Friday, March 18, 2005

Blue Sky Thoughts

Today has been one of those odd days. One of those days where everything seems to fit into place and I can actually see it in some fashion or the other. Maybe it is because the sun is shining brightly, it is warm outside, and the air smells like Spring.

Because of all the warmth and sun I've gone outside with the dogs a couple of times (missed a couple of phone calls doing that) and have even made my way into the back yard itself for perusal of the ground and seeing where I would like to attempt to put some flowers and plants this year. I say "attempt" because I have never made it in either year I've planned it. This year, however, everything looks as if it is falling into place for me: I have the power wheelchair now, a good ramp that I can get into and out of the house in ease with, and there is space enough in the places I've always wanted to put some flowers where I can maneuver my wheelchair in a good modicum of peace and loads of safety. Now all that remains is to decide what I'm going to plant (not much this year - this is my "break in" year for seeing how to do things in the planting world again).

Feeling so close to Spring and Summer, my best seasons physically, and seeing just how close I am to actually planting things, has lifted my spirits in a way I truly cannot express. In a way it is sort of like getting a natural 20 on a much needed roll (at least some of you will understand it, for the rest of you, I will explain later). It all just feels so light to me and it has been a loooooonnnnggggg time since I've felt like this. Truly years and years. It feels, deep down, like something clicked into place inside my soul while I was actually outside in the yard. It wasn't out of place totally, just a little off-kilter and now it isn't. Now I can breathe and feel good and look forward to seasons without any regret. It is an odd sensation for me, yet one I feel so much right now I had to share.

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