and because I know she isn’t going to be there to talk to and to laugh with and to share things with it hurts so very deeply.

My pain is nothing compared to her husband’s pain and her children’s, or her sister’s and brother’s. I have lost enough people to know I cannot make their pain less in any way, nor can I ease their burden of it; but I can hurt with them because Reba Sue is one of those people who matter to the people around her. That’s just the way God made her.

Unexpected News of a Sad Nature

2010-07-18T17:34:00.002-04:00

I just found out some horrible news. I poured out my heart into a beautiful post that will make it here to The News, but, for now, the news I just found out is too fresh and too painful. Although I am not ashamed of the little piece I have written, it is quite honest and very open; too real to go down here. Just for the moment. Perhaps I am just being overly sensitive. Heaven knows I have not been over-sensitive with death in my family before, but this one, this passing, is still making me weep.

Friends & Tai Chi

2010-07-13T17:12:00.000-04:00

It has practically all day today. A moment ago the sun peeked out and gave a beautiful beam that shown on the house next door that I could see from my window here in the office. It was spectacular, and it helped my spirits to raise some. What is it the song says about “rainy days and Mondays”?

A friend of mine has begun taking tai chi class with the Hubby and me on Sundays. (This Sunday I had a nice stomach bug so I wasn’t able to go this past Sunday, which really made me sad.) I have also begun showing him some qi gong breathing techniques as well as exercises.

This friend is one of those people who have a total Western mentality who genuine believe that very little can come from somewhere off of American soil. He refuses to watch martial arts movies because he says they “glorify” culture not American and that nothing like that can truly exist. However, he has taken wing chun in the past and truly loved it. He believes martial arts themselves are good for fighting, but that other than this there is little else they can be used for.

This friend says this, but has done each and every qi gong exercise faithfully I have said and it has helped him quite well. Now that he is doing tai chi he wishes to come by the house and practice because he doesn’t wish to forget what he has forgotten in his first class. This makes me quite happy, but, at the same time, I can’t help but wonder how long this is going to continue. It also makes me wonder if he is ever going to change his mind about tai chi and qi gong in general. He doesn’t believe the internal martial techniques can do anything, yet when *I* say they are beneficial he nods and seems to believe me. Is he doing this out of friendship only, or does he see something positive I’m telling him?

One thing I can actually say has changed has been my awareness: something fell in the house yesterday, a small something; I felt it fall before it hit me and was able to block it away! Tai chi and qi gong practice have mightily increased for me now because I know it works. Even Hubby, is quite proud of me.

Immovable Objects

2010-07-12T18:18:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had a moment where you have just had to step away from what you were doing and take a serious look at it and what you knew about what you were doing, re-analyze it before taking a very big deep breath and start again? I have had to do that a couple of times in the past couple of months just to keep my head semi-clear on what I am doing with life and qi gong and how it is affecting my life and actually keeping me going in more ways than one.

In some ways qi gong has begun to re-write the pattern of my life, of my world. Strangely it fits in very well with my belief and helps me to organize my thoughts easier about my belief. Of course, when everything begins to fit nicely, the *human* in me rebels and simply refuses to accept that some things can be just as *simple* or *easy* as this or that, and then a nice big hole opens up for depression to form and then I start wondering when everything is going to end and whether or not anything I am doing is worth it at all, even, at times, faith wise.

This past week I had a very hard and cruel wake-up gong. I brought it upon myself because I was being simultaneously “stiff necked” and “weak kneed” in how I was handling certain situations and relationships in my life. Very important relationships in my life. *Passive aggressive* doesn’t come anywhere CLOSE to what was (is) going on with me, especially this past week.

This past week has been one of those times where I have wanted everything and nothing all at the same time. The main thing I have wanted is peace. I have wanted moments where everyone and every life-force around me to get along and be non-confrontational with each other, and, of course, it hasn’t happened, because people can’t be that way for very long.

Because I am married, I am the person who should be making everything better in my relationship with my husband, or at least making a huge effort to make his life easier than it has been. I admit I haven’t been the greatest wife in that department in the years we’ve been together and especially not here of late. Add into this particular combination that I have to also take into action my own rehabilitation and keep my physical strength up through water exercise the husband has fallen through the crevasses. PLUS keep my mind and outlook positive so I can achieve all of this – when do I get to rest from all of the labor? Trust me, it truly is labor: Sometimes I feel as if I am giving birth to myself, and it is a very difficult birth!

SO…this week, or more particularly this weekend, I have had to step away from everything and take one of those good deep looks at me and decide how to keep going and just where to go from this point forward. Even though it is Monday and I don’t truly have the entirety of the direction figured out, my faith, my husband, and qi gong are firmly in place and, for the first time in my entire life there truly are immovable objects in my life and it feels remarkably wonderful to have them.

Expansion of Trust

2010-06-29T16:29:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed that when you take those first steps to trust someone just a little more than you have previously there are still those odd little woodpecker type butterflies in your stomach? OK, maybe not *everyone* gets them, but I do. It almost never fails they appear when trusting someone, even someone I have trusted for years, just a little more happens.

It is almost like walking down a familiar path you have known a long time and then discovering a deer path you didn’t see before and being brave and following that one day just to see where it leads you because you know the area around you so well you know you aren’t *really* going to get lost and you also believe that if you don’t show up in a few hours people who love you will come looking for you and will *find you*.

Maybe this is because I grew up in the mountains and you were taught to explore, but you didn’t go out further until you knew where you were like the back of your hand. You didn’t explore further until you knew how to get back to where you were, and if you got lost, well, you stopped and waited for the grown-ups to come and find you. This didn’t mean you weren’t scared or lost none-the-less, it just meant once you realized what had happened, you stopped and you waited.

No, I was never lost because I was too sick to explore, but I knew many who were lost and they waited just as they had been taught, and they were always found. The grown-ups always followed the paths they had taught the kids to take first, and then expanded their searches, and the kids were always found.

Things became more tricky when the kids got older and the explorations got wider, but by the time the kids were older, let’s say the kids were teenagers, their interests were in cars and other teenagers and by then they themselves were helping look for other kids or for tourists who had managed to get themselves lost in the woods, or National Guardsmen who had managed to separate themselves from their units, etc., etc…. I wonder if it still exists, this exploration and the trust kids of the mountains had/have in their parents and the other older members of their society.

Trusting is always dangerous, exciting, and scary. I have to remember to do it more often. I just have to let go of the vine in mid-swing and grab for the next vine and move forward. Swinging is fun, but if I don’t move forward I am never going to advance! *smile*

2010-06-12T18:41:00.000-04:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Sinkhole in Guatemala: Giant Could Get Even Bigger

2010-06-01T15:44:00.000-04:00

Sinkhole in Guatemala: Giant Could Get Even Bigger

This isn't a bad science fiction movie. It's real! Wow! It swallowed a 3 story building!

This is Just Cool

2010-05-21T18:27:00.001-04:00

Sometimes genius is quite simple. I cannot embed this particular video, so just make with the click and check it out. I hope you will be just as amazed as I was, and no, I didn’t find it on my own – the husband found it from a friend and e-mailed it to me. Enjoy! (Or just click on the title above and it will take you there without problems.)

http://www.wimp.com/solutionoil/

Let's Admit to Part of Bush's Legacy

2010-05-20T10:29:00.000-04:00

It is surprising to me how much flack the Obama administration is getting over the BP oil spill as if it is President Obama’s direct fault. Let’s face direct facts here people: President George W. Bush signed into presence the being that oil companies could drill off shore, deep off shore for oil. When he did this he was lauded as a great leader for helping America offset the oil shortage even though research had not been completed as to what would happen if there was a leak of any magnitude, although many environmentalists did warn that safety precautions did need to be taken and some more research did need to be taken just in case something like this were to happen. Out of pure greed and the out-going administration this was pushed through.

This tragedy is not something that is going to go away any time soon. It is going to directly affect us as a nation for many years to come, and, unfortunately, it is going to affect the world, I suspect, for many years to come on levels we are, as yet, unaware of at this moment. Why don’t we stop wailing and trying to point fingers at the current administration and actually try to stand behind it as we would any other because this president is actually trying to do something about it, not only for his children, but for ours. It isn’t just up to the government; it is also up to us to help. There are also ways WE can help by collecting hose and pet hair to help make the booms that are trying to suck up the oil mentioned in the news clip. You can check it out at this site here.

Blackberry Winter

2010-05-11T17:59:00.001-04:00

In the mountains of Southeastern Kentucky when the blackberry bushes are heavy with white blooms the wise older people noticed a “cold snap” would always come and thus it came to be known as blackberry winter because it was cold and usually quite dreary, just not cold enough for snow (usually). Here I am in the suburbs of Lexington, Kentucky, one of the fastest growing cities of the state and blackberry winter is in full swing. It has reminded me just how much things can remain the same even if we are not where we originally started from.

As my husband and I drove home this weekend from his parents’ home you could see blackberry bushes heavy with white blooms and mixed in among them along the side of the road was a bush called Seven Sisters that looks remarkably like blackberry blooms but get their name because they have seven blooms instead of just one, like the blackberry. I had forgotten about the Seven Sisters bushes until I was speaking with one of my sisters afterwards.

Like me, she has left the mountains. She has moved to Florida and rarely makes it back home, much like me. We don’t get to see each other often, but we do get to call each other and visit via phone and cell phone, and there is rarely a time that passes when we are not asking each other some question concerning mountain wisdom about planting or one of the many “winters” that dot the landscape before summer arrives properly.

There were four of us girls and one boy that grew up in that house on Stinnett. All of us have moved away except one. One of us girls has moved just up the road into her own home and has made a good life for herself there. It hasn’t been easy for any of us in our chosen lives, but when those of us need a boost to keep on going we always end up on going back home, on revisiting where we came from – knowing where you came from sets where you are going into a better perspective. You can’t see this when you’re young and 23 and know everything there is to know about life and living any way. (Once you’re past 23, you can finally understand what wisdom your parents and grandparents had and were trying to share with you.)

Sometimes you just need to know, and accept, that, after blackberry winter, summer comes into full bloom.

Learning to Fly

2010-05-06T16:13:00.000-04:00

There is a little brown sparrow that was laid and hatched in a tree in our back yard. Now it has left the nest and is learning to fly. Try as I might to capture his endeavors on film to share with the rest of the world, he keeps moving from one branch to the other, just a little further away than before. His parents are still feeding him a little, but he is of good size now and they will soon pull back their aid and let him fend for himself.

Today I watched him flutter his way to the ground and do some exploring of food sources on the ground and then he looked back up, I believe at the tree, and perhaps wondered how in the world he was going to get back up there! Finally he made it to our fence and then to the top of it, and from there to a low hanging branch of another tree, and his parents soon met him with a morsel of food to give him strength to keep on trying, learning, and growing.

I feel much like that little bird today - I am just now spreading my wings in a different arena and trying to learn to fly. It is frightening, but also thrilling.

The orchid on the front porch finally opened!

2010-05-05T16:53:00.000-04:00

Isn't this beautiful? The picture doesn't do it justice.

!AHA!

2010-05-04T19:41:00.000-04:00

The past 20+ hours or so have not exactly been pleasant ones for me: A migraine crept up on me and attacked about 8:45 p.m. last night and lasted all the way through to 3:15 p.m. today. Luckily for me, the hubby was here and was able to help me get to one of my migraine medications – it melts on the tongue and tastes almost like oranges – which effectively knocked me out, but not continuously. I woke up several times in severe pain either from my head or from one of my joints from having been completely still for a while. This morning there was an attempt to get some extra sleep, but the telephone kept ringing. A migraine and a ringing telephone do NOT mix.

As I got my pounding head out of the bed (by this time all I felt like was a pounding head) and stood up, my stomach felt as if it was going to empty itself of all of its contents even if there really wasn’t anything in there to empty. Nausea and a pounding head do not make you a happy person. THEN I had to call about a household bill. Right off the bat I told the call center rep a) I had a migraine and he may have to repeat himself; b) speak slowly; and c) let me know if he could hear me because I sounded very loud to myself. He was a trooper and we got the bill paid in no time. Despite feeling as if putting my head in lava might just be a good idea, there was a feeling of accomplish inside. I like feeling accomplished and successful, evidently even in misery. Go figure.

Any way – as the day progressed and the headache eventually got better and went away thoughts of how I was going to make a little extra money entered the consciousness. As it usually does in these sorts of moments, writing took center stage: I could WRITE and make a little extra money. I could SELL some STORIES and pad my pockets a little because writing you can pick up and put down at different times and you can…. Yeah, I attributed it to the migraine, too.

Once the migraine was gone, though, I sat quietly for a few moments and listened to a Kitaro CD and actually let myself think about this idea. Did I want to write? Yes. Did I want to write for a living? Maybe not for a living, but I still want my own stories and poems published. It is more important now for me to do so than ever before because I seriously do not know when that little bone spur is going to move and kill me.

(Yep, that little critter is one big motivator in my life for quite a few things now, and it is sad that it took something like this for me to put my life in order just in case a bad scenario happened. I could kick myself because I should have been living like this all along instead of just riding through life and putting things off, planning for tomorrow instead of today.)

So, exactly HOW IMPORTANT was writing to me (really, no bullshit this time)? It is important, like a lifetime goal that hasn’t been achieved, nor truly pursued in a very long time. Was it important enough to work on, seriously work on? Yes, but not to support myself. If I end up adding to the household income with writing then I will thank God for still letting me keep this wonderful gift, tithe, and keep on writing.

This caused me to take a deep breath and make a list of some of the basic things I needed to do in order to start writing again. At the top of the list was, of course, writing. I need to write and write a lot…and well, because no one wants a badly written story or poem. Next came the decision to actually put what little money I had where my love was and I purchased a monthly account of Writer's Market.com so I would actually know where I could send poems and stories out to once they were finished. Purchasing that monthly account made me so nervous I was half afraid the migraine would come back because knots formed for several long minutes between my shoulder blades and I had to do qi gong breathing to get everything relaxed again.

Getting the Writer’s Market monthly wasn’t anything new, mind you. I had kept it religiously way back when buffalo thundered across the mighty plains and dodo birds were aplenty. It hadn’t made me almost hyperventilate then. Why was it causing such a reaction in me like this now? I didn’t like the answer when it presented itself: Because then I was serious on a youthful level that everything would work out. Period. Now, I have to make it work out, there just isn’t any other answer.

This led me to think of what else had to work out and what needed to be done before I died so that when I faced God and looked back on my life I wouldn’t be quite so ashamed for wasting such a beautiful one. The list was surprisingly short, yet it too was accomplishable. None of what I see before me, and have set before me, is going to be easy to accomplish, but it can be done; I can even have great fun doing everything…. Migraines or not.

Actress Lynn Redgrave Dead at 67

2010-05-03T17:31:00.000-04:00

Please click on title above for full article.

This makes me sad.

Waiting to bloom

2010-04-29T17:07:00.000-04:00

These flowers are budding! I can't wait to see them this year!

Aunt Rose

2010-04-28T17:07:00.000-04:00

This has been the strangest of days so far. Got up to realize the cell phones were dead because the payment had not gone through because of the McAfee problem from a while ago. Luckily it was handled in relative time and speed; i.e. it was handled relatively quickly and semi-painlessly. Then, while I was just beginning breakfast I received a call from Sister1 who had bad news: One of my favorite aunts had passed away last night.

Back in the mountains family is the center of everything. You know your lineage and you keep in touch with as many people as possible if you move away. When I was young and oh so very sick, there were just some truly special people who made life feel more normal because they treated me as a normal child even though I realized I wasn’t just like everyone else – everyone else got to go to school and play games outside, run, and didn’t have to go to the hospital all the time with high fevers and didn’t have near death experiences.

My Aunt Rose was one of those people who made life “normal” or at least treated me normally. I wasn’t the family kid who was constantly sick; I was just me. Aunt Rose married my Uncle Ova and they were in existence long before I was born so I never knew anything different than Uncle Ova and Aunt Rose together. When he passed away it felt as if things had changed forever in the fabric of my reality because he was one of those people you always expected to live forever because he had that huge love of life very few people exude any more. Aunt Rose was a very special woman to keep up with him.

Of course, they had the perfect children to keep up with them. Two girls. One athletic and one just the sweetest, dearest person you could ever meet. Both of them were my best friends while growing up, and except for Boon-Boon and his family, my only friends. They helped me understand what being a “real girl” was like. Their acceptance of me actually gave me confidence to go through life because if they accepted me, other “real” people would as well.

When you lose your Mom, a part of you forever is lost and you feel it down to the very depths and core of your soul. My heart goes out to them. I want to be there for them. I need to be there for them.

Why wouldn’t I be there for them? Because my husband is very protective of me at the moment, and the migraines can come at the drop of a hat and I’m not supposed to get over exerted or exhausted to make sure they stay as far away as possible.

I love my Aunt Rose so much.

Alive and Thinking

2010-04-27T16:52:00.002-04:00

Sometimes it is very difficult to change gears in the middle of the race, or swap paddle strokes in the middle of the raging rapids – this is how I have been feeling since getting out of the hospital. I have been doing a lot of thinking, reassessing, and general deciding what this phase of my life was going to be like.

According to all of the tests results, there is a bone spur on a very sensitive spot of my spine. It is putting pressure on the spinal column and it is a good chance this pressure is what is causing the weird migraines.

Because of the medical problems I am not working, which has genuinely messed with how I am up throughout the days. So far I have not been up and doing very much because I have been battling migraines (one migraine lasted for six days last week and one was yesterday). The strength also has not returned to my left leg as it should, so I am working slowly on this, but probably not as die hard as I should.

With everything being in flux, the blogging, checking of e-mail, and so very much more has felt as if it has just fallen to the wayside. Or, it was, until this week when words began flowing in my head and thus onto paper. Through the writing and thinking that comes with it is usually how yours truly figures out what to do with a problem. Maybe I have finally caught up on enough rest so that my brain can now function on the problems at hand and the creativity that was backed up – nonexistent – has now released.

One thing that has helped me with this release has been qi gong. Yesterday I did some sitting meditation (working my way back up to the standing meditation), and felt as if everything was finally beginning to roll slowly back into place. Of course, the correct “place” has changed somewhat, but the places were familiar and seemed to just feel right.

There is part of me that suspects that this may be the final stage of life for me. It isn’t that I am going to die, although I could die at any moment according to the doctors’, but that this is the final stage I will live in my life and I need to make certain it is spent well and doing the things I love and need to do to fulfill my life. This is the stage of my life where I need to be happy and successful.

It sounds easy doesn’t it – live my life where I am happy, successful, and fulfilled. Do you have any idea how difficult this is? It is genuinely difficult to decide what to do with the rest of your life. Do I continue on with my job? Do I go back on disability and just make it work with the writing? Do I go back to school? Do I do anything at all? Well, of course I am going to do something; I am just deciding what needs to be done.

One thing is easy: I will give Hubby more serious time and my faith.

Following this I will also work on getting my body stronger, and will use qi gong and exercise to do this. I will get my house back into order. I will write and work on having the best life I can. And I will succeed. There are just things that need to be decided. Serious things.

Alive and Thinking

2010-04-27T16:52:00.001-04:00

Alive and Thinking

2010-04-27T16:52:00.000-04:00

A Wonderful Helper

2010-04-16T17:35:00.000-04:00

Cheyenne working on the game with Jake's help.

Out of the Hospital

2010-04-15T20:29:00.002-04:00

I'm out of the hospital! I got out Monday and am recuperating at home. It feels odd ot working, and in many ways quite good. I have needed a break for a long time. Yesterday I had a migraine, and today I've not felt as good as I have been. Still, I am home.

Saturday

2010-04-10T19:21:00.001-04:00

Still in the hospital. Don't have to have surgery, though, which I am very thankful for. Walked some today. Maybe tomorrow I will be able to go home.

A Very Quick Quickie

2010-04-09T12:59:00.001-04:00

In the hospital. More doctors coming, including a surgeon. Feeling OK-ish.

Drats!

2010-03-30T22:20:00.002-04:00

I have been trying to upload a photo from my phone for a while now. Unfortunately I am going to have to give up on it - another day another attempt.

2010-03-23T14:32:00.002-04:00

Today I am sick. I have been sick for a couple of days now, and it has been bad enough for me to take off work. Some would say that if I am sick enough to take off work that I should also be sick enough to do nothing at all. I beg to differ: You see there is sick enough to do absolutely nothing, which was yesterday. I slept to the TV yesterday all day long until Hubby came home early because…well, he wasn’t feeling very well either. Today I slept late and have been able to handle a few home-related business things like bills, etc, but as far as dealing with customers and being nice…not such a good idea. My brain cannot think quickly. Still, today is better than yesterday despite the weakness and dizziness and general feeling so bad it takes concentration to hold my head up at times, and relax my shoulders. So, I am better, but not well by a long shot. Tomorrow I will work and do my job and get paid for it. Today I will think, even if it is somewhat slow and apathetic at times.

What am I thinking about? Well, qi gong.

Saturday I went to tai chi for the first time in many, many months. I had to go into the beginners’ class again, but that wasn’t bad because I discovered I remembered more than I thought I did. As usual, we went to breakfast, which I was super ready for, and as we were breaking for the day, I asked Just Bill a simple question that may have just changed everything for me deep down inside. Here is how it went:

Me: Bill, is there a turtle qi gong?
Just Bill: I’m not sure, but not that I know of.
Me: Could one be made?
Just Bill: Of course it could.
Me: Could I do it?
Just Bill: Of course you could!

Before going any further I asked him if he would help me, and he agreed. From that point forward he told me certain key things I needed to keep in mind while coming up with the qi gong form and he said to make certain and write it down. “Write it down and keep an order,” he said.

Instead of jumping straight into the “writing it down” part I have found myself putting a great deal of thought into what needs to be present and in which order; how does the mind relate with the spirit and the breathing, and what should it accomplish.

I am quite serious about creating the turtle qi gong.

Doing this is going to take time and a lot of thought and qi gong practice. There is a great deal to keep in mind while working on the form, and, at the same time, it doesn’t feel overwhelming in the least; it is perfectly in order with me.

Although, I have actually considered getting a turtle, which the husband has not said no to as a matter of fact, because our very large aquarium is sitting very vacant and devoid of fish. The reason I am being hesitant about purchasing said turtle is because a) I don’t want to imprison a creature unnecessarily; and b) would having a turtle around actually help me with the form at this point?

In firmly deciding to do this something inside me has changed. A threshold has been crossed, and I am not exactly sure what type it was or what even to call it, but it has been crossed and it was a significant step (for me).

There is part of me that would like to say I have crossed into the “martial arts” world, but that isn’t exactly true. I cannot stand (or sit) here and proclaim that to the world and especially to myself. I can say that this feels right. This feels as if I am on the right path with my health and mind and body and that finally I have a chance to make a difference in someone’s life other than my own if I do this well. I may never live to see its benefits for others, but with hope, prayer, and a lot of hard work, others will also get benefits from what I do with this. Plus, I am also not dumb enough to say this qi gong form will be created in a day, week, month, or even year. It is going to take a while and I am going to have to practice qi gong steadily and tai chi. I am going to have to practice standing meditation and I am going to have to be diligent about so many other things to keep this moving forward properly.

Surprisingly, I am looking forward to it all. Finally, all of the pain I endure has a purpose and is not just a useless thing bent on destroying me and others.

Peter Graves of "Mission Impossible" No Longer with Us

2010-03-15T08:48:00.002-04:00

Death comes to us all, but it is always surprising when some people pass away because you always expect them (unrealistically) to be around. It was a big surprise for me to get up today and learn that Peter Graves had passed away Sunday, 03/14/2010. Jim Phelps was always supposed to be around to save the day when no one else could, or would.

I watched the Mission Impossible series when I was a little girl, and then in re-runs in the 1970s as a teenager because it was one of the coolest shows out there, next to Star Trek of course. It was because of Mission Impossible that I got my first taste for the thriller genre and not only loved to read it, but loved to write it as well.

One of the more interesting things I discovered in reading his bio this morning was the fact that he was Marshal Matt Dillon's younger brother! That's right, James Arness was his older brother. He changed his name so he wouldn't be confused with his older brother by taking his grandfather's last name. In this picture here you can actually see a family resemblance to Matt Dillon/James Arness, but I never saw it before until I read the article and actually did a good examination of the picture.

Does anyone know if James Arness is still living? Everything I've researched on the 'Net so far says he is, and if this is so, that would make him 86 years old. Rock on Marshall Dillon.

For the complete bio of Peter Graves, click the article title above.

Not the Day Expected

2010-03-14T21:13:00.000-04:00

There were quite a few plans made for today. I had scheduled a WHEELS bus to take me to Church and then take me on to Barns & Noble where I would enjoy several wonderful hours of not doing all that much except only the things I wanted such as roam the stacks, purchase a lap desk, and blog and write to my heart's content with a cafe mocha at my side and a sugar cookie chaser.

It didn't happen.

Why didn't it happen?

My back went out. Just like that. Well, not exactly “just like that” because I lay down last night to go to sleep and shifted to get comfortable and all of a sudden there was searing pain down my back to my tail bone and all the goodness of the day just vanished as if it had never been. It was sad, really, and depressing.

This happening caused the husband to go to Church alone. He then proceeded to cancel his plans he had made for the rest of the day to come home and take care of me. Can you spell guilt? Yeah, I have felt really guilty today because of my back.

Currently it is better thanks to meds and qi gong. I did several exercises I had learned in class, including the first part of the standing section I had attempted to do. There was pain, but in gathering the qi there was some additional strength and protection that wasn't there before.

As I collected the energy I imagined that the energy, the qi (pronounced “chi”) was going to the injured, painful portion of m spine and was surrounding it like a golden bandage of strength that was reinforcing and protective. With this in place, I was able to make it from the bedroom to my wheelchair and then, once I was on my feet to do the standing portion, I again reinforced this image with more qi collection and even though the pain was there and intense, I was able to stand for almost five minutes and do what needed to be done. My back popped quite loudly at one point and has felt better. Hopefully this will continue. The feeling better part.

The remainder of the day today has been spent playing video game demos and just relaxing. The husband is currently playing Halo ODS and is enjoying himself immensely.

This week is going to be filled with a couple of doctor's appointments and, with any luck, a trip at last to B&N where there will be some relaxation and writing happening. In fact, I am considering adding a couple of B&N days to the schedule just because I have tried so diligently to get to B&N and wasn't able to get there. Since the time has changed, I will use it to get to where I need to go and when I need to get there. Plus, any where is a better writing place than my house at the moment. I need a change of scenery like you cannot believe or perceive.

In Love With Qi Gong

2010-03-13T17:46:00.003-05:00

Qi Gong literally means “energy work” and I have never found something that satisfies something so deep in my life. It follows perfectly with my faith as an Orthodox Christian because both of them are lifelong entities you learn.

Recently I learned that this coming Thursday was the last qi gong class that would be taught and I find myself almost in tears each and every time I think about it, because this truly is something that matters to me.

I have studied different internal qi gong methods on my own, independently, but the pieces never completely fell into place until the previous class and then this intermediate class. Finally there was a real live person I could ask questions of and get answers from. As I began practicing anew, I have found myself feeling physically better, as well as emotionally and psychologically more relaxed in tense situations.

Because of qi gong I have come to the acceptance that what I am currently doing for a living is actually hurting me in more ways than I can explain, even though it is a job I can do. There have been some days, especially here recently when the qi gong exercises I have learned have kept me calm until the end of my shift when I can then do more in depth exercises that actually help me to release the day, which then leads into prayer and more settling.

My husband is in love with tai chi chuan, as you all know, and it is fantastic, but it didn’t suit me. Qi gong does. It isn’t that qi gong is not a “martial” art – something that can be used to defend yourself with if need be (this is a very loose interpretation and explanation) – because, as I have noticed, thanks to a statement Bill made at dinner after qi gong, that any particular movement learned can be a martial movement. I am not a pacifist in any shape or form, but have always been made to feel that any true martial art is beyond me except for maybe tai chi chuan. It also isn’t that qi gong is so out there it cannot be grasped by everyone, or anyone. The main reason it suits me, I realize, is that it is completely internal.

By this, I mean: it is me that is affecting me by reaching out into the Universe, to God if you will, to help myself. No one can take this away from me or alter what I know about it or how it makes me feel. It is as private as my faith. It is almost as important as my faith is to me. It is inside me and, most importantly, I am seeing and feeling results. Serious results.

I bet you’re wondering what type of results, right? Well, here is just a very short list I will share with you:
 My appetite and food desires have drastically changed. I love food. I mean I love food. Food is my drug of choice if I must be completely honest with myself. Nothing makes me happier than to cook, eat, and enjoy good food with good friends. I don’t want the same foods as I did. I have actually begun to listen to my body and realize that I need certain things, such as nuts. I have also begun an orange kick. Even though the oranges can hurt my gall bladder, if I eat these things in moderation I feel better deep down. Even going out to eat my taste has changed – soups are at the top of the list for me of late. And, when I have ignored my body and just picked something from the menu just to eat because I am hungry, it hasn’t worked out very well for me digestive wise, or feeling wise. I know when I am eating something I really shouldn’t, and I accept I must pay for it.
 I am very aware of how physically strong or weak I am and what needs to be improved. I know this doesn’t sound like very much, but, trust me, it’s huge! Up until now I have known I needed to be stronger here or there in my body, but only on a surface level. Now I understand just how important it is as a whole, and exactly which body parts need to be worked on. Another thing that is different is the fact that instead of just putting it all off, I actually work on it and put a good effort into improving and not just ‘trying’ to improve.
 I feel more connected to myself, and thus to the people around me, and thus to God. I hear my body and what it needs. I also hear what others are saying and needing from me or for themselves. I also hear, through reading the Bible and attending Church, what God needs of me and what I need from God.
Qi gong hasn’t answered all of my problems, and in some ways it has just presented me with more questions while presenting me with a more clearly marked path or direction I need to go for the different answers.

Don’t misunderstand either, qi gong isn’t something that teaches you to be completely calm, but it does give you a major avenue in calming down once you are upset or relieving the stress you find in yourself. It doesn’t make you a guru of peace and love, but it does give you a tool to use in obtaining a better understanding of what your need for you to be healthier, happier, and more balanced in so many different areas of yourself. But, this is what I get out of qi gong. Someone else may get something completely different from it. You’ll never know until you try qi gong. It doesn’t matter how good your body is, or how strong or weak it is – qi gong will give you a tool to improve your life.

And Bill, you realize I’m going to be hounding you with questions now about when and where the next class is going to be. You continue to teach me my dear friend, and I will learn…even though it may take me a bit to wrap my head around some concepts.
In Love with Qi Gong

Qi Gong literally means “energy work” and I have never found something that satisfies something so deep in my life. It follows perfectly with my faith as an Orthodox Christian because both of them are lifelong entities you learn.

Recently I learned that this coming Thursday was the last qi gong class that would be taught and I find myself almost in tears each and every time I think about it, because this truly is something that matters to me.

I have studied different internal qi gong methods on my own, independently, but the pieces never completely fell into place until the previous class and then this intermediate class. Finally there was a real live person I could ask questions of and get answers from. As I began practicing anew, I have found myself feeling physically better, as well as emotionally and psychologically more relaxed in tense situations.

Because of qi gong I have come to the acceptance that what I am currently doing for a living is actually hurting me in more ways than I can explain, even though it is a job I can do. There have been some days, especially here recently when the qi gong exercises I have learned have kept me calm until the end of my shift when I can then do more in depth exercises that actually help me to release the day, which then leads into prayer and more settling.

My husband is in love with tai chi chuan, as you all know, and it is fantastic, but it didn’t suit me. Qi gong does. It isn’t that qi gong is not a “martial” art – something that can be used to defend yourself with if need be (this is a very loose interpretation and explanation) – because, as I have noticed, thanks to a statement Bill made at dinner after qi gong, that any particular movement learned can be a martial movement. I am not a pacifist in any shape or form, but have always been made to feel that any true martial art is beyond me except for maybe tai chi chuan. It also isn’t that qi gong is so out there it cannot be grasped by everyone, or anyone. The main reason it suits me, I realize, is that it is completely internal.

By this, I mean: it is me that is affecting me by reaching out into the Universe, to God if you will, to help myself. No one can take this away from me or alter what I know about it or how it makes me feel. It is as private as my faith. It is almost as important as my faith is to me. It is inside me and, most importantly, I am seeing and feeling results. Serious results.

I bet you’re wondering what type of results, right? Well, here is just a very short list I will share with you:
 My appetite and food desires have drastically changed. I love food. I mean I love food. Food is my drug of choice if I must be completely honest with myself. Nothing makes me happier than to cook, eat, and enjoy good food with good friends. I don’t want the same foods as I did. I have actually begun to listen to my body and realize that I need certain things, such as nuts. I have also begun an orange kick. Even though the oranges can hurt my gall bladder, if I eat these things in moderation I feel better deep down. Even going out to eat my taste has changed – soups are at the top of the list for me of late. And, when I have ignored my body and just picked something from the menu just to eat because I am hungry, it hasn’t worked out very well for me digestive wise, or feeling wise. I know when I am eating something I really shouldn’t, and I accept I must pay for it.
 I am very aware of how physically strong or weak I am and what needs to be improved. I know this doesn’t sound like very much, but, trust me, it’s huge! Up until now I have known I needed to be stronger here or there in my body, but only on a surface level. Now I understand just how important it is as a whole, and exactly which body parts need to be worked on. Another thing that is different is the fact that instead of just putting it all off, I actually work on it and put a good effort into improving and not just ‘trying’ to improve.
 I feel more connected to myself, and thus to the people around me, and thus to God. I hear my body and what it needs. I also hear what others are saying and needing from me or for themselves. I also hear, through reading the Bible and attending Church, what God needs of me and what I need from God.
Qi gong hasn’t answered all of my problems, and in some ways it has just presented me with more questions while presenting me with a more clearly marked path or direction I need to go for the different answers.

Don’t misunderstand either, qi gong isn’t something that teaches you to be completely calm, but it does give you a major avenue in calming down once you are upset or relieving the stress you find in yourself. It doesn’t make you a guru of peace and love, but it does give you a tool to use in obtaining a better understanding of what your need for you to be healthier, happier, and more balanced in so many different areas of yourself. But, this is what I get out of qi gong. Someone else may get something completely different from it. You’ll never know until you try qi gong. It doesn’t matter how good your body is, or how strong or weak it is – qi gong will give you a tool to improve your life.

And Bill, you realize I’m going to be hounding you with questions now about when and where the next class is going to be. You continue to teach me my dear friend, and I will learn…even though it may take me a bit to wrap my head around some concepts.

Have A Light Spirit Today

2010-03-10T09:03:00.001-05:00

It is rainy here, gloomy, and my body could be feeling better, but my spirit is light today.

Superbowl, Video Games, Creativity and Lent

2010-02-07T15:31:00.002-05:00

Today is Superbowl Sunday and we're hosting a semi-early Superbowl party since several people are going to have to leave before the end of the actual game. This year neither team is one of my favorites, but I believe I'll pull for The Saints since they have never been in the Superbowl before.

Dragon Age is nearing its conclusion, and this makes me sad. It has been quite a number of years since I have found a video game that reaches out and touches the creativity inside of me as well as the adventurer and likewise lets me escape from this world for happy hours on end. I know that the major games out there for escape appears to be war games, but with wars really going on in the world and real people dying, this doesn't appeal to me at all. But the fantasy element in Dragon Age does and I simply cannot wait for the expansion game to come out! I just do not want the adventure to end.

Perhaps it is because of my enjoyment of Dragon Age, or perhaps it is because Dragon Age has let me relax so much that my creativity has indeed returned. The short stories are flowing, the novel ideas are flowing, and poetry has returned. Not only has written creativity returned, but knitting creativity has likewise returned!

All of this creativity has returned just in time as Lent approaches. One of the things I am hoping for to do through this Lenten season is to be creative and as peaceful as possible. Not a bad goal for Lent this year.

Qi Gong and the Golden Heal

2010-01-31T21:23:00.002-05:00

So far I am keeping up with updates on Sundays at the very least, which is working. As I improve during the coming weeks physically I believe the updates will grow more in number per week.

This week has been a week of seemingly non-stop qi gong. I did my regular qi gong practice every day and began to feel stronger and stronger. Thursday I slipped with my crutches here in my house. There was a very loud *crack* and my shoulder just was not good. Since my shift wasn't over I still had to work so this meant between calls was a lot of qi gong, which actually saved me over.

I went to qi gong class that same Thursday where Just Bill began showing us "silk reeling" exercises and I have come to the understanding that my left hand does not understand making figure eights.

It still doesn't want to do figure eights.

I'll keep working with it though and see what it will do this week.

Any way....

As I was working with the qi gong when I was injured I kept imagining that the energy was golden and it was going to the hurt place and wrapping around it like a golden sheet and healing it. My shoulder began to feel better and have thus kept it up with qi gong breathing, energy collection, and my shoulder has continued to get better.

The qi gong didn't keep me from having to take some extra pain meds, but not as much extra as I would have been forced to take with all of the additional pain if I had not done the exercises. Plus, my mood has also been more light than it otherwise would have.

Yes, I have felt like absolute crap and moving has been a royal witch, but my shoulder's progression of healing has definitely increased.

Why Didn't My Kitteh Do This For Me This Morning?

2010-01-26T16:18:00.002-05:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Feeling a little better today. My shoulder is better. My feet are not. The back is better. The knee is not. So, I guess this is 50/50 over all. Not too bad.

Today it has been very cold and has either snowed like mad (at one point while working I looked out my window and it was white with snow, I couldn't see the tree outside my window!), sort of drizzled cold rain, or just simply been frigid.

Not the Monday I Expected

2010-01-25T19:43:00.002-05:00

There was a lot planned for today, being Monday and all. There was work, of course, and then writing and playing some on Dragon Age, and then the first night of tai chi. Sadly, none of this happened today because my arthritis attacked with a holy vengeance upon me.

Today has been a day of sitting as still as possible, or literally writhing in pain. It has been so bad that Hubby didn't go to work either today, but stayed around to take care of me, as well as to determine if we might need to get me to a doctor.

Currently the pain is better. I was able to do some qi gong that eased up a good portion of the pain. It was remarkably easy to direct the chi to the shoulder and other bad spots. My back received a lot of it, as did my hands. All it took was some concentration...and belief.

Surprisingly, chi work is coming quite easily for me. I have done energy work before, but never truly put this immense determination into it, some people would call it "putting my mind to it." Now that I have, and seen positive and real results from it, has pushed me over the edge of just playing with the concept of energy and chi work, into making it a goal of mine.

The qi gong did not stop the pain entirely, but it eased it up enough that I have manged to sit up and move a little. I have only had to take one dose of Advil, which is remarkable at a time like this. Advil does nothing for the pain either, but it does help the swelling of what few joints I have that continue to have joint material. I have been able to be civil to my husband and friends who have called to check on me, and although I am completely and utterly exhausted from all of the pain today, I know I will be able to work tomorrow.

I was also good and called and left a message with Just Bill to let him know I didn't just stand him and the class up, and tried to get hold of Bliss, but just didn't have the physical stamina to wait on hold for any length of time. Next week I am bound and determined to go to tai chi, and I am not missing qi gong class for anything!

Wittle Jake Got Upset With Pop

2010-01-24T18:43:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time there was a little puppy named Jake. He was a lucky little fellow who went straight from his mama's side to Poppa, the bestest human dad evar! Jake's Poppa loved him and so did Poppa's sister and brother-in-law. He was a part of a big wonderful family.

Jake's Poppa stayed with him all the time when he was little and played with him and loved him. But then, as Jake grew up, Poppa said he had to get another job. So Poppa began going out during the day to something Poppa called "interviews", but he always came back to the Jake, which is what Poppa said every day when he left for a while. "I'll always come back for the Jake."

It was never too long that Poppa left Jake, but it felt like forever! Jake would try and play with the cats, but all they did was make funny noises at him that were a little scary.

Poppa worked hard to get this thing called a job. Jake didn't know what it was, but it was very important to Poppa so it was very important to Jake, too. Poppa worked with a box that sometimes made noise and showed pictures. Jake would wait patiently beside Poppa to finish and play with him.

Then, one day, Poppa came home and was so happy and excited. He had the thing! The job thing! Poppa said, "Things are going to change, Jake, but always remember: I will always come back for the Jake."

Jake was glad Poppa had this job thing. Nothing really changed for them except Poppa was happier and started pulling things out of the closet like nicer jeans and shirts and something that smelled good, even though it was washed called "a lunch box."

Then, one morning, before the sun had even woke up, Poppa was up and moving about the house putting on clothes and hurrying really fast. Jake got up too because, you could never tell when something might happen that would let Jake ride in the car! But Poppa didn't get the leash. Poppa filled the water bowl and the food dish extra high, gave the cats extra crunchy food, too; and then he petted Jake and was gone out the door.

Jake wasn't too worried about this because Popa had been trying very hard to find this job thing. The sun was good and up and still Poppa didn't come home. The sun was almost to its highest point when Poppa came home and fixed some food quickly for himself and set some aside for Jake, like always. Jake was SO happy Poppa had come home! But then, after eating, Poppa left again and Jake didn't see him for several long hours later.

Jake was so very sad. And bored. Jake was very bored. His toys weren't fun any more without Poppa.

The very next day Poppa did the same thing. He got up before the sun woke up, and was gone all day. He only had time to play with Jake when he was through with this job thing. Jake decided the job wasn't a good thing if it took Popa away so much.

Jake began to really not the like job thing because it took Poppa away from him forever and only gave him back to Jake on something called "days off" and they were never in a row.

Another thing Jake began to not like was the thing Popa talked into that always took his attention away from Jake and playing or just resting with Jake. Poppa called it "a phone."

One day, Poppa came home for the short time to eat, which Jake learned was called "lunch" and was in such a hurry he left the thing called "a phone" behind. It was the perfect opportunity to teach that nusance noisesome thing who was top dog behind Poppa: Jake.

But maybe, Jake thought, he had taught the phone too good of a lesson because it crunched really easily. Just when Jake was thinking about eating the thing, Poppa came home.

Poppa was so upset! Jake had never seen him quite so upset and sad. "I need that, Jake," Poppa said. Jake felt bad, but it felt good too because he had shown everyone he was Poppa's second in command! Even the cats would show him some respect now! But that didn't make Poppa feel any better and Jake lay down on the floor and looked up at him with his bestest sad eyes and Poppa forgave Jake.

A new phone came to live at the house after the old one's demise. It still took Poppa's attention away as did the nasty job, but Poppa really did always come back for Jake.

The World is Soggy Outside My Window

2010-01-20T16:09:00.002-05:00

I know Lexington isn't getting as much rain and water as California, but it is really soggy outside. It is cold and soggy. It actually makes me want to stay inside and be quiet with knitting needles and yarn, or play video games and solve crazy puzzles.

What Voice?

2010-01-13T22:40:00.003-05:00

Currently I am suffering from laryngitis and a head cold. Earlier today there was a fever. Now, thanks to medications, there isn't a fever, but I am quite cold most of the time and quite tired. Yes, I know that it is late, but working here at the computer on things that don't require me to talk, well, helps me to actually relax so that when I do go to bed I will be more likely to sleep deeply.

Today was one of those perseverance days for work. In the beginning of the day I didn't have problems with my voice, just a stopped up head and nose that surprisingly brought sympathy and get-well wishes from several callers; however, about an hour and a half before my day was over my voice began to go rapidly and then vanished all together into a whisper. You can't whisper and talk to people on the phone. Luckily for me one of my supervisors let me pull e-mails and make notes on them. Before signing out today I asked if I could do the same thing since I don't want to have to take time off from work if I can possibly help it. I need a good paycheck.

There was a lot I had planned to do today. I was going to clean on the house after work, and play with the dogs, and organize the office some (it's a royal mess), but What did I do? I slept to the sounds of the TV. The interesting part is that it was needed.

The only thing that truly sort of "hurt" about not doing, was working on my Victorian story with its newest arrival of a witch. This story has me interested. I know a little of what is going to happen, or what I would like to see happen, but, for the most part, I am enjoying just watching it unfold. Sometimes I have to stop the process and rein in a character, but it is wonderful. This writing project has been the most satisfying one in quite a while. Add to this that I am using a dip pen and bottle of ink on a legal pad to get words down and maybe you can understand how much bliss it actually is giving me to write it!

Now, I go to bed. I was bound and determined not to go to bed without updating here. Now I can go to bed with more peace.

Work + Shift + New = Change

2010-01-10T21:01:00.002-05:00

Well, I have a new shift at work: 7:55 a.m. - 1:55 p.m. Part of me is excited. Part of me is nervous about getting this body to move so early in the morning.

I am actually excited by the new shift because this actually gives me time to write and work on the house as in cleaning and cooking, etc. This is beneficial and useful.

Already there is a list prepared for things to do in the morning and hopefully the routine will get established, or establish itself so that this won't be such a shock to my system.

Coffee is going to be much needed from here on out!

In other news, there is still snow on my ramp. I will be staying in for a little while longer until it melts some more. Since I am getting off earlier at work, well, I should be able to run away to Barns & Noble during the day and be back before the husband gets home. I consider this a win/win situation!

Well, we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

The First Monday of a New Year's Work Week and Song Lyrics

2010-01-03T20:14:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is Monday. The first Monday of 2010. Monday. I have to work tomorrow morning. Just keep thinking about the paycheck. Just keep thinking about the paycheck. Just keep thinking....

Mondays are rarely good in my job. Usually the calls swamp us and I can barely have enough time to breathe much less think or grab a snack here and there. Since I don't have a lunch break, well, I'm starving by the time the day ends. Still, as of January 15th, *knock on wood*, I will have been in my job and with my current company for an entire year. This pleases me greatly. It gives me hope and helps me settle some weird turmoil deep down inside. Hopefully I can continue to do a good enough job and stay where I am for a while longer.

It has taken a lot of thinking these past couple of weeks preparing for Christmas and then New Year's (which didn't pan out as I had hoped), but there is a plan for obtaining the goals I've mentioned. It is a good plan, I think, and do-able. The do-ability part of the plan is actually something that is encouraging me at the moment, where before had been a shadow of lurking doubt.

I am not "pumped", but I am...peaceful about 2010 and the things that should be accomplished. I am not even going to put an "if" in that statement. This is going to be my year.

Today, when I opened up the browser there was a new "most downloaded song" and after listening to it twice I actually wondered who was downloading it. The song isn't bad. It is catchy and has a fantastic dance beat to it, but it isn't for grammar school kids or tweens in the least, and possibly not some teens because, well, it encourages partying a wee bit much. It is called "TiK ToK" by Ke$sha, yes, this is how she spells her stage name.

It took a little searching to find a site that actually had the lyrics to the song and I listed again to make sure they were as close to correct as possible. They are as follows:

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
(Hey, what up girl?)
Put my glasses on, Im out the door - I’m gonna hit this city (Lets go)
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
Cause when I leave for the night, I ain’t coming back
I’m talking - pedicure on our toes, toes
Trying on all our clothes, clothes
Boys blowing up our phones, phones
Drop-toping, playing our favorite cds
Pulling up to the parties
Trying to get a little bit tipsy

[CHORUS]
Don’t stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the click
But the party don’t stop
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

[Chorus]

Aint got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
Aint got no money in my pocket, but I’m already here
Now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger
Im talking about - everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys trying to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk
Now, now - we goin til they kick us out, out
Or the police shut us down, down
Police shut us down, down
Po-po shut us
[Chorus] x 2
DJ, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds

Yeah, you got me
With my hands up
You got me now
You gotta that sound
Yea, you got me
DJ, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
With my hands up
Get your hands up
Put your hands up

The video is catchy too:

I am not all up-in-arms about censorship and everything, but those who have younger chidren may want to re-think downloading this particular song for their tweens or young kids, even though it is super-popular.

After all, this is The Kentucky Mountain Girl News and part of the reason I began this blog was to share information with you, Dear Readers.

A New Year. A New Decade.

2010-01-01T17:16:00.002-05:00

First and foremost.... HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The husband and I spent a quiet New Year's Eve together. He had fought a migraine for most of the day yesterday and the cold temps here in Lexington just made me back out of going downtown and enjoying all of the wonderfulness of counting down to a new decade as well as a New Year. I played it safe. I played it safe for myself as well as for my husband. Some would say this was quite thoughtful and very adult of me; others would say that I had lost my youthful exuberance for challenging everything and everyone to do what I want. I cannot, for the life of me, choose the best side to stand on as far as my actions are concerned. Yes, I was disappointed in not going downtown and dancing until I could not longer breathe. Yes, I wanted to enjoy bringing in a New Year with a lot of people who were hoping for something better like me. No, I was not willing to chance falling on ice and injuring myself for the beginning of the new year. No, I did not want to add to the stress of a post-migrained husband in a crowd of people with flashing lights and loud music.

Sadly, I even declined having people over because the husband wasn't up to it.

So, we quietly brought in the newness of the Year and Decade with video games, a kiss, and watching just a few minutes of Carson Daily and Rihanna in New York City where it was snowing and looked so cold. (Actually I felt quite sorry for Rihanna who was singing her heart out and wearing a belly-showing bustier with a short white fur-looking coat and riding pants and boots. I could almost feel her cold, especially since her band and back-up singers were bundled in several layers.) Then we went back to playing the video game - Conan for the XBox 360.

I actually ended up leaving the husband playing the game and took myself off to bed and didn't wake up or get up until 11:40 this morning (or what was left of the morning).

Friends are coming over tonight to enjoy ham hocks, black-eyed peas and pintos, with collard greens (or any greens I can put together) with some cornbread. A traditional mountain New Year's Day supper.

As far as New Year's Resolutions are concerned I have decided on the following:

I am going to be happy this year and as filled with peace as possible, even if I must depend on the use of some nerve pill here and there to help me along.
I am going to get out and do what I like and that makes me happy whether or not anyone approves, unless the thing I want to do puts me in danger.
I am going to correct as many of the "mistakes" my husband says I make where he is concerned as possible. The others I will note, and just keep on living my life and doing my best to please him as possible while understanding and accepting I am never really going to be able to do that on a constant basis because, let's face it, we're both humans and humans make mistakes and err and we just have to keep going forward with living.
The house will be better kept and I am going to encourage the husband to help clean up the messes he make- not two days later, but before going to bed.
I am going to move more and continue getting in better physical condition.
I am going to work as well as I can and keep my job for as long as possible.
I am going to move forward with the writing and the knitting because I am almost positive this is how I am going to get the extra money I need in order to keep up a good living condition, as well as keep myself in yarns, journals, and books.
I am going to organize, organize, organize.
I am going to follow the dictates of my faith.
I am going to prepare myself for death every single day from this point forward. Yes, it does sound a little morbid, but if I live every single day as if I am going to die at the end of it then perhaps I will be able to keep more joy in my life and everyone else around me as happy as possible.

These look simple, and even sound simple, but this is the most difficult New Year's Resolution list I have ever made for myself.

A Wonderdul

2009-12-27T22:19:00.001-05:00

May God bless you all.

Christmas Eve Eve

2009-12-23T17:28:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. So, this is Christmas Eve Eve.

When I was a little girl, there was just as much anticipation and excitement for this night as it was for Christmas Eve, which is when we traditionally would open our presents because Christmas Day was all for cooking, eating, and visiting...and playing with the new toys so the grown-ups would know which ones to take back and exchange (this rarely happened).

The excitement for this evening was just because. Just because it was close to Christmas. Just because the best Christmas specials came on. Just because Mommy and Daddy relaxed a little longer in preparation for the spectacular marathon of family and friends that we would go through receiving into our home and feeding. It was never a chore. It was exciting and wonderful. It was what Christmas meant to them, and subsequently to the rest of us girls. Christmas was the time when all of us could openly hope and trust; remember Christ's birth and ultimate sacrifice. This is how Christmas is supposed to be celebrated.

Even though Mommy and Daddy are gone, this is still how Christmas is celebrated with very few changes. Christmas Eve is for Church service and exchanging of a few gifts. Christmas Day is for traveling to Richmond to Hubby's parents' and the most wonderful of feasts. Christmas Night is for the exchange of gifts between me and Hubby and a few other people.

Our Christmas celebration doesn't stop until the full 12 Days of Christmas have gone. Somewhere in there is a celebration of all of our friends and family. This year it is going to be on January 8th. It is a time of more fellowship and love. It is a continuing time of hope.

For a few years I didn't have this hope, this "Christmas Spirit" if you will. This year it has returned and I can't help but spread the hope and belief of the upcoming New Year of 2010 is going to be spectacular. Mostly it is because I need to believe next year (which is so close you can taste it) is going to be absolutely the most fantastic of years for me and those I love.

One of Those Quiet Snowy Reflective Saturdays

2009-12-19T13:43:00.003-05:00

I promised someone quite dear to me that I would begin updating here more often than not at all. Yesterday I spent a good portion of the evening wondering exactly what I was going to write about today and debated many topics; however, with all the talk of snow and snowstorms my mind wandered around to peacefulness and being relaxed, which is what the new qi gong class I am taking is all about, as well as movement.

The very first class ended with me so relaxed I was positive. Positive I was going to complete the course. Positive I was going to complete all of the Christmas knitting projects. Positive that everything I felt that was "bad" with me, well, really wasn't that bad.

All week long I practiced what I had learned for ten minutes every day before work, or after work, and noticed that I was indeed more relaxed when work was over and the knot in my shoulders went down considerably after qi gong practice. When the second meeting came around and more was added, again I felt positive and relaxed by the end of class and felt more prepared to face the coming weekend and week (we practice on Thursday evenings).

Yesterday I practiced after work and still, for some reason felt stressed. It as mostly due to the husband being a husband and changing all of the plans I had made for the most perfect room in the house to me: a craft room. Last night I went in there, before it gets changed, and just knitted and practiced qi gong and felt the stresses just slipped away. Positive thoughts and feelings came back, and then, suddenly, I found myself praying and being even more relaxed and even more positive. Then, in one flashing moment of clarity I understood exactly why the craft room and how its arrangement mattered to be on such a deep level - besides just being a silly craft room filled with yarn and all sorts of knitting and spinning items:

The craft room is my peaceful room. It is situated in the middle of my house with bedroom and office on one side, and kitchen and living room on the other side. These rooms I usually share with more than one person and even though I can usually knit while watching television or knit when I am working (except here lately) and still get what I need to do done, but the enjoyment of it is not as great as sitting in the craft room with all of my supplies present, quiet, and the window blinds open just so much allowing the natural light to come in and join me in the projects I am doing. Everything is arranged per my wishes and the walls are waiting for me to adorn them and the spinning wheel is waiting for more roving so I can spin in there away from so many distractions and just be at peace with myself and with God. Surprisingly, not even the dogs join me in the craft room, but will lie outside in the hall as contentedly as if they were at my feet.

The husband, seeing a practical need of having to move some furniture has decided the only place he can put said furniture is in the craft room until he can "get the time" to move said furniture into our storage building. We all know what this really means: He isn't going to move it again once it is in the craft room. Because more items are coming into the craft room everything that was done for me and that I did will change and I felt quite as if one of the more precious spaces to me was being violated and my wishes and desires were not being respected. (Yes, part of this is true, but I understand the husband's reasonings.) Even though the craft room is going to be crowded and it is going to be quite stuffy I have managed, in part, to come to an understanding about it and have made plans without the husband being present to get the soon-to-be-empty furniture into the building and correct the craft room back into the way it should be.

However, I couldn't have permitted myself to come to a conclusion and plan about all of this if I hadn't first been relaxed enough to where I could think and look at the situation with a more critical and less emotional eye. Yes, I am still quite upset about it, but resigned now, and have a very large determination to get my room back to where it should be: A place to knit, spin, pray, and do qi gong in peace.

Yahoo! Music - "Bad Day" Named One-Hit Wonder Of The Decade - Stop The Presses!

2009-12-07T17:22:00.002-05:00

"Bad Day" Named One-Hit Wonder Of The Decade - Stop The Presses!

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/stopthepresses/94844/bad-day-named-one-hit-wonder-of-the-decade/

============================================================
Check out Yahoo! Music for music videos, customized radio, photos, lyrics, exclusive interviews, and more.
http://music.yahoo.com/

I actually forgot why I liked this song initially until it came back up here and caught my eye. And, for those of you who likewise cannot remember the video - here it is. Enjoy.

Yahoo! News Story - Senate votes to keep Medicare cuts in health bill - Yahoo! News

2009-12-03T17:04:00.001-05:00

(handyha@gmail.com) has sent you a news article.
(Email address has not been verified.)
------------------------------------------------------------
Personal message:

Why does this not surprise me?

Senate votes to keep Medicare cuts in health bill - Yahoo! News

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_health_care_overhaul

============================================================
Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/

A Good Movie Really Sucked and Weird Moments Abound

2009-11-30T19:48:00.003-05:00

I wanted to see Ninja Assassin sooo badly, but after talking Hubby and Cheyenne into going to see it with me I was greatly disappointed. The movie was "good" in and of itself, but things were just too over-the-top (like all of the buckets of blood and body parts that weren't necessary to make the movie a good movie).

The best part of the movie was Rain - the protagonist of our tale. He looked the part. He moved like you would think a martial arts move should be done. He is definitely good looking, and he can actually act. These are all positives, yet the movie lacked so much that it is almost impossible to put my finger on one particular reason why it wasn't good.

Yes, the over-exaggeration of blood and body parts flying off at the touch of a shuriken or sword was a bit much, but it lacked, or missed the mark for what makes a good martial arts movie. There was even a story that made sense to follow, but it just wasn't there. Yes, there was tons of violence that actually sort of made sense on some warped level. Yes, there was a love interest that was one lost, a new love interest gained; there was suffering of the hero, but at the end of the movie I was left wanting something...more.

Hubby wanted to walk out of the movie within the first ten minutes of the movie, but, since I had purchased the tickets, I couldn't afford just leaving the theater because I don't make as much money as he does, and thus do not have the luxury of walking out on a movie I don't particularly care for after the first little bit.

In other news, I am still writing on the pretty, pretty drag queen's adventures. Unfortunately it feels as if I am only writing a word or two at a time.

Having a Grrrrr Moment

2009-11-10T14:26:00.002-05:00

Signed on for work today and the server had decided my password was wrong. A ticket has been opened but no one has contacted me since it was put in at 10:57 A.M. Yeah, not exactly happy but am trying to just let it go and fill the day with other productive things to do. You know make a Christmas list that people have been hounding me for for a while; looking up patterns that I need for Christmas and baby knitting; and just keeping from stressing as much as possible.

I am not happy about the work situation, especially since I can't fix myself a bite of food in case tech support decides to call. About the only thing left to me to munch on is old Halloween candy, and even it is becoming sparse.

So, back to perusing the Internet for interesting somethings.

More Words

2009-11-05T18:36:00.002-05:00

Another successful day of at least getting more words down for the pretty, pretty drag queen.

Today's word total = 734
Total words= 3,181

This is called DETERMINATION!!!

2009-11-04T18:56:00.002-05:00

Have you ever seen a more determined creature? Or, more correctly, have you ever seen a more threatening creature? I bet this is the sweetest cat evar, until you threaten to take the pancakes away!

Yesterday I had technical difficulties at work so I actually sat myself down and began work again on the pretty, pretty drag queen's story.

It didn't just feel "good" to be creating something, of telling a story: It felt extraordinarily right, which was just what was needed to fuel the writing fire again and help me obtain the determination of said kitty. This time I am finishing the story. No more excuses. No more reasons. No more "I can'ts" because, to be honest, I am actually quite tired of the excuses. So what if it might not get published, I have enjoyed being a different person for a while and seeing how their lives turn out.

Yesterday the beginning word count for the pretty, pretty drag queen: 1,800

Today's additional words: 647

Total word count: 2,447

Yes, I know that today's word count is a lot smaller than yesterday's but the main thing that has me in the squee is that I actually sat me down and wrote some on the story.

Not going back and editing the thing is driving me a little wild, but getting everything down now is the important thing. All the errors can be fixed later.

Having gotten words down has actually made me feel quite accomplished. In fact, writing has made me feel better all around. It has been missing from my daily routine and it should never have been pushed to the back burner for whatever reasons that kept it there.

Now, I just have to keep the kitty-like determination on the writing as it does with the pancakes!

Sunday

2009-11-01T18:10:00.002-05:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Well, we had a quiet Halloween in Lexington. Hubby and I remained home to pass out candy. Unfortunately we only had about a dozen Trick-or-Treaters. All of them were quite cute, but they were so quick I didn't get one single photo! This was not something I wanted to miss this year, but, well, if they or the parents aren't going to stick around for a picture I can't make them. I guess some parents are really weird about having a complete stranger taking a photo of their kids.

Our friends went downtown and partied. I SO should have been there helping them! Still, it is a good thing I did not go because, for some reason, I am fighting another fever.

How Appropriate!

2009-10-30T18:45:00.000-04:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Quick! I need a new plan!

2009-10-29T19:18:00.002-04:00

I am not feeling absolutely wonderful yet. There is a nagging cough and stuffy head even though the fevers have gone the way of the Great Do-Do bird. Sadly, this stupid flu is going to keep me from going downtown and partying this Halloween. Yes, I am much bummed about that.

So, alternate plans for Halloween must be made.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Quick and not so Easy

2009-10-24T16:48:00.001-04:00

Officially have the flu. Not H1N1 though. Still, it is kicking my butt!

Mysterious Friday

2009-10-09T17:43:00.002-04:00

It has rained off and on for the past 24 hours. My arthritis is kicking up and I am not feeling well, but worse is the fact that I am not emotionally feeling well. Rain does that to me sometimes, as do dreary, no sun days, like today and yesterday.

There are a lot of contributing factors to my doldrums, but the end result is the same. Fortunately I want to change the emotional icky and make it better...I am just not quite sure how at the moment.

Still, there are good things happening: It is Friday. I actually made it to work today. There is a chance of sun tomorrow for the business lunch. Hubby is going with me to the business lunch. My dogs are with me and I have warm Coke for the tummy rumbles. So, things aren't all bad in my mysterious world, and, with luck and some more work, they will be better sooner than later.

Tickling the Funny Bone

2009-10-08T16:55:00.000-04:00

A New Show that Should not be Forgotten!

2009-10-07T15:56:00.002-04:00

It is no secret that yours truly is a crime show buff. I had not heard of this new show called The Forgotten until surfing the TV while recuperating from the stomach flu yesterday and just happened to catch Christian Slater on Rachel Ray's talk show.

I knew that Slater was supposed to be in a new show since the absolute best show ever about the split personality was axed, but was surprised to discover this show was actually based on one small fact: There are organizations out there who volunteer their time to try and give names to those victims of crimes who are nameless. According to Slater there are over 40,000 nameless victims (Jane & John Does) out there and organizations like this fictional one really do work to try and give a name to the nameless.

Since I actually like to watch Christian Slater and how he portrays his characters, I set the DVR to tape the show last night and since the stomach flu is still keeping me from working (I would much prefer a different form of forced vacation) I watched it and am instantly hooked!

Slater's character is a retired Chicago police officer and other individuals of his cohorts have lives outside of their research for the nameless victims of crimes. They are the ordinary people, just like you and me, who have decided to make a difference in the world as best they can. The show is up-lifting and makes you think, and also encourages you to do something with those talents you just let slip by here and there.

It is emotional. It has action. It has a common-place feel about it that lifts it up above just another "ordinary" crime drama into a new realm of possibilities. Real possibilities.

Although I have missed the first episode, I am going to go back and watch it at ABC.com. It deserves a look-see. I think it is one of the best new shows of the season and should stick around for a while. Kudos to ABC for such a wonderful new show!

A Woman in Stages

2009-10-06T18:10:00.002-04:00

The above is a painting by Edvard Munch titled Woman in Three Stages. It holds me deeply and I feel it more than I have felt anything in quite a while. It makes me want to get hold of oil pastels again and doodle, expressing emotions in the only avenue that seems to be able to get them out of me these days - color and shape. Of course words help, but sometimes, just sometimes, words are too complicated an avenue to express what is roiling and boiling inside my chest and heart. For those moments it must be a visual medium such as paint, oil pastels, or photography.

Unfortunately I have not been able to get outside and do my pictures because a) I have been quite ill; and b) it has been too cool for me to go outside and look for interesting images around my home.

It would be nice to roam a graveyard for gravestone pictures, but this requires getting Hubby to go with me, and sometimes it would be nice just to be able to roam and take pictures as I see them without having to talk overly much or explain why I am photographing this or that. My eye sees things differently, it seems, from the rest of humanity and most assuredly my husband.
And, I cannot draw worth a lick! Still, sometimes it isn't the object that is being drawn, but the very act of drawing and selecting colors to share the emotion itself is what is most important.

The sharing of emotion is what seems to keep drawing me to Edvard Munch's creations of late. In each painting, drawing, picture that he produces he shows emotion. The emotion not only jumps out at you, but it itself, is screaming from the canvas itself. It is emotion everyone can understand in their own particular way in their own particular time in their own life that makes his artistry so important.

Another artist who touches me in the same way is Georgia O'Keeffe. Her works are beautiful. Sad. Thought provoking. Important. They have an importance even if it is to no one else but her, and us because they were important to her - a circle.

Perhaps it is time to pick up paints and oil pastels again for me, and pencils so I can express the currently inexpressible.

sigh

2009-09-30T13:24:00.002-04:00

After waking and finding yourself in a clearing surround by an evergreen forest that looks the same all the way around, you have two choices:

1. Make camp and stay where you are or
2. Choose a direction and start walking.

I think I am just going to pick a direction and start walking, even if it is only mental and emotional and not physical. Make sense?

Work and Work

2009-09-28T19:30:00.004-04:00

There just isn't any getting around Mondays is there? You have two days to rest from five days of everything possible crammed into them, and just when it seems you almost have recovered your energy Monday comes again. O. Well.

While working at the "day job" today, i.e. call center - my head kept returning to the story I am currently working on, as well as some ideas for cleaning up a short story I have recently completed.

A couple of years ago I would have been so annoyed that there just wasn't enough time to get the story written that it would have made it almost impossible to complete. Now, with time really crunched, it seems there is more time to write now than when there was all the time in the world to do nothing but write. Why is it that when you have enough time to do what you need you never get around to what you need to do, but when there are constraints upon your time there is suddenly time to do almost everything you need?

This is truly one of the greatest mysteries of the universe!

Not Quite the Weekend I was Expecting

2009-09-26T18:14:00.002-04:00

My arthritis has really kicked up on me for the past week. It has rained here in Lexington practically off and on all week. It has rained today and is still feeling like rain in my body although the sun has actually managed to peek its way out from behind the clouds.

The rain is going to really help the leaves be beautiful for when they turn, however. So, complaining about the weather doesn't really do any good about it at all. In fact, it is quite useless. Still, just to be able to say, "Hey, I don't feel good" does help just a little more than suffering in silence.

Despite the tears shed in pain, I am going to encourage today to be better than what it otherwise normally would have been. There is knitting planned for later as well as a little on-line shopping for a couple of things to decorate my journal/diary pages with; and there are movies to catch up on as well. Even though there are things to do today to keep me distracted, the main thing I was looking forward to, mostly, was the St. Andrew's Festival at my Church. Every year since joining, and even before joining, Hubby and I have managed to work at the bookstore booth each and every year. This is the first year we have not worked it together. The festival is a weekend event, so there is a chance I might be able to work at it tomorrow after Church, I am not at all certain this is even possible.

Moving for me today is so painful all I have been able to do is move, get from point A to point B and then dissolve into tears. Yes, there is pain medication I can take for such a bad day, but I am only taking half of the dosage because I really would prefer not to sleep the day away, but I might just have to take a second dose - usually I try to take one dose and suffer through the rest of the day because I want a DAY, not a snooze fest.

So, despite the fact this weekend was not what I was expecting it to be - I am still hopeful it will be as good as it can possibly be.

Something Cute on a Dreary Day

2009-09-25T19:39:00.002-04:00

Isn't this just adorable? This is Cappa (Cappuchino). She rules this house with a gentle, but firm paw. As you can tell, she has it hard in taking care of all of her duties. She must eat, sleep, amuse her human, keep the dogs in line, and, of course, make certain her beauty naps are correct in number for the day - especially on dreary days such as today. It is hard being a kind and gentle princess over such a domain. It just wears a kitty out!

Personally, I am ever so glad Friday has arrived. There is a great deal going on here at home: This is our annual St. Andrew's Church festival and for the first time in ever I will not be helping Hubby with the bookstore tomorrow (Saturday), because of the weather and my current pain level. My arthritis, limbs, and chest all say that it is going to rain quite a lot tonight, tomorrow, and possibly the next day. We shall see, of course, if I am right. Either way, the pain is here and it is planning on staying put for a while. So, tomorrow, I will be home while he is there. He will, of course, be in my thoughts a lot. We have done this together almost every since we have been in Church!

In other news, my paper journal is becoming nice and fat from photos, drawings, and knitting patterns. It is growing so large with a collection of swatches that I am going to have to keep a knitting journal for real, not just in pretense! I am quite surprised by it actually.

The dreary, gray sky has my mood somewhat down. It will perk up soon.

Have a great Friday y'all!

2009-09-21T19:12:00.002-04:00

Here is a cute picture that simply makes me giggle each and every time I see it because Chewie, herein pictured, is the sweetest, most gentle creature on the face of this big planet. He won't harm a single thing and puts himself between danger and whatever he is trying to protect, whether that is me or a cricket! The Beware of the Dog sign in our back yard is there for our babies' protection really more than anyone else (human wise). Still, Chewie underneath it is just an oxymoron for me.

Today has been Monday. All. Day. Long. I am glad the work part of it is over because it was simply rough. The call volume wasn't out-of-this-world and the people, for the most part were nice and really just wanted the paper they had been given to go away, which is a) my job; and b) something I don't mind helping anyone do! Still, there were technical difficulties involved. At one point my head-set just was not working. On another call the person on the other end could not hear me, and the few Spanish-speaking calls I received were dropped because I could not get hold of anyone fast enough.

Hubby didn't go to work because he still had a fever from whatever was going on with him this weekend. However, he would not deny work and actually did some from home, which, in the end, helped to make him feel better. Surprisingly I understand this action. Since I have returned to the work-force again not working through the week feels really odd, although having an occasional day off wouldn't be so bad, or being able to take it off even if I didn't would be absolutely lovely!

Besides it being Monday it has rained all day off-and-on and the temperatures have dropped down into the low 70s. This encourages my arthritis to be very upset and since it cannot be upset in peace and quiet it tries very hard to make me miserable, or at least acknowledge its ever constant presence. Yeah, I've hurt today. It wouldn't hurt quite so bad if I could turn off the A/C but Hubby needs the cool because of the fevers, so I have been wrapping up as best I could. It hasn't helped all that much, but it has helped some. Part of me is actually looking forward to having the heat turned on because it will help push the arthritis back further than it is willing to go at the moment.

If this doesn't get better in the next little bit I believe I am going to pull out ye olde water bottle and fill it with hot water and hug it to my chest in perfect bliss!

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