Tuesday, February 15, 2005


OK, many of you who have been reading for a while know the background of the condition of my nerves. For those of you who don't, a quick recap. See, in just a little over a year I lost my Mom, my Dad, my best friend of 20 years, my cat of 12-13 years, so things went quickly down hill as far as my nerves are concerned. They were so bad for a while I was having chest pains and my body and I were convinced I was having a heart-attack, but I really wasn't. So, am on some daily medication for my nerves and a little something extra for when my chest hurts. I haven't had to take the "little something extra" for quite a while because I've been handing things quite well and am actually getting out of the dull-drums quite happily (and with much relief). . . . That is until today. Today I had to take something, but, in all honesty, I don't know why my body reacted the way it did.

My older sister, "Jade" (for now), called to tell me one of our cousins had passed away. He was suffering from cancer and was in so much pain. I prayed for him, but wasn't really close to him. It was sad to know he had passed on, but it was also good in a way he wasn't punishing any more. Somehow, after I hung up the phone with her, my chest started hurting horribly and I had to take my little something extra and go lie down for a little while. This, of course, knocked me out of the rest of my day. It was quite annoying to say the least.

I love Jade, dearly. I do. But there is something about us that makes me all nervous. I don't know if I am just waiting for even more bad news than what she gives me or if it just reminds me of when she called to tell me Daddy was gone. Honestly, I don't believe it to be the latter.

One thing, for sure, is I can't make her understand how losing Mommy and Daddy has affected me and my life. She says, "She was my Mommy, too." Yes, I know, and I'm not trying to make her feel bad, but she needs to understand not every relationship is the same.

OK, time for me to lie down some more.

Fiction tomorrow.

1 comment:

Alex said...

Just thought I'd let you know that the older we get the more everyone around us has a growing tendency to drop off the old conveyer belt of life. You may not believe it now but you are completely normal!!!