Uphill Battles and Streaming Radio

Several weeks ago I began looking for a part time job. The extra money could help and having some work experience was a major plus. Two weeks ago I applied for a receptionist position. It was perfect - part time, good pay, and the hours could not have been any better. The human resources person who called me, let's call him "Adam", and was gushing over my resume' and cover letter. He also said my phone voice was perfect for the job and that I practically had the position. All I needed to do was to come into his office and sign a couple of papers and I could begin work within a couple of days.

I made arrangements for the WHEELS van to take me out to where I needed to be. I asked for Adam and he was pointed out to me. He saw the wheelchair and his eyes just shut down. He gave me the papers he had told me I needed to sign. I signed them and was promptly told that he thought the receptionist position had been filled and he did not believe there were any more positions available, but he would keep my resume on file in case something opened up. Yeah, not going to hold my breath there buddy boy. You can't fool someone who has been through the sudden change of heart once they actually see you.

The really sad thing is that I didn't need to be able to walk in order to answer telephones and direct people to where they needed to go. In fact, it would have been better for the people to see me in the wheelchair because the position I was applying for was at a hospital.

No matter how often it happens or how much you tell yourself things will get better and that there are more jobs out there, it hurts. It hurts deep down, and it is a pain that attacks your self-esteem and confidence. It also attacks that place where hope dwells and makes you not want to trust anyone, especially strangers, and strangers in positions of power, like potential employers.

However, I did not cry once I was home. I did not become outwardly upset at all. I told myself all of the platitudes of more jobs are out there and someone would see what a good employee they had before them and so much more. It did not help. Hubby added his voice to everything, as well as friends and even my priest. It did not help. Having a virus this weekend did not help either, but it did get me to thinking about all of the positive things I do have going for me.

I have not applied to any more jobs since that one rejection...until today. I sucked it up and settled in and found a streaming local radio station for music and applied for jobs. Keep going. This is the current motto. Keep going.