I Miss My Keyboard

Ahhh, I am home. *relaxes happily before the keyboard and screen*

I miss my keyboard when I am at school. I can type on their keyboards, of course. My speed hasn't decreased in the least, but this is my keyboard and it is set perfectly for me. It feels good beneath my fingers and my hands automatically go to the keys. Many hours have been spent here and, I suspect, many more will be logged before this keyboard is given in for a new model. It is familiar beneath my fingers like an old friend. I need old friends today.

The saga begins.
Promptly at seven o'clock this morning, I called Wheels to update my ride schedule and discovered there wasn't anything for me for the entire month of July. Yes, you could say there was a moment or three of panic. The dispatcher and I went through the schedule quickly and we made sure I was going to be picked up from school, although getting there before eight was going to be an impossibility. Luckily Hubby had not left for the office so he ran me to school and then went on to work.

Once at school the panic subsided a little, but something felt off. I felt off, out of place or, more correctly, sync. The first class of the day went off without problems, as did the remainders of the classes. Lunch was quite pleasant, although I did feel somewhat rushed. Even when I went into the small bookstore to purchase the necessary items I needed -- folders, 0.7 mm lead for my pencil, an eraser -- the feeling of rushed-ness was still present, still pushing me to be to my class earlier and earlier. It was so strong I had to actually sit still and force myself to make a couple of much needed calls before going on to my classroom (it also didn't help that it was math).

When my class was over and I was back upstairs speaking with Cat, the Receptionist, I felt as if I was really just getting to school to begin my day, not waiting for my ride to take me home and that the day was already over (at least that phase of it).

And so we relax and begin anew.
So, now I am home. I have relaxed some. Eaten some. Drank some good cool tea. The dogs welcomed me happily and everything feels once more to have a place and everything is in its correct place. The keyboard beneath my fingers is my own, my old familiar friend, and the dogs are curled around my wheelchair in their happy, familiar places. All is right with the world.

Even though I cannot undo what was done today, I can permit myself a new beginning. A start over. Normally I would be quite uptight about this "start over" mentality because I am not beginning the day again. Why am I not so uptight about it? Because I choose not to be upset and, quite honestly, I am looking at it like tai chi.

In tai chi class when we screw up or forget, we start over. Sometimes it is from the beginning. Sometimes from the very end, or middle. We make sure we go from one move to the next and if we screw up on that move we do it over and over and over.... You get the idea. It would seem like a big headache to do things over, but, really, once you let go of all of the hang ups about being perfect from the very beginning, it is just something that needs to be done to move to the next, newest movement. Starting over gives you practical practice of patience.

Patience is not my strong point, but I'm getting better. And today, well, today has been "off" for one reason or another. So, I'll let myself feel good about my accomplishments from the morning, and I'll let myself refresh and renew for the remainder of the afternoon. The evening, I figure, will take care of itself.

Isn't it amazing how you learn something some place else in your life and it actually makes it into other areas positively?

Oh, and I have not forgotten any of you! I have little things written I will type in here just as soon as possible. Sadly, the computers at school do not appreciate Blogger.com as much as we do. 'Tis a pity.