Thursday, November 24, 2005

On A Tipsy Note

It is a little late, and I am a little tipsy. Not drunk. Just pleasantly buzzing. No more for me. Even though we haven't eaten dinner or gone to bed yet, I suppose it is officially Thanksgiving. How odd. It still doesn't feel like Thanksgiving. There isn't a sense of joy coursing through me and happy expectations of the day to come. My husband is off from work until Monday. This is good. This is about the best thing that could be happening. Another good thing is that I finally finished the Baldur's Gate video game. I feel accomplished in a geeky sort of way. But it still doesn't feel like a holiday to me. Not really. This makes me feel sad and, somehow, quite determined to enjoy myself. However, this year I don't think I will push it over-hard to be in the Thanksgiving mood, or the Christmas mood. I will let it happen and keep trying to feel glee about the season. I understand why the suicide rate goes up around the holidays: there is much to look forward to, but when something is missing, or someone they are a very difficult thing to take. No, I am not thinking about suicide, it is just - I can understand it. It may be because I am a little tipsy. It may just be that I understand. Hopefully this feeling, or lack there of, will pass relatively quickly and Christmas will be the joy it has always.

No comments: