Thursday, June 14, 2007


Yesterday was the day I went to Cardinal Hill to receive my diet. The "excitement" I had been feeling for most of the week regarding said diet slowly deteriorated into a little un-excited as I saw Nutritionist walking toward me with her happy smile.

Despite what she does, Nutritionist is one of those people that has an infectious smile to go along with her lean body. She works at keeping her body, you can tell, but she has no qualms where "over weight" people are concerned. To her, I believe, their bodies just haven't been fed properly or they haven't had the ability to move and keep moving. Everyone must eat, and the food must be really good to eat, which she also addresses with that happy, ready smile. We went into a small conference room and I received my pyramid -- the food pyramid changed, which really surprised me -- and we went over a few recipes. Surprisingly, she didn't ask me to "give up" anything such as coffee and chocolate. Sadly, if she had requested those two things from me I doubt I would be counting the calories I am at the moment.

Today is Day 1 on the diet. I have had 590 calories, which leaves me with 1010 calories left for the day. Isn't it amazing I have so many left for the day? Making myself eat is going to be the super important thing here. I am not supposed to go more than three hours without eating. Why? In order to keep my metabolism going you have to feed it. It needs energy in order to work properly. Sadly, I have not been eating right. Actually, there have been days when I haven't eaten at all and this does nothing to help you lose weight, only keep it, and add more on to you. I have known this for quite a while, but there is this block in my head at times (yes, I am a blockhead) that doesn't listen to the good things. Everyone does it I've noticed, just on different topics, my topic is food and eating.

Since going to Cardinal Hill and going to tai chi I have discovered, or re-discovered a new love for myself, as well as a new respect. It feels good. It feels...different. The respect I have for myself is far different from when I was younger -- this respect comes from having done far too much and hurt myself in the process, as well as not having done enough and hurt myself in the process. One was because I looked upon myself as super-important; the others was because I didn't believe myself important enough. Now I have a moderate amount of respect, I think. I can't do everything I want to do, no one can, but I can do a good amount of it. And on those days when things aren't so wonderful, or right, or good, well, those are just days when I can look at myself now and smile, because it is simply a "bad day" and not a "bad me." It has taken me years to figure this one out. On some things I am a slow learner.

And I can have popcorn on my diet!

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