Drats!

I have been trying to upload a photo from my phone for a while now. Unfortunately I am going to have to give up on it - another day another attempt.

Today I am sick. I have been sick for a couple of days now, and it has been bad enough for me to take off work. Some would say that if I am sick enough to take off work that I should also be sick enough to do nothing at all. I beg to differ: You see there is sick enough to do absolutely nothing, which was yesterday. I slept to the TV yesterday all day long until Hubby came home early because…well, he wasn’t feeling very well either. Today I slept late and have been able to handle a few home-related business things like bills, etc, but as far as dealing with customers and being nice…not such a good idea. My brain cannot think quickly. Still, today is better than yesterday despite the weakness and dizziness and general feeling so bad it takes concentration to hold my head up at times, and relax my shoulders. So, I am better, but not well by a long shot. Tomorrow I will work and do my job and get paid for it. Today I will think, even if it is somewhat slow and apathetic at times.

What am I thinking about? Well, qi gong.

Saturday I went to tai chi for the first time in many, many months. I had to go into the beginners’ class again, but that wasn’t bad because I discovered I remembered more than I thought I did. As usual, we went to breakfast, which I was super ready for, and as we were breaking for the day, I asked Just Bill a simple question that may have just changed everything for me deep down inside. Here is how it went:

Me: Bill, is there a turtle qi gong?
Just Bill: I’m not sure, but not that I know of.
Me: Could one be made?
Just Bill: Of course it could.
Me: Could I do it?
Just Bill: Of course you could!

Before going any further I asked him if he would help me, and he agreed. From that point forward he told me certain key things I needed to keep in mind while coming up with the qi gong form and he said to make certain and write it down. “Write it down and keep an order,” he said.

Instead of jumping straight into the “writing it down” part I have found myself putting a great deal of thought into what needs to be present and in which order; how does the mind relate with the spirit and the breathing, and what should it accomplish.

I am quite serious about creating the turtle qi gong.

Doing this is going to take time and a lot of thought and qi gong practice. There is a great deal to keep in mind while working on the form, and, at the same time, it doesn’t feel overwhelming in the least; it is perfectly in order with me.

Although, I have actually considered getting a turtle, which the husband has not said no to as a matter of fact, because our very large aquarium is sitting very vacant and devoid of fish. The reason I am being hesitant about purchasing said turtle is because a) I don’t want to imprison a creature unnecessarily; and b) would having a turtle around actually help me with the form at this point?

In firmly deciding to do this something inside me has changed. A threshold has been crossed, and I am not exactly sure what type it was or what even to call it, but it has been crossed and it was a significant step (for me).

There is part of me that would like to say I have crossed into the “martial arts” world, but that isn’t exactly true. I cannot stand (or sit) here and proclaim that to the world and especially to myself. I can say that this feels right. This feels as if I am on the right path with my health and mind and body and that finally I have a chance to make a difference in someone’s life other than my own if I do this well. I may never live to see its benefits for others, but with hope, prayer, and a lot of hard work, others will also get benefits from what I do with this. Plus, I am also not dumb enough to say this qi gong form will be created in a day, week, month, or even year. It is going to take a while and I am going to have to practice qi gong steadily and tai chi. I am going to have to practice standing meditation and I am going to have to be diligent about so many other things to keep this moving forward properly.

Surprisingly, I am looking forward to it all. Finally, all of the pain I endure has a purpose and is not just a useless thing bent on destroying me and others.

Peter Graves of "Mission Impossible" No Longer with Us

Death comes to us all, but it is always surprising when some people pass away because you always expect them (unrealistically) to be around. It was a big surprise for me to get up today and learn that Peter Graves had passed away Sunday, 03/14/2010. Jim Phelps was always supposed to be around to save the day when no one else could, or would.



I watched the Mission Impossible series when I was a little girl, and then in re-runs in the 1970s as a teenager because it was one of the coolest shows out there, next to Star Trek of course. It was because of Mission Impossible that I got my first taste for the thriller genre and not only loved to read it, but loved to write it as well.



One of the more interesting things I discovered in reading his bio this morning was the fact that he was Marshal Matt Dillon's younger brother! That's right, James Arness was his older brother. He changed his name so he wouldn't be confused with his older brother by taking his grandfather's last name. In this picture here you can actually see a family resemblance to Matt Dillon/James Arness, but I never saw it before until I read the article and actually did a good examination of the picture.

Does anyone know if James Arness is still living? Everything I've researched on the 'Net so far says he is, and if this is so, that would make him 86 years old. Rock on Marshall Dillon.

For the complete bio of Peter Graves, click the article title above.

Not the Day Expected

There were quite a few plans made for today. I had scheduled a WHEELS bus to take me to Church and then take me on to Barns & Noble where I would enjoy several wonderful hours of not doing all that much except only the things I wanted such as roam the stacks, purchase a lap desk, and blog and write to my heart's content with a cafe mocha at my side and a sugar cookie chaser.

It didn't happen.

Why didn't it happen?

My back went out. Just like that. Well, not exactly “just like that” because I lay down last night to go to sleep and shifted to get comfortable and all of a sudden there was searing pain down my back to my tail bone and all the goodness of the day just vanished as if it had never been. It was sad, really, and depressing.

This happening caused the husband to go to Church alone. He then proceeded to cancel his plans he had made for the rest of the day to come home and take care of me. Can you spell guilt​​? Yeah, I have felt really guilty today because of my back.

Currently it is better thanks to meds and qi gong. I did several exercises I had learned in class, including the first part of the standing section I had attempted to do. There was pain, but in gathering the qi there was some additional strength and protection that wasn't there before.

As I collected the energy I imagined that the energy, the qi (pronounced “chi”) was going to the injured, painful portion of m spine and was surrounding it like a golden bandage of strength that was reinforcing and protective. With this in place, I was able to make it from the bedroom to my wheelchair and then, once I was on my feet to do the standing portion, I again reinforced this image with more qi collection and even though the pain was there and intense, I was able to stand for almost five minutes and do what needed to be done. My back popped quite loudly at one point and has felt better. Hopefully this will continue. The feeling better part.

The remainder of the day today has been spent playing video game demos and just relaxing. The husband is currently playing Halo ODS and is enjoying himself immensely.

This week is going to be filled with a couple of doctor's appointments and, with any luck, a trip at last to B&N where there will be some relaxation and writing happening. In fact, I am considering adding a couple of B&N days to the schedule just because I have tried so diligently to get to B&N and wasn't able to get there. Since the time has changed, I will use it to get to where I need to go and when I need to get there. Plus, any where is a better writing place than my house at the moment. I need a change of scenery like you cannot believe or perceive.

In Love With Qi Gong

Qi Gong literally means “energy work” and I have never found something that satisfies something so deep in my life. It follows perfectly with my faith as an Orthodox Christian because both of them are lifelong entities you learn.

Recently I learned that this coming Thursday was the last qi gong class that would be taught and I find myself almost in tears each and every time I think about it, because this truly is something that matters to me.

I have studied different internal qi gong methods on my own, independently, but the pieces never completely fell into place until the previous class and then this intermediate class. Finally there was a real live person I could ask questions of and get answers from. As I began practicing anew, I have found myself feeling physically better, as well as emotionally and psychologically more relaxed in tense situations.

Because of qi gong I have come to the acceptance that what I am currently doing for a living is actually hurting me in more ways than I can explain, even though it is a job I can do. There have been some days, especially here recently when the qi gong exercises I have learned have kept me calm until the end of my shift when I can then do more in depth exercises that actually help me to release the day, which then leads into prayer and more settling.

My husband is in love with tai chi chuan, as you all know, and it is fantastic, but it didn’t suit me. Qi gong does. It isn’t that qi gong is not a “martial” art – something that can be used to defend yourself with if need be (this is a very loose interpretation and explanation) – because, as I have noticed, thanks to a statement Bill made at dinner after qi gong, that any particular movement learned can be a martial movement. I am not a pacifist in any shape or form, but have always been made to feel that any true martial art is beyond me except for maybe tai chi chuan. It also isn’t that qi gong is so out there it cannot be grasped by everyone, or anyone. The main reason it suits me, I realize, is that it is completely internal.

By this, I mean: it is me that is affecting me by reaching out into the Universe, to God if you will, to help myself. No one can take this away from me or alter what I know about it or how it makes me feel. It is as private as my faith. It is almost as important as my faith is to me. It is inside me and, most importantly, I am seeing and feeling results. Serious results.

I bet you’re wondering what type of results, right? Well, here is just a very short list I will share with you:
 My appetite and food desires have drastically changed. I love food. I mean I love food. Food is my drug of choice if I must be completely honest with myself. Nothing makes me happier than to cook, eat, and enjoy good food with good friends. I don’t want the same foods as I did. I have actually begun to listen to my body and realize that I need certain things, such as nuts. I have also begun an orange kick. Even though the oranges can hurt my gall bladder, if I eat these things in moderation I feel better deep down. Even going out to eat my taste has changed – soups are at the top of the list for me of late. And, when I have ignored my body and just picked something from the menu just to eat because I am hungry, it hasn’t worked out very well for me digestive wise, or feeling wise. I know when I am eating something I really shouldn’t, and I accept I must pay for it.
 I am very aware of how physically strong or weak I am and what needs to be improved. I know this doesn’t sound like very much, but, trust me, it’s huge! Up until now I have known I needed to be stronger here or there in my body, but only on a surface level. Now I understand just how important it is as a whole, and exactly which body parts need to be worked on. Another thing that is different is the fact that instead of just putting it all off, I actually work on it and put a good effort into improving and not just ‘trying’ to improve.
 I feel more connected to myself, and thus to the people around me, and thus to God. I hear my body and what it needs. I also hear what others are saying and needing from me or for themselves. I also hear, through reading the Bible and attending Church, what God needs of me and what I need from God.
Qi gong hasn’t answered all of my problems, and in some ways it has just presented me with more questions while presenting me with a more clearly marked path or direction I need to go for the different answers.

Don’t misunderstand either, qi gong isn’t something that teaches you to be completely calm, but it does give you a major avenue in calming down once you are upset or relieving the stress you find in yourself. It doesn’t make you a guru of peace and love, but it does give you a tool to use in obtaining a better understanding of what your need for you to be healthier, happier, and more balanced in so many different areas of yourself. But, this is what I get out of qi gong. Someone else may get something completely different from it. You’ll never know until you try qi gong. It doesn’t matter how good your body is, or how strong or weak it is – qi gong will give you a tool to improve your life.

And Bill, you realize I’m going to be hounding you with questions now about when and where the next class is going to be. You continue to teach me my dear friend, and I will learn…even though it may take me a bit to wrap my head around some concepts.
In Love with Qi Gong



Qi Gong literally means “energy work” and I have never found something that satisfies something so deep in my life. It follows perfectly with my faith as an Orthodox Christian because both of them are lifelong entities you learn.

Recently I learned that this coming Thursday was the last qi gong class that would be taught and I find myself almost in tears each and every time I think about it, because this truly is something that matters to me.

I have studied different internal qi gong methods on my own, independently, but the pieces never completely fell into place until the previous class and then this intermediate class. Finally there was a real live person I could ask questions of and get answers from. As I began practicing anew, I have found myself feeling physically better, as well as emotionally and psychologically more relaxed in tense situations.

Because of qi gong I have come to the acceptance that what I am currently doing for a living is actually hurting me in more ways than I can explain, even though it is a job I can do. There have been some days, especially here recently when the qi gong exercises I have learned have kept me calm until the end of my shift when I can then do more in depth exercises that actually help me to release the day, which then leads into prayer and more settling.

My husband is in love with tai chi chuan, as you all know, and it is fantastic, but it didn’t suit me. Qi gong does. It isn’t that qi gong is not a “martial” art – something that can be used to defend yourself with if need be (this is a very loose interpretation and explanation) – because, as I have noticed, thanks to a statement Bill made at dinner after qi gong, that any particular movement learned can be a martial movement. I am not a pacifist in any shape or form, but have always been made to feel that any true martial art is beyond me except for maybe tai chi chuan. It also isn’t that qi gong is so out there it cannot be grasped by everyone, or anyone. The main reason it suits me, I realize, is that it is completely internal.

By this, I mean: it is me that is affecting me by reaching out into the Universe, to God if you will, to help myself. No one can take this away from me or alter what I know about it or how it makes me feel. It is as private as my faith. It is almost as important as my faith is to me. It is inside me and, most importantly, I am seeing and feeling results. Serious results.

I bet you’re wondering what type of results, right? Well, here is just a very short list I will share with you:
 My appetite and food desires have drastically changed. I love food. I mean I love food. Food is my drug of choice if I must be completely honest with myself. Nothing makes me happier than to cook, eat, and enjoy good food with good friends. I don’t want the same foods as I did. I have actually begun to listen to my body and realize that I need certain things, such as nuts. I have also begun an orange kick. Even though the oranges can hurt my gall bladder, if I eat these things in moderation I feel better deep down. Even going out to eat my taste has changed – soups are at the top of the list for me of late. And, when I have ignored my body and just picked something from the menu just to eat because I am hungry, it hasn’t worked out very well for me digestive wise, or feeling wise. I know when I am eating something I really shouldn’t, and I accept I must pay for it.
 I am very aware of how physically strong or weak I am and what needs to be improved. I know this doesn’t sound like very much, but, trust me, it’s huge! Up until now I have known I needed to be stronger here or there in my body, but only on a surface level. Now I understand just how important it is as a whole, and exactly which body parts need to be worked on. Another thing that is different is the fact that instead of just putting it all off, I actually work on it and put a good effort into improving and not just ‘trying’ to improve.
 I feel more connected to myself, and thus to the people around me, and thus to God. I hear my body and what it needs. I also hear what others are saying and needing from me or for themselves. I also hear, through reading the Bible and attending Church, what God needs of me and what I need from God.
Qi gong hasn’t answered all of my problems, and in some ways it has just presented me with more questions while presenting me with a more clearly marked path or direction I need to go for the different answers.

Don’t misunderstand either, qi gong isn’t something that teaches you to be completely calm, but it does give you a major avenue in calming down once you are upset or relieving the stress you find in yourself. It doesn’t make you a guru of peace and love, but it does give you a tool to use in obtaining a better understanding of what your need for you to be healthier, happier, and more balanced in so many different areas of yourself. But, this is what I get out of qi gong. Someone else may get something completely different from it. You’ll never know until you try qi gong. It doesn’t matter how good your body is, or how strong or weak it is – qi gong will give you a tool to improve your life.

And Bill, you realize I’m going to be hounding you with questions now about when and where the next class is going to be. You continue to teach me my dear friend, and I will learn…even though it may take me a bit to wrap my head around some concepts.

Have A Light Spirit Today

It is rainy here, gloomy, and my body could be feeling better, but my spirit is light today.