Thursday, January 17, 2008

Something Different For Me

Since moving to the new house something has happened to me: I have become a housewife with a clean desire. There is something inside me keeping me from using the word "obsession" because I am not really sure what is going on qualifies as an obsession.

At the old house there was a lot going on there and, quite honestly, both Hubby and I had given up on trying to keep the house clean. Why? Because it was falling apart. The neighborhood was depressing, and, even though people say it doesn't matter "where" you live, it genuinely DOES matter. It also seemed that the old house held on to all of the negative energy of things that had happened and no matter how much you cleaned the place simply would not brighten or lighten. There was so much darkness there that it pervaded the interior and affected the occupants, no matter how happy you were as a person.

However, since moving to the new house, things were immediately different. I began cleaning from day one and haven't stopped. The house is filled with a lightness and brightness that encourages you to keep it that way, and, if possible, improve upon it. Even on gloomy, rainy days such as today, once the blinds are opened, the rooms lighten and it doesn't feel quite so gloomy inside (the house or the person).

I have tried with every ounce of extra energy I have had to make certain everything had a place and everything remained in its place. Hubby has problems with this concept sort of, but he is indeed better than before. Being sick last week and not having enough energy or strength to do the daily routine of cleaning made me feel even worse. Yesterday there was some time and energy left to me, so I did a bit of cleaning and organizing and a weight I hadn't realized was present lifted noticeably off of my shoulders and the kitchen virtually came to life ... again.

This desire to have a beautiful, warm, happy home has also given me a deep love for the show How Clean Is Your House? which comes on BBC-America. The premise of the show is that the Queens of Clean, Aggie MacKenzie and Kim Woodburn, find the worst, dirtiest houses in Britain and give them a cleaning make-over and teach house cleaning at the same time. Many of their house cleaning tips are "green" or are environmentally friendly. The people whose houses had gotten into such messes are just like everyone else in the world-having too much to do, having depression over how their house looks, and not knowing how to keep it clean or even where to begin to get it back into order.

Part of me likes to watch the show just to be able to say, "At least my house wasn't that bad." The greater part that enjoys watching the show, however, is the part that sees two women attempt to give a family a second lease on a life in a clean home. Kim is always amusing, and Aggie is always scientific. Plus, the two always look their best, even when they are in their cleaning whites and decorated rubber gloves. Kim is in her sixties and always has her make-up on and her hair perfectly quaffed. Aggie, younger, is virtually the same. Their cleaning tips are always useful and even my weak, arthritic hands can do most of them. Surprisingly even I have enough "elbow grease", one of Kim's favorite terms, to get cleaning done. And, having as clean a house as possible makes me feel better about myself and my life in general.

Why am I explaining all of this today? Well, because last night I lost control and my temper and argued with Hubby over something that didn't really matter. It was an old habit that I have been fighting to break every since moving to this beautiful new house. It is amazing how hard some habits are hard to break. It appears I was annoyed and wanted everyone else of the human variety to be annoyed as well. The truth is, it was just a reaction to nothing in particular. Seeing the old habit rear its ugly head made me more determined than ever to not bring any more negativity into this home than is otherwise normal. It is silly, perhaps, but I have fallen in love with a house, and life, and Hubby, all over again and I want there to be a nice safe and happy place for us to return to once we have been out in the world for a majority of the day.

My Mom worked so hard to provide my sisters and Dad this same thing. I never understood how important it was until moving here and seeing there could actually be something wonderful in a house. Until this place it seemed only my Mom had that answer and gift. It nearly floored me when I realized I had it as well, and just how important a gift it is to possess. AND, it doesn't make me less a professional or creative person than I am. In fact, I believe it makes me even more so!

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