Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Simple

My dog JoJo has a favorite toy.

It must even watch out the window with her.

See....

JoJo's Squeaky-Squeaky1

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Some Days You Just Need Beauty


Today with work, things were quite hectic and then my call link just froze up on me. This kept me from answering any calls and gave me an unwanted break from the job, which caused me just a little distress because when you are supposed to be working dang it you are supposed to be working! Yes, yes, I am an odd bird, but this is the way I am and most people accept this just let me stress a little so I can eventually relax. Believe it or not, but it actually works. With me at least.
Since I have my camera pictures are once more available for the blog and elsewhere. The truly wonderful thing is that this picture is of some blackeyed susans I just discovered growing at the side of my home day before yesterday. As soon as I possibly could I made sure to take a picture of them. Aren't they completely adorable! I didn't even plant them, which makes them even more special.
This morning, being an industrial person that I am (for today at least) I went outside with my camera for a small jaunt to capture my tomatoes and herbs in the morning light and while I was sitting there, quietly preparing my camera, a mourning dove came and landed right beside me! I have been feeding the birds off and on for a while so it didn't surprise me that the little creature landed so close to me, but the quiet peace it had while beside me was mesmerizing and quite humbling. Sadly, I was unable to move the camera so as to get a picture of it before it flew away, but, perhaps, tomorrow will prove to be a better bird photo day than today has been.
And, before closing, yes, the problem that was wrong with the computer is taken care of and tomorrow will be another day for work and pictures and living this wonderfully odd life I call my own.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

A New Glimpse


DSCN0033
Originally uploaded by hahwriter

Saturday, July 18, 2009

At Last It Is Saturday



Yes, my Harry Potter geekery has been assuaged for the time being. As was expected, there was some tearing up when dear Dumbledore met his end. However, it wasn't to the point that tears were dripping down my cheeks in deep mourning (like what happened when I read it in the book).

As was hoped, I did not have to see the movie alone. Cheyenne and Hubby went with me. Unfortunately Hubby SO disliked the movie that I have thus made up my mind that I will be heading out to the other two movies on my own at a matinee because of all of those nice transportation problems I have with WHEELS and just enjoy it all on my own. Or with a few select Pottery friends.

How do you like the above photo? It was taken with my new camera! It is a Nikon Coolpix and, I must admit, I am almost beside myself with excitement and joy! Hubby does not understand how I can be so thrilled with taking pictures of the animals and my feet.

Why my feet? Well, they have a tendency to get where I am going before I do since I am in the chair. So, why not take pictures of before and after a journey? He just pats me on my head and smiles politely.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

One of Those Fantastic Weekends

We need a vacation. Me and Hubby need a vacation and if not us together we need one separately. Our mental and emotional batteries are extremely low, but today we have actually had a wonderfully relaxing day. It was needed beyond belief.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Mid-Way Through

funny pictures of cats with captions
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Today was simply an awesome day of not too many calls at work and having accomplished quite a few tasks on my TO DO list for today. I just can't believe how much those silly lists keep me organized and focused.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Monday, July 06, 2009

And Monday Goes Down

Mondays after long weekends tend to be very bad in my line of work, but today it wasn't bad at all considering. The call flow was not outrageous for most of the day and picked up only around three o'clock this afternoon. This wasn't bad because my shift ends at five o'clock Monday through Thursday.

My voice came and went a lot, as was expected. Around four it came and appears to be staying around, which is awesome, although Hubby (jokingly) says it was quieter earlier.

Earlier today Cheyenne came over and was surfing the 'Net and applying for jobs...and eating Chinese. He brought me some egg drop soup that I drank during break and took him the remains to dole out to the dogs. Sadly, Cheyenne left his own food in the Chinese container box on the floor. My dear sweet Gabby stole it and was eating it right in front of him and he didn't even notice it until he went to retrieve his own and it wasn't there.

Yes, I laughed.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

"darth vader
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Despite the Rain the Beat Goes On

The 4th of July around here ended up being somewhat of a soggy one, but there was fun still had and people were pleased and there was laughter.

Instead of having the festivities over here at the Editorial home, Cheyenne was sort of drafted, along with his garage to host it all. Graciously he accepted and with help from yours truly and RH the garage became a nice place to host a soggy 4th of July party and play games. At one point there was15 people in the garage, which was awesome - because my house would have been cramped to the gills.

However, today am suffering from just a touch of a (hopeful) sinus infection. There isn't any discoloration of sputum so I am not contagious, which is wonderful considering everyone who was over to the party yesterday.

Yesterday I just sat quietly for a moment behind everyone and just observed the smiles, chatter, and laughter. It was magnificent. Hubby put together the grill in the rain, because he decided on being stubborn, but once he was in the garage and drying off with everyone else, his mood improved. Being with everyone gave me a boost of just what I needed: Life!

Friday, July 03, 2009

The Sky Outside My Window Is Blue And I Have A Day Off

Life is good today. Because Independence Day, here in the U.S. also known as The Fourth of July, fell on a Saturday this year, work was magnanimous enough to let us enjoy a three day weekend and give us Friday off. Today. This has led to staying up late last night, sleeping late today, and currently am roaming and writing on the Internet as well as downloading and installing World of Warcraft onto the PC and am hoping to actually get to play it some today.

Not only is there WoW possibility but there is an absence of any other human being in my house today. It is just me and the dogs (plus Jake, Cheyenne's canine) and the cat. Hubby has gone to visit his parents and our nephews and I am relaxing, genuinely, for the first time in months. It feels good. I have needed a quiet day off without stressors of any sort because I think I am having a bout of burn-out on the old job front.

Is six months too short a time to have burn-out on a job position? I am not sure. Still, I love my paycheck enough to keep working and doing the best job I can possibly do for said paycheck. Sometimes it would be nice to have a position where I could take a day off and not have to worry about being fired for it or anything so drastic.

Plus, there are other stressors involved in everything, which I am finally comfortable enough to share - actually, I believe I need to share in order to just keep going on with my . . . life - with everyone and face myself.

A couple of weeks back I went to see Hubby's chiropractor because said person, we'll call him Dr. Krackles, could help keep away the migraines. I am all up for that, so went. Hubby was prepared and took the MRI I had taken in 2003 with me, plus Dr. Krackles also did x-rays himself.

It turns out I have a broken neck and have had one since at least 2003! It is actually a life-threatening injury that if I turn my neck too quickly or am jarred too suddenly I could break my own neck and die instantly. Sobering news to say the least. I informed my GP and rheumatologist and they are discussing the next phase of what to do. I am only 47 so want to keep living, of course, but there are problems with the fusion operation that would need to be done: 1) I have pretty severe osteoporosis because of a lot of different factors and it might not be possible to have the operation done without hurting my neck further and/or killing me; 2) there might not be a facility close enough equipped with the items and surgeons necessary to work on me as I am a brittle arthritic (doctors' terms, not my own) and 3) no one is sure how long the recovery time for the operation would take. Since I am working there is a possibility of having to get off of disability only to go back onto it in order to get over the operation to save my life.

There are a lot of "ifs" floating about with all of this.

The sobering thing, for me at least, is that my neck has been in this condition since at least 2003, which is six years: Why didn't the doctor who was treating me for migraines care enough to tell me about my neck and the possibilities of death? Why does everyone just assume that because I have a disability I am OK with not knowing something or that I am not going to want to get an old injury taken care of? Do doctors only care so much about their paychecks that they really don't care about patients like me? Is it actually feasible and possible that doctors really only want to care for those people "who have their lives in front of them" and can "heal correctly" that they don't give a damn about people like me?

Yeah, there is some latent anger, too. I am working through that at least.

Two of my sisters are saying to quit my job and stay on disability and not worry about working until after the operation. This feels like a dagger in my heart. I am more than just a disability. I am more than someone who needs and should be protected. There are a lot of factors for me to consider here than just going blindly forward to have the operation done. It is a frightening thing to consider.

Hubby is encouraging me "to get my soul right with God" so that if something does happen he won't have to worry about my soul. I understand this concern and have been working on this for many years. I am not perfect and my spiritual journey is on-going and has its ups and downs, but I don't want to be a pretentious prick either trying to bribe God to let me live in at least the physical condition I am in. With everything that has happened in the past six years, I know God has been keeping me alive and taking care of me!

Despite having this knowledge (it is something I can't forget about) I have managed to be happy. I have begun working seriously again on the writing and telling my stories. I am making plans for the future and I am thankful for all of the dumb things I have survived and know I will never get to do like ride on a roller coaster.

In many ways this has been an eye-opener. I have always known I was going to die. I have always known each one of us who are currently alive are slowly aging and dying. Still, having it told to you that your death is imminent at any given moment or time makes you enjoy like and consider it just a little more as being precious.