Thursday, May 31, 2007

And Life Progresses

The more this new life progresses, the more I am slowly beginning to realize that in order to have a life in this modern age and time you have to fight for the slow-down time, the quiet time to regroup and process what has gone on in the day.

Today was one of those regrouping days for me. Hubby went to his job (*happy dance of joy*) and I was left to my own endeavors and entertainments. Since my left leg is currently not happy being a part of my body, I let myself rest and relax and remain in the bed for quite a while. Normally this phase would have been looked upon with great joy and excitement. But this is not my "normal" any more and just laying there caused me much boredom so that when I did expel myself from the bed I was...happier.

Somewhere along the way I have become quite an active person. How it happened is quite easy to follow, realizing it has happened and how it helps to make me feel active and a part of life is harder to see -- although I do enjoy it. This enjoyment of it is quite a surprise on my part.

Once up and about I began my day and found writing to be quite an exhilarating event. The words progressed and the ending of the story came a little clearer into view. Of course, the ending I glimpse now can easily change. Writing is like that -- always changing -- so that when you think you have found the ending in reality you may have only found one of many possibilities of an ending. The central thread may be there, but other things change, grow, mature, or sometimes, which is much rarer for me these days, it becomes even more simple.

n though a great amount of writing and thinking was accomplished, there was also great moments of just sitting and reading. However, I didn't get to my knitting like I had hoped. The story I am currently reading, Perfume by Patrick Suskind was just too good to put down. A book like this one makes me remember why I love good stories. It is interesting, descriptive, and the story is spooky and creepy in all of the right places. Although you can pretty much guess what is going to happen, getting there is half the fun with this one. However, it is not for the squeamish or those who have problems with psychological thrillers. Perfume is both of these and something else, something I can't put my finger on descriptively.

So, instead of picking up my knitting needles I read. And I enjoyed my day without a husband under foot and, I am sure, he enjoyed being at work instead of at home. However, once he was home, the pace of life picked up considerably because we were heading to the Kentucky Horse Park for qigong and tai chi.

Doing tai chi (I missed the qigong section, but plan on making this up next week) outside under the shade of trees with horses and birds all about helped relax my very soul. Although I am doing tai chi in my wheelchair, there is still movement and I can also feel my energy rise and move with more fluidity than it has for quite a while.

Our instructor is a small woman with a soothing voice (haven't come up with a nickname for her just yet) patiently went over the beginning moves and answered the few questions we had -- there will probably be more as the class progresses -- and somehow this encouraged me.

JustBill said to "jump in the middle" and today it felt as if I really had done so. The acceptance of yesterday continued on through today with the tai chi. It was almost spiritual in its peace for me.

Now it is late and tomorrow is a PT day since I had another appointment and couldn't do pool Wednesday. Before that, however, is another day filled with writing. Somewhere in there, though, the knitting is going to be added.

Yes, down time is very important when life becomes so fast paced, especially when you aren't used to it. I don't want to burn myself out on this new life before it has completely born fruit. Some how I believe I am not going to "burn out" this time. Why? Maybe because I am older and don't feel so possessed to make the most out of it. Or maybe, for the first time, I can honestly say I am going to make the most out of it -- my way.

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