Saturday, December 19, 2009

One of Those Quiet Snowy Reflective Saturdays

I promised someone quite dear to me that I would begin updating here more often than not at all. Yesterday I spent a good portion of the evening wondering exactly what I was going to write about today and debated many topics; however, with all the talk of snow and snowstorms my mind wandered around to peacefulness and being relaxed, which is what the new qi gong class I am taking is all about, as well as movement.

The very first class ended with me so relaxed I was positive. Positive I was going to complete the course. Positive I was going to complete all of the Christmas knitting projects. Positive that everything I felt that was "bad" with me, well, really wasn't that bad.

All week long I practiced what I had learned for ten minutes every day before work, or after work, and noticed that I was indeed more relaxed when work was over and the knot in my shoulders went down considerably after qi gong practice. When the second meeting came around and more was added, again I felt positive and relaxed by the end of class and felt more prepared to face the coming weekend and week (we practice on Thursday evenings).

Yesterday I practiced after work and still, for some reason felt stressed. It as mostly due to the husband being a husband and changing all of the plans I had made for the most perfect room in the house to me: a craft room. Last night I went in there, before it gets changed, and just knitted and practiced qi gong and felt the stresses just slipped away. Positive thoughts and feelings came back, and then, suddenly, I found myself praying and being even more relaxed and even more positive. Then, in one flashing moment of clarity I understood exactly why the craft room and how its arrangement mattered to be on such a deep level - besides just being a silly craft room filled with yarn and all sorts of knitting and spinning items:

The craft room is my peaceful room. It is situated in the middle of my house with bedroom and office on one side, and kitchen and living room on the other side. These rooms I usually share with more than one person and even though I can usually knit while watching television or knit when I am working (except here lately) and still get what I need to do done, but the enjoyment of it is not as great as sitting in the craft room with all of my supplies present, quiet, and the window blinds open just so much allowing the natural light to come in and join me in the projects I am doing. Everything is arranged per my wishes and the walls are waiting for me to adorn them and the spinning wheel is waiting for more roving so I can spin in there away from so many distractions and just be at peace with myself and with God. Surprisingly, not even the dogs join me in the craft room, but will lie outside in the hall as contentedly as if they were at my feet.

The husband, seeing a practical need of having to move some furniture has decided the only place he can put said furniture is in the craft room until he can "get the time" to move said furniture into our storage building. We all know what this really means: He isn't going to move it again once it is in the craft room. Because more items are coming into the craft room everything that was done for me and that I did will change and I felt quite as if one of the more precious spaces to me was being violated and my wishes and desires were not being respected. (Yes, part of this is true, but I understand the husband's reasonings.) Even though the craft room is going to be crowded and it is going to be quite stuffy I have managed, in part, to come to an understanding about it and have made plans without the husband being present to get the soon-to-be-empty furniture into the building and correct the craft room back into the way it should be.

However, I couldn't have permitted myself to come to a conclusion and plan about all of this if I hadn't first been relaxed enough to where I could think and look at the situation with a more critical and less emotional eye. Yes, I am still quite upset about it, but resigned now, and have a very large determination to get my room back to where it should be: A place to knit, spin, pray, and do qi gong in peace.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good for you girlfriend. I am checking as I promised. Patience, perseverance, practice. Have a peaceful holiday.