Looking Out at the Sunshine

Today is Saturday. It is a day of rest. Both I and B need it. This past bout of sickness has worn both of us out even though I am the one who was ill. It really does take a lot out of a person to care for someone who is sick. I didn't realize how much it really took out of you until I began caring for my Mom before she died. It was really tough. Not only do you have the physical part to worry about such as medications and taking blood pressures at prescribed times and tons of other technical things to remember, but you also try and keep the spirits of the person who is sick upbeat, no matter what the inevitable outcome is.

You can never let yourself get down in front of them either. You can never let yourself get upset with them, too. What would it do to their morale if you did? So you bottle up all of the pain until you are alone for a few hours and you write it out (which is what I tried to do in my case) or you cry it out (which is something I did quite often). B is a strong man but sometimes I am simply amazed at what all he does for me without complaint. So, today, I have decided, is his day. Whatever he wants to do is fine with me. The sun is shining and it is a brilliantly warm autumn day. Currently he is playing Halo on the X-Box.

Yes, whatever he wishes today I will comply with because he deserves it, because I love him, because I am grateful, because it is good seeing him smile this way.