Today and Tomorrow

The sun is shining beautifully outside the windows and doors. The thermometer says it is 63*F and tall, fluffy clouds with dark bottoms pass by as if saying, "Not yet. Not just yet." Hubby has gone to visit one of our friends who is recouperating from a long illness brought on by a surgery, and I am here alone with the dogs, computer, television and the radio. I don't feel sad today. (This is probably due to being out in the sunshine yesterday and having such a wonderful day.) I haven't done any homework yet, but there is suddenly energy for that and this is a great thing compared to how I have been feeling and looking at life.

Today has not been as physically good a day as yesterday was, but you can't have all good days. My arthritis has been acting up something horrible and last night I barely made it to bed and when I did I was awake most of the night because of pain. Sadly, I also kept Hubby awake who needs his rest as well. However, he managed to get up and get to Church and Bible study while I recouperated and rested up the best I could. It took a while for me to struggle out of bed and then into my shoes and then onto my feet, and by the time all of these things had been accomplished, Hubby was home as I was trying to make it into the hallway from the bedroom.

As each step caused pain and discomfort I realized just how much had changed in the past few days. No, I don't mean physically. These sorts of days come and go and you have to learn how to deal with them if it is possible, and it is usually possible. What had changed was how I felt about it all. Today is a bad physical day, but emotionally it is still good. I won't be this way continuously and when the weather decides to do what it is thinking about doing my joints will adjust and get better and I will move with a little more freedom. Today I am not feeling down and depressed and cursing my life because this is the one I was given, and I know more than anyone else just how imperfect it really is. Today I can see my future ahead of me and I can accept it with smiles and acceptance. Joy might not be overly present, but it will return. Who knows, maybe joy will be here tomorrow.

Today I can look at the struggles ahead and just place one foot in front of the other mentally and physically and trudge forward. It is a slow progress, but it is progress. I am no longer just running in place or fighting the mud to stand up: I have stood up with God's help. And I am on the road again. I am not running, but I am progressing and going towards my goals of having a good life with my Hubby and friends.

Today there is pain. Tomorrow there will be pain and the day after. So much of it gets everyone down at times, and I am no different. But, today I am standing up emotionally and mentally and I am moving forward. Sometimes the only thing you can do is move forward with the thoughts if not so much with the body, and maybe if you move forward enough with your thoughts your body can start to catch up, too.