Proof of Strength

Currently I am going through a phase I like to call "Getting Into Shape Or Else." There is a serious feeling for me that if I don't get in shape now while I can, there might not come another chance for me to do so. It just feels right - now is the time to become the person, physically as well as writerly, I've always wanted to become. So, for the past week B and I have trekked to the gym to work out. B doesn't work out all that much it seems, but he helps me work out without a problem. We are even talking with a trainer, and when we can get the money up, we're getting this one guy to help me train because he is positive, strong, and I sort of trust him. I have determined to get in shape and now I am going to do my best.

Yesterday I was brave and got on a machine I've been afraid of for centuries it feels like - the leg curl machine. For those of you unfamiliar with this, let me describe it for your amusement. It is a bench that is wider at the base than what would be considered its "top" and in the center, or just a little lower, it is raised, like a cat does when it stretches. You lay on your stomach on this machine and weights are put on your legs for you to lift. I have been terrified of this machine for ages because I couldn't figure out how I would get onto it.

Much to my surprise, getting onto it wasn't as bad an ordeal as I had imagined it would be. In fact, it was much easier. I lifted very little weight, but did three sets of 12 reps which I was impressed with. When all was done and I was sweating, it was time to get up. Terror hit. Up. Down hadn't been that much of a problem. When you think of it, "down" is never really that hard a problem. You can walk "down" a river bank much easier, on the whole, than you can back up the thing, and falling "down" was never that hard, but getting back up, well that takes a while for me, or not at all.

OK, the damage was done and I had to get up off the machine. B was being more supportive than he has ever been, and was right there beside me the entire time with my crutches in easy reach.

I backed off the machine, pressed up, and felt my lower back tighten and then, Wow! I was standing up! I had done it without worry, without struggle and I felt good! Of course I quickly reached for my crutches because the floor seemed to be calling my body and the crutches keeps he floor at bay, if you get my meaning. But, I'd done it! Not B helping me up, but ME, I'd done it on my own! Do you know what this means? It means I am really getting stronger!

I was so enthused I even got on the scales to see how much I weigh. I'm not going to spread what the number is, not until it is a lower figure, and will only share it with B and the trainer. So, there is much to work toward.

You want to know the really surprising thing?

I think I'm going to do it this time!