HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

2009

The year 2009 is quickly approaching. It is deeply hoped in this heart of mine it is going to be better than 2008. So much has happened in this year to me personally that it feels good to look at the majority of this portion of the road that is behind me and muster up enough courage to hope that the next year is actually going to be better for me, my family, friends, and everyone else in the world.

Part of me is extremely worried about what this new year is going to bring. There is so much turmoil in the world right now where nothing is certain. Yes, I understand the uncertainty has been there all along and will continue into the future, but this time the uncertainty is almost palpable.

It may be wrong of me, but I am hoping President Obama can indeed make a positive change for this country which will in the trickle down affect me in the positive as well.

Hope is hard to come by these days with all that is going on.

2008 wasn't all bad. There were some bright spots in there, but, for the life of me, right now I cannot think of one single one to use as an illustration other than I have a job now and am employed.

Um....

The Christmas ill has arrived.

I am still knitting.

The shopping is NOT done.

The presents are NOT wrapped.

Yes, there is panic mixed in with the death-warmed-over feelings.

He's Expecting His First Puppy!

Cheyenne is getting his first puppy not very long after Christmas. It is a lab/rott/boxer mix. To me this means smart/smart/smart. If Cheyenne can train the little fella he will have a wonderful companion! However, it is going to be somewhat of a culture shock for him because up until now all he has had as a pet has been cats. Currently he has three cats, which are going to totally freak once they realize their domicile is going to be compromised by a dog. This amuses me greatly. Cheyenne has never had to worry about whether or not his shoes were out of the way, or if the toilet seat was down, or if the toilet paper was where it was supposed to be. He has never had to concern himself with setting a get-up time just so a puppy can go to pee, or that he needs to make sure he has the right food and clipping toenails and all of those wonderful dog-owner things. Yes, dear readers, it amuses me, because when I see people get their first dogs I always acquaint it with someone having their first baby, which is what having a dog is like. The baby grows up relatively quickly, true, into an eight year old (or sometimes a 12 year old) child for the rest of the dog's life. Sometimes it is a great big culture shock. Sometimes it isn't. There is always several hours of panic scattered throughout the beginning though, just like a new parent.

I am going to be here to help him, of course, and I am quite confident he is going to be a good dog owner and friend, but he is going to have a lot to get used to, as well as a totally different mind-set to undertake, especially until he sees what kind of personality the puppy has or will develop. I am actually excited for and with Cheyenne, and, at the same time, very glad all of mine are grown up enough I don't have to worry about any of the newer things related to puppydom.

It is hard enough to keep up with the cool presents my pack is going to receive as well as to what they should get for Christmas! (Currently the things are stashed away nicely in the cupboard up away from prying noses.)

moar funny pictures

3-2-1...BEEEP!!

Thanksgiving – with its turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, pies, cakes, and so many varied dishes – has come and gone. As is the tradition, many shoppers woke up early on the Friday after Thanksgiving to begin their Christmas shopping. Traditionally this has come to be known as “Black Friday” because the stores go from being in the red financially to being in the black. Despite the economy being what it is, shoppers did go out on “Black Friday” and shopped until they dropped. Several of my friends were among the masses filling the malls, stores, and shops about town. I stayed home with my darling hubby and enjoyed just being alone with him for the first time in quite a few days. It was lovely. It was precious. It was needed because both of us were exhausted.

It is hard for me to accept Christmas is not that far around the corner. Money is stressing me out this year, as in the lack of…. I have a job interview tomorrow that I am so hoping and praying I get. It is full-time work in a medical office answering telephones and doing a lot of typing. This is work I can do, and, if everything works out the way it should, I might actually be able to start work on Monday with a paycheck coming within a couple of weeks. If not, well, I am going to have to borrow money from Hubby for Christmas shopping for the first time in quite a while in order to get the few presents I need to purchase, as well as a couple more yarns for making presents people have requested of me.

Knitting has gone from being my little hobby; it appears, to being something else…something very positive and very necessary. For a while there was this negative part of me that kept pushing at me that the knitting had become a burden and I should just give it up. Just as quickly as this thought another one popped up, this one louder than the other, “If you give up knitting, what are we going to do with our hands when the TV is on? And why be forced to purchase the warm things we could make?” I had to agree with myself, but this did not lift the Christmas lethargy that has befallen me.

It is so hard for me to find the cheer and the happiness this time of year usually brings me. The song, “Where Are You Christmas?” has me nodding in agreement, because this is just how I feel, except for the joyous return of the Christmas spirit at the end of the song. I hope it does come back, because I miss it – I miss everything about it.

Why has it befallen me, this non-Christmas spirit? I have thought about this question a lot recently and have not found one reason why I should be feeling this way, except for the lack of funds on my part. Plus, I keep looking around me at all of the economic forecasts and am fearful and filled with questions: Has the country gone so far down that the new President cannot pull it out in time before another Depression hits? Why did President Bush let the country get into this condition? He ended up richer, but we common people are much poorer than what we were eight years ago, and this nation, us common people, are fighting two wars, which is straining the economy even more. When I look at all of this I don’t want to spend too much money on just things, but want to make the presents purchased, or made, truly good ones, and important to the recipients.

On the other hand I want Christmas to be special to everyone around me. I want this Christmas to be especially special because of so many reasons – the difficulty some of my friends are going through, a sense of change that is in the wind, and, quite honestly, a sense of uncertainty for the future. More than anything I want this Christmas to be wonderful as a point I can look back on, as well as my family and friends, as something memorable and good should the following year be less than memorable or good.

When you combine all of these things there is a tremendous amount of pressure on me. I could just let it go and concentrate only on myself and Hubby, but my family has grown in the past year with wonderful friends and I am closer than ever to my in-laws. My world has expanded over the past year with people, good, wonderful people that fill my heart with joy and happiness and it would be grand to give them something special just to show them, visibly, just how much they mean to me. Because, quite frankly, if the bottom does fall out from under us, out from under this nation, all we people are going to be left with is each other.

It IS Here

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Turkey Day Approaches

For some reason, this year's Thanksgiving has snuck up on me. It seemed that not too very long ago I was planning for summer and school. Where did the year go? I have often heard it say that the older you become the faster time passes. It is sadly proving to be quite true. Still, Thanksgiving approaches and once again me and Hubby are going to be surrounded with loved ones. I am thankful for each and every one of you.

This year Cheyenne is going through a difficult time with his father's illness. Today he said that the "family Thanksgiving" - the one me and Hubby host every year once the traditional Thanksgiving is done on the traditional Thursday - was helping him to relax a little. In times of crisis and sick family members if you can remind yourself of normal, peaceful times, your brain and heart can give you a short break before it goes back to breaking into a million pieces. Usually these moments of normalcy are called "distractions", and I have never fully understood why - because you aren't distracted at all from what is happening. It is there in the back of your mind; it nudges here and there and always reminds you of what is happening and that you can do absolutely nothing about it.

However, when you can find a moment of normal happening, like Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, even a trip to the mall or library, and everything falls into place if only for a short time, you catch your breath and smile easier, and even laugh.

Therefore, this Thanksgiving is important for my little family. Cheyenne needs a place of peace, and all of my family and friends need to rest from all their labors and be Thankful for what they have. Thanksgiving and Christmas have always been important to me, but not as important for those around me as this one seems to be. I am going to work very hard to give them the place for that rest and relaxation.

Bush Pardons 14

I understand each President does this before leaving office, but why should he pardon embezzlers and tax evaders? I can understand others, truly I can, but Why them?

Sometimes You Have to Laugh or You'll End Up Crying

"There are times when you just have to laugh or you'll end up crying," is a saying someone from back home on Stinnett used to say when bad things happened (except deaths), and the 'bad things' that happened usually had to do with relationships. Somehow this person could always put a funny, hilarious spin on what said event and whoever was around to hear always laughed.

There is a lot going on these days in the world, and it isn't all good. Most of it is bad. However, there are some people in this world that really can give you smile, even inadvertently, such as the people here in this photo. According to Yahoo, "The crimes against fashion being committed by Phoebe Price and her BFF Bobby Trendy on Robertson Boulevard are so severe that we're left speechless." On the whole, what can you do but laugh at this mess? Especially said Bobby Trendy. Let's just not go there! LOL!

However, there are some things that never go out of style, such as good looking men, and one of the best ones out there is Leonardo DiCaprio.

The man just gets better looking with age, and his ability just keeps growing. If this were truly the "golden age of cinema" as it was back in the 40s and 50s, he would be beyond popular. He would be an actor to reckon with in the craft.

Another guy I am finding a few heart-strings flipping for in my old, happy age is Jason Statham.

The man is an up-and-coming action star. He has not yet found his great role yet in my book, but his heroic roles so far have me anticipating happily each movie he comes out with; even the fantasy piece he did was excellent. It did not pretend to be anything more important and different than what it truly was: a good fantasy flick with heroism left and right.

So, today, have a laugh if you can. It really does help make everything better.

Honesty

Why is it that honesty usually hurts? Why does truth always have to sting?

Libray Thoughts 11/18/08

Today I was at the library. As on most trips there, or anyone where else, I had my paper journal with me to jot down a few thoughts. Today, instead of a regular ink pen I had my traveling dip pen set. There were some things observed there that I want to share. Therefore, from my paper journal is the following:

SS and I are at the public library downtown. We are writing. He has already begun, but, as is my habit, I must first journal. It is impossible and unwise to break some habits. This is one of those for me.

We are on the fourth floor by the windows. There is wonderful light from above and to my left. We are sitting at one of those double-sided tables, like in colleges and most libraries. I had forgotten how unfettered being here at the library made me feel. There is such a sense of relaxation for me here. Freedom.

Until I get a job I think I am going to start coming to the library on Tuesdays. I am already going to be downtown seeing the employment councilor (except for next week – Thanksgiving week). Why not also come on down here and just write and give that quiet place of my soul some nourishment? However, if this does indeed become the Tuesday routine pre-employment, DH is going to have to start giving me some money: I am now officially broke. No funds.

…

There are so many homeless people in the library today. They are carrying everything they own in either a backpack or a couple of garbage bags, or Wal Mart bags. They are just as welcome here as anyone else. It makes me sad when I hear people talking about putting them (the homeless) out of the library. Where else are they going to go to get warm or be in the dry for a little while?

I think I will work on some more knitted scarves, hats, mitts, and fingerless mitts. This way, when I come down each week I can give them a little extra something to help them keep warm. I so dislike the cold and would really like to help someone else stay warm. Being warm is really important for being able to be happy and survive the winter in some semblance of peace.

When you put yourself in another person’s place, it is much easier to want to do something for them and actually take steps to do so. Is this another reason why Christ said to love your neighbor as yourself? Maybe I have just finally grown enough to see it.

People cannot stay within the library unless they are actually using it, which means reading or looking through books. Many times you will see the men and women pouring over books on art, or reading novels or the newspaper. Then again, there are some here who have a newspaper in their lap and are sleeping, their belongings tucked under their chair or on a table in front of them where they are sitting. A few of them don’t sleep, I have noticed - they just sit here and usually have a vacant stare in their eyes and rarely move as if they are almost made of stone.
Some of the “normal” patrons – those not homeless – either ignore them completely or eye them with fear and loathing as if they shouldn’t be forced to breathe the same air. Their attitude annoys me and sometimes tries to take away part of the wonderful peace the library gives me.

Moving Forward

more animals

So right!

You Are Chess

You are brilliant and shrewd. You can often predict what people will do in the future. You thrive in complex situations. You deal with contradictions well. You can have many streams of though going on at your mind at once. You keep track of things well. You are very patient. You have lots of endurance, even when your energy dwindles

What Board Game Are You?

I Am So Proud of Him!

WOW! ... WOW! ... WOW!

Now the hard work begins, and I am going to support this nation with him all the way!
Photo from gabefritz on Flickr.com

Election Day

Did you get out and vote today?

Regardless of who wins history is being made today.

What are YOU going to be for Halloween?

You Should Be a Werewolf

You are seen as a bit tough and quite unpredictable. You follow your impulses. You see Halloween as a time you can go a little crazy. You love to scare people, and people are quite scared of you. You tend to be intimidating - and not just on Halloween!

What Classic Halloween Costume Should You Wear?

3 Things to Amuse You

http://www.lynyrdskynyrd.com/

Authorities Scuttle Skinhead Plot to Assassinate Obama

Two neo-Nazi skinheads are in jail today after law-enforcement officials
broke up their plot to assassinate Democratic presidential candidate Barack
Obama and shoot or behead 99 Black people, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and
Firearms and Explosives (ATF) said Monday. Authorities disrupted the plans of
the two would-be assassins to rob a gun store and target a predominately
African-American high school in a murder spree that was to begin in Tennessee,
federal officials said, in court records unsealed Monday in U.S. District Court
in Jackson, Tenn. All together, the two men planned to kill 88 people, including
14 African Americans by beheading, said Jim Cavanaugh, special agent in charge
of ATF’s Nashville field office. Read the rest here....

Just Too Much...Cutenesss!!!!

As all of you know, I am a big fan of icanhascheezburger.com and today when I went foraging for cuteness found far too much and thought it should just be shared. So, go, click, and have a moment of absolute peace.

Nancy

There are some people who come into your life and it seems as if you have known them all of it. Nancy was close to this sort of person. She was a member of my tai chi class and always had a smile and something good, or funny to say. This past Saturday at tai chi Hubby said Nancy was in perfect form and had everyone laughing, especially him. It was shock to discover her passing.

The platitudes of “She will be greatly missed” or “She was so very special” or “Nancy was one of a kind” do not come anywhere near the truth.

Like me she loved animals, especially dogs. The last time I was to talk with her she had her new puppy at tai chi class. Most everyone else did tai chi while we discussed dogs, training, and life in general. It was a late summer morning and her smile was almost as bright as the sunshine.

At the visitation last night there was a wonderful collection of people from so many different groups a few of which included tai chi, belly dancing, Kentucky Horse Park, Shriner’s Hospital, Central Baptist Hospital, the dog park, and so many other places.

Nancy was my friend and I am going to miss her. We are all going to miss her.

Yahoo! News Story - Online divorcee jailed after killing virtual hubby - Yahoo! News

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This is funny and sad.

Online divorcee jailed after killing virtual hubby - Yahoo! News

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081023/ap_on_re_as/as_japan_avatar_murder

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A Quick Note

FanStory.com is a good place to practice your craft. Since I need a place where I can just sit down and write and see how my writing does against other writing this will be the place for me to test-drive a few pieces and get myself more organized in my writing world. I encourage you to check it out. Even though it does require a monthly fee in order to join the contests which pay I highly recommend it.

Uphill Battles and Streaming Radio

Several weeks ago I began looking for a part time job. The extra money could help and having some work experience was a major plus. Two weeks ago I applied for a receptionist position. It was perfect - part time, good pay, and the hours could not have been any better. The human resources person who called me, let's call him "Adam", and was gushing over my resume' and cover letter. He also said my phone voice was perfect for the job and that I practically had the position. All I needed to do was to come into his office and sign a couple of papers and I could begin work within a couple of days.

I made arrangements for the WHEELS van to take me out to where I needed to be. I asked for Adam and he was pointed out to me. He saw the wheelchair and his eyes just shut down. He gave me the papers he had told me I needed to sign. I signed them and was promptly told that he thought the receptionist position had been filled and he did not believe there were any more positions available, but he would keep my resume on file in case something opened up. Yeah, not going to hold my breath there buddy boy. You can't fool someone who has been through the sudden change of heart once they actually see you.

The really sad thing is that I didn't need to be able to walk in order to answer telephones and direct people to where they needed to go. In fact, it would have been better for the people to see me in the wheelchair because the position I was applying for was at a hospital.

No matter how often it happens or how much you tell yourself things will get better and that there are more jobs out there, it hurts. It hurts deep down, and it is a pain that attacks your self-esteem and confidence. It also attacks that place where hope dwells and makes you not want to trust anyone, especially strangers, and strangers in positions of power, like potential employers.

However, I did not cry once I was home. I did not become outwardly upset at all. I told myself all of the platitudes of more jobs are out there and someone would see what a good employee they had before them and so much more. It did not help. Hubby added his voice to everything, as well as friends and even my priest. It did not help. Having a virus this weekend did not help either, but it did get me to thinking about all of the positive things I do have going for me.

I have not applied to any more jobs since that one rejection...until today. I sucked it up and settled in and found a streaming local radio station for music and applied for jobs. Keep going. This is the current motto. Keep going.

What Happened to the Week?

It is Friday and as I sit here typing this the sun is already beginning to sink down below the horizon and evening is not very far away. In looking back at this week I have been trying to see just what it was that I have done so I could at least regale you with stories of how fantastic it was, but there aren't any. I have also tried to see, if possible, what has not happened so that I could see where the holes were which could be filled in, but haven't seen those either. In short, I have no idea what happened with this week. Maybe next week will be better.

This and That to Say I am Back

Surprise! I have returned! Things have been really jumping around here. There have been job interviews and job applications and arranging rides, etc. Now, however, things are easing up just a wee bit, while the old blood pressure still keeps trying to make me feel like absolute crap and dislike life.

And, for your reading enjoyment click the header above and see how a guy was snubbed for the Nobel in chemistry.

The Lives Diaries Keep Are Important

A diary of an Israeli astronaut about the space shuttle Columbia was found and is being restored. It survived extreme heat, falling many miles back to earth, and found its way to the wife of the deceased astronaut and is being restored for the family. It is humbling how miraculous this is, and how important diaries are to the average person, whether or not they are astronauts, doctors, or just plain people like myself. You may click the header above or the link below to read the entire story.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081003/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_israel_astronaut_s_diary

Research Begins and Words go Down

A new novel is in the works in my head. This time I am really trying to pay very close attention to both my audience and the story I want to tell. Since it is going to be set in the Civil War era and is, more or less, going to be what most people consider a romance, there are certain criteria which must be met, and this means reading up on the time period. The book to the right is one of the books I would like to read.

In all fairness, I have been wanting to read this book for a very long time as is. I had the pleasure of reading a very small part of it once at Barns and Noble and have been very sad that I was unable to finish it; at the time it was only in hardback format, which meant it was far too expensive for me to purchase and bring home. So now I have an excuse to send a friend to the library to pick it up for me (hopefully it is there).

Another novel that would like to be perused for said novel of my own, is this one:

A friend suggested this one after hearing part of the story on NPR driving to work this morning. After reading as much about this as possible, I must admit this sounds like a wonderful story to read in general.

The new novel has not been the only writing project of late either, but a short story is nearly finished. Already there are 2,384 words down on it, and, quite honestly, I am hoping to having the first draft down by the end of today or tomorrow - Friday at the very latest.

It feels wonderful to be writing again. Hopefully I can keep pushing so this will be a new phase of wordage and successful submissions.

The...Festival...Is...Over...For...One...More...Year...!!!

This little doggie is a perfect visual representation of how all of us felt yesterday at five o'clock when the St. Andrew's Heritage Festival was over.

The bookstore did relatively well this weekend. It did not make as much money as we would have hoped, but, thank God, this year we practically broke even and I must admit I was pleased (although yesterday turned out to be not my best physical day). And, to my knowledge, the kitchen was the big winner by doing $1000+! Saint Andrew's Church is filled with excellent cooks, as the sales have pronounced loudly. This year there was a lot of take-out instead of eat-in. Although it was different, it appears to have worked quite well.

Take-down for the festival took less than two hours, which is totally opposite from set-up, which took almost a week! By the time everything had been finished and me and hubby had finally made it home after dropping off a tray of baklava for a friend who had recently had an operation, we were exhausted. We had only enough energy to eat a bite of supper, which we had brought from the festival, and I was able to read a little of the novel currently on the agenda before I gave it up and went to bed at 9:22 p.m. Hubby stayed up longer watching a football game and relaxing in his own way.

One of the things Hubby and I did with supper was have a wonderful celebratory libation: He had a beer and I had a Parrot Bay mojito. It hit the spot, I tell you! I would have had another mojito, but, to be honest, I was just simply too tired.

Exhaustion was such the theme of the evening that Hubby did not bother to wake me up this morning really. He just gave me a kiss and went on off to work. I needed every ounce of extra sleep I got.

Saint Andrew's Heritage Festival, Lexington, KY

This weekend is our Church's festival. So, in preparation for it I am only taking one thing with me to work on, OK, maybe two: the wonderful sweater called clark, and my soon to be finished very warm socks for winter.

ST. ANDREW ORTHODOX CHURCH is a member of the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America, Metropolitan PHILLIP, Primate.

Antioch is one of the five original Apostolic sees of Christianity. The disciples of Our Lord were called Christians first in Antioch. (Acts 11:26).

*Services are offered in English, and all are invited to worship the Undivided Trinity.

If you are in the Lexington, KY area, check us out. Here is a schedule of the entertainment:

ENTERTAINMENT SCHEDULE


SATURDAY

12:00 PM St. Andrew Slavic Dancers
1:00 PM St. Andrew Arabic Dancers
2:00 PM McTeggart Irish Dancers
3:00 PM Choir Concert (in Church)
4:00 PM St. Andrew Arabic Dancers
5:00 PM St. Andrew Slavic Dancers
6:00 PM Choir Concert (in Church)
6:30 PM St. Andrew Arabic Dancers
7:00 PM St. Andrew Slavic Dancers

Church Tours – 12:30 PM, 2:30 PM, 5:30 PM

SUNDAY

1:00 PM St. Andrew Slavic Dancers
1:30 PM St. Andrew Arabic Dancers
2:00 PM Greek Dancers
2:45 PM Lexington International Dancers
3:30 PM Choir Concert (in Church)
4:00 PM St. Andrew Arabic Dancers
4:30 PM St. Andrew Slavic Dancers

Church Tours – 1:00 PM, 2:30 PM, 4:00 PM



ALA CARTE ITEMS


KIBBEE $ 2.00
CABBAGE ROLL $ 2.00
SPINACH PIES $ 2.00
GRAPE LEAVES
(Vegetarian) $ 2.00
(with Meat) $ 2.00
PIEROGIES (3) $ 2.00
GIBANICA $ 2.00
TABOULEH $ 2.00
FATTOUSH $ 2.00
HOMMOUS $ 2.00

SANDWICH ITEMS


CHICKEN SHISKABOB $ 6.00

KEFTA SANDWICH $ 6.00

FALAFFEL SANDWICH $ 5.00

KIELBASSI SANDWICH $ 5.00

GYRO $ 6.00

St. Andrew Orthodox Church
1136 Higbee Mill Road(just inside Man O'War at Clays Mill)

SCHEDULE:

Saturday, Sept 27th - 11am to 8pm

Sunday, Sept 28th - Noon to 5pm


FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT:

Middle Eastern, Slavic, Irish and Greek!

Choir Concerts and Church Tours...Silent Auction...

FREE ADMISSION

For Information call: 859.223.5091 or 859.277.1763

"Bruno" not exactly welcome?

Is it just me, or is it that people are going out on limbs to distract people from things important as well as unimportant? This reminds me of stunts pulled by the media and entertainment figures during the Great Depression we see in newsreels and read about in books on the Great Depression. What do you think?

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Borat actor crashes Agatha's party at fashion show - Yahoo! News

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Yahoo! News Story - What Happens When We Die? - Yahoo! News

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What Happens When We Die? - Yahoo! News

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AARGH!!

According to the Internets - this is Talk Like a Pirate Day! So talk you landlubbers!

Some Words That Helped Me Today

Hope is the most precious treasure to a person.

Just a question today....

It doesn't feel as if there is anything pertinent to write about today. I have been wracking my brain for something funny, intelligent, or just plain interesting to write about here, but, sadly, there is nothing coming to the forefront of the gray matter.

So, instead of writing about something pertinent, funny, intelligent or just plain interesting, I have a question for you instead:

How often do you have brain-dead days?

A Gray Sky. A Good Day.

Today is a good day. The exhaustion has taken a slight vacation, and, just maybe, it will decide to live wherever it has currently gone. It would be wonderful to be able to have good days again, filled with a semblance of energy and accomplishment. The past few days have been accomplished days, but in a totally different manner. They have been days where things have been accomplished on the computer, not in the house, visible to other people. Today has been an accomplished day in both areas - in the house and visible to others, as well as here on the computer and in the writing world.

My beautifully handsome drag queen has decided it is time s/he gets the story out of her life. Since it has been so long since Ms. Florentyne has been in the mind's eye things have changed, but only slightly. I can now see that the story is going to be probably a trilogy because everything that needs to happen can't happen, or really shouldn't happen in just one single book. Unless I am completely fooled, it would be a better idea to get it done in three - this way none of the story is rushed or crammed into one single volume and feeling cluttered. It all could happen in one novel. It is good to leave the current options open until we see how it is all going to work out.

It seems this particular novel can only be worked on when the writer, being me, feels like a human being.

The female love interest for our handsome drag queen has changed a little. She currently isn't a complete emotional basket case. Her life is changing, but it isn't just a mass of being swept from one place to another. It is changing because she wishes it to change. Her narration is more honest than it was in the first draft. She is the same person she was just more settled and active in the changes taking place in her world, life.

Yes, I understand these are direct reflections of the writer. Instead of making me feel like a complete ass, it is giving me pause to ponder and plot and proceed in telling the story more carefully. Her narration is helping me be more aware of different factors in peoples lives and how it affects those around them and how they make decisions. One thing I am considering with this particular version is that close to the end of this version there will be a slight hiatus while I am working in NaNoWriMo.

There is a reason for the madness of NaNoWriMo: The Narrator is going to be writing, possibly partaking in NaNoWriMo herself. Who knows, I may even write the NaNoWriMo piece under her name just to be silly. I may be able to do both, finish my handsome drag queen's story and do NaNoWriMo itself, but a novel in 30 days is almost impossible to do while working on other things, especially another novel! However, it might be possible.

Wow! It has been a while since I have felt good enough to be a writer and feel like one, too!

A Fantastic Moment in Sports

I am not an overly excitable football fan, unless, of course, the Green Bay Packers are playing and then, well, I am so there...but this is an absolutely fantastic play!

amused and tired

Sitting here at the kitchen table trying very hard to keep my eyes open and my brain awake, I looked around me and saw dogs scattered like snoring bushes with fur and fangs. Sometimes, when things aren't their best or any where near perfect a good moment just pops up like a little sweet kiss from your Guardian Angel.

Some Semblance of Reality Returns to my World

At the moment I have my fingers crossed that the old blood pressure is going to sort of behave itself. Friday it spiked into the 200s/100s which means the doctor called in a new medication and, so far, it appears to be working. It must be suiting my body because the exhaustion and absolute bone-numbing tired that has been plaguing me has finally let up some. I am actually feeling like a human being again! *knock on wood* Hopefully this is a continuing trend, because it would be WONDERFUL not to have to fight through the tired in order to have some semblance of a day. Because of the spike another doctor's visit has been requested by said physician and this means a juggling act must commence tomorrow with everything I had already booked for the week. It can't be helped, and, quite personally, it would be good to be checked out by said physician after feeling as horrible as I did last week, and especially Friday.

Yahoo! News Story - Attacks, praise stretch truth at GOP convention - Yahoo! News

Someone Somebody (hahwriter@yahoo.com) has sent you a news article.
(Email address has not been verified.)
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Personal message:

Attacks, praise stretch truth at GOP convention - Yahoo! News

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080904/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_fact_check

============================================================
Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/

It is amazing some of the items are so truthful and yet so misleading. The Republican camp is bending the truth...again. There was far too much in the article that needed posting that it was best just to send a link to it.

A Truthful Update

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080904/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_fact_check

The Election of Our President Nears...

Recently I have been bombarded with questions about for whom I am going to vote for in the up-coming United States Presidential election. I was even at my doctor's office recently and a complete stranger held up two magazines. One had a picture of John McCain and the other had Barack Obama on the cover. Once I had said which one I liked, I was called a fool in no uncertain terms.

Also, a dear, dear friend of mine proclaimed proudly she was going to vote for John McCain merely because "he had a woman vice-presidential running mate" and that was her only reason. Did she look at the policies and speeches of both candidates? No, she was just excited and happy to vote for a candidate that seemed forward thinking by having a woman as vice-president. I don't care who you are, woman or man; black or white, just as long as you can show me a positive plan for the country and give me enough proof you might be able to back it up - then let me make up my own mind. Sadly, many people are going to vote for McCain merely because he has a woman candidate as vice-president - not that she has even less environmental standards than the current Bush camp. This frightens me, and it should frighten others.

On the other side, a lot of people are going to vote for Barack Obama merely because he is half black and nothing else.

So, in order to give you information about the campaigns and all of their promises, I encourage you to follow the links below and read. Make up your own mind. Don't depend on the fact that there is a woman vice-presidential candidate is present or that "a black man" has finally been able to reach the presidential candidacy. Look at what they say, their issues and plans, and make up your own mind.

Barack Obama's Acceptance Speech
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94087570

Biden's Acceptance Speech
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94048033

Can't find a link for McCain's acceptance speech

Palin's Acceptance Speech
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080904/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_palin_text

Bumps in the Road

Yes, it has been a while I am sorry to say. The more yours truly has tried to right and order things the more they have been splaying out everywhere! However, if things are truly as organized as I believe them to be, next week is going to move along quite nicely without any flubs because there are several very important appointments I need to keep for the Vocational Rehabilitation services.

In other news - life is rolling along and there are quite a few bumps in the road. Luckily I haven't been bounced out of the cart.

The Gray Sky Is Weighing Me Down With Tears

It is gray here in Lexington today. It hasn't rained to my knowledge, but I sort of wish it would - at least the rain would reflect how I am feeling on the inside at the moment.

Of course, I have already had my own water works for the day. Not to go into too much detail but, I was trying to play and joke with someone and they became angry and defensive and it hurt my feelings down to the core of my being. I tried to explain, but I really don't believe the other person understands just how much this misunderstanding came about and at such a cost to, possibly, both of us. The friendship is still intact, but it may be a while before I am comfortable again. In the past I can see how the misunderstanding could have escalated into a huge argument, but this time it was innocent and I am hurt. They are hurt and probably angry, despite telling me and themselves they aren't. Defensiveness usually means hurt and anger despite what the person is saying. It is just plain human nature.

It took me a while to stop crying. I haven't cried like that in a long time. It wasn't a cleansing cry, but one of those crys that just lets all of the emotion you can't explain or hold any more just come out. Hopefully it was good for my blood pressure. Just to make sure I took my little nerve pill and relaxed in front of the computer to do some editing on a story I am sending out and just try and work into some type of relaxation. To help encourage this I also put on SKY.fm through Windows Media Player and let the rhythms just flow through me as best as I can.

I am far too emotional these days, and I just can't reign them in.

shhhhhhh

It is raining.

It is quiet.

The knitting needles call me loudly.

Some Decisions Are Impossible To Make!

Today I was supposed to go to the doctor. It was one of those important follow-ups where I was supposed to get test results and talk over those more important patient questions with said doctor. As you have guessed by now, I didn't make it. Why? Because WHEELS was running an hour behind. I called the doctor's office to see if they could see me any way, but was told the doctor's schedule was full and they couldn't take any walk-ins unless it was an emergency (which they would prefer the emergency cases went to the ER, and rightly so). This means that, once again, I had to reschedule this same doctor's appointment for the third time.

Why yes, I did get somewhat annoyed when all was said and done, but figured it would be best to just let it go and move on with the day. It is Friday after all.

However, before heading outside to wait on the bus that would not come, there was a horrible decision to make: What should I take with me for the "waiting" portion of the day? You know, waiting on the bus to arrive here and to bring me back home from the doctor's office; as well as waiting in the doctor's office. Knitting, of course, was the first thing that came to mind, but this also meant that it would be an extra bag to keep track of; and, the book I am currently reading came second. It wouldn't have been overly difficult to take both, but one would have been better than both and less to keep track of. It took a good thirty minutes to settle on the book. Even once the decision was firmly made, my hands still itched to work on the scarf currently on the needles.

A Different Sort of Gray

Today has not been the best. It has been one of pain and almost-unhappiness due to said pain. This time Arther (Arthritis for the newbies) has decided to visit the hands, elbows, feet, and touched on the right knee. Plus the sciatic nerve really isn't happy yet, but growing less annoyed with being part of this particular body.

To help alleviate the unhappy body, the power chair was brought into play today. Yes, I know, I was surprised I actually let myself get into it after all of the hard work it took to get used to the manual one which keeps my legs stronger and moving. If everything goes as I hope, tonight will see me putting the power chair on charge for the doctor's visit tomorrow, and some good, quiet sleep tonight.

Since it is Thursday there is the game to consider. I have considered it and am not going. Getting outside in the power chair wouldn't be a problem, but getting out of the power chair and struggling into the van would be more struggle than what I personally want to undergo today, especially since the pain is just now beginning to ease up a little. However, since I am not going to the game there is time to just sit quietly and knit on the scarf I have promised Church. I may also watch Hellboy, the uncut version while I knit. So, see, the evening will not be wasted.

Rejection Slips

A poem I had submitted to a magazine was rejected. I didn't get a "rejection slip" because it was an e-mail, but it still works out to be the same thing.

Am I sad? Depressed? I am a little sad a poem was rejected, but, at the same time, this is actual proof I am trying to get my writing out there for the world to read. In this way the rejection is a positive thing, and fodder for my determination to kick in to a higher gear.

There IS a good reason I haven't been around for a while...

And just what is that reason you ask? It is called MY BIRTHDAY!!! Cheyenne came in for his birthday as well as mine, and we partook of good food and friendship, and after dinner on Thursday, which was my actual birthday, we went to Lynagh's Pub downtown where PG was bar tending. The drink you see here to the right is the drink that ended the night -- whiskey.

And the lovely beverage below began the evening. It has 9 liquors, if I am not mistaken, and it packed quite a punch. Yes it did! So I just had to have one more of them before moving to the nice shot of whiskey PG gave me as a birthday present.

AND I drove in my little handy-dandy power chair all the way to the van without one single mishap. However, once I was on my feet and moving, all of the liquor hit, of course. I believe, if I am not mistaken, I informed nearly everyone and anyone who would listen that it was my birthday...loudly.

Poor Hubby handled it all with humor and smiles and listened to me jabber in the bed until I passed out fell asleep peacefully beside him.

Friday I slept late, sort of, and awoke hungry and happy. No hang over. (See, I did go to college!) Since some friends didn't get to make it to the dinner on the previous night there was a second evening of dinner at Natasha's Cafe where there was a live band playing. They were a Beatles cover band and did an awesome job. People danced and sang and ate and it was loud and it was fun and happy and was the perfect topper to the birthday celebrations.

Saturday we all just sort of hung out and relaxed. Sunday was an ill day for my darling Hubby. We think (are pretty sure) he got too much MSG along the way in the form of KFC chicken. He was a sick man, and I was just exhausted. He had a full-blown migraine all of Sunday and was weak from it yesterday so he ended up not going to work, which means today he is putting in over-time to catch up on all of the work he missed. He so hates to miss any days, but especially Mondays because it throws his week off (and work schedule).

Since partying for most (if not all) of the weekend, yesterday I sat down and wrote out a good list of all of the things I needed to accomplish this week. Since I spread everything over the week, it is actually getting done slowly; this means the plan is working! Now, all I need is to get my left leg to stop hurting just a little: I slipped yesterday and hit my psyattic(sp?) nerve and it hasn't stopped hurting since. Still, it hasn't put a damper on anything. It is just a (horrible, terrible) pain that will pass eventually and I'll be 100% instead of just 85% as is the current case.

Hubby and I have decided to go down to Lynagh's about once a week just to get away for a little while and have a drink. He says they have an awesome selection of sandwiches. I wouldn't mind trying one.

Sunshine Outside My Window

Today is better than yesterday in the mental and spiritual sense. Today, like yesterday, I have made sure to play soothing music while I am trying to work and up-beat music when I am doing housework. I also made myself get up with Hubby instead of laying in the bed an extra 45 minutes, and I am feeling better, more alert and less...almost-depressed.

Somewhere within the past 24 hours I have realized I am not depressed. I am in flux. My entire life is in this weird, strange ebb and flow. The waters of my world are pushing and pulling me in different directions and I am soon going to be adrift in the vast sea of life and on my way to some other portion of my existence that will, eventually, become yet another part of my life and my world. Seeing that, realizing that, has helped me to be more calm and relaxed of late, as well as energized to actually go out and change the last few things in my life that I sincerely don't like about myself. And, surprisingly, there is an actual plan for beginning this!

Parts of it may be silly to others, but for me I am actually taking a big deep breath and heading forward with it, and my head is held high - not out of determination really, or arrogance or anything like that: It is being held high because I want to see the things that will be coming for me, or at me, whichever way you may understand it yourself. This time I understand, for these specific things I am going to be working on, I am scarred and I am supposed to be - change of oneself isn't supposed to be easy. If it were easy, then we could change each and every bad thing about ourselves without hardship or worry and we wouldn't keep falling back into old or bad habits.

Maybe this is all coming about because my birthday is tomorrow and I can see just how much I have changed (even if others can't) and I can, with certainty, know I can change the last of these things that I need to change to be the person I perceive myself to be, rather than hope to be. Does this make sense? I hope so.

A friend of mine recently told me that I am having a mid-life crisis. I am at the age of mid-life, and I am going through an internal crisis, but it doesn't feel all that horrible and world ending. It feels more like a "world-beginning" moment. It is frightening. It leaves me in a cold sweat sometimes, but I know it isn't going to kill me, and this is all for the better - a better me, a better us, a better life.

It isn't going to be a quick thing. It isn't going to happen over-night. It will happen, though. It must happen. Why? It must happen because it is time for it too. Just like when you're growing up and you know you are going through a transition and, at some moment of clarity you realize you aren't a child any more, and at the very same time you realize you aren't fully the person you are going to be. This point in my own history is one of those, just, a little older and more intense because I am older and more secure - in some ways - than I used to be. I am not a young woman any more. I am not an old woman either. I am in a strange land I've never been before and some changes are going to have to be made to develop into the person I want and need to be.

Yes, I know, this has been happening a while for me. Change doesn't automatically happen. The difference about this moment in time is that I am beyond aware of it, and there is something about it that is exciting to me. It is positive in the depths of the fearfulness of it all. It is the beginning of the next-to-final stage of who I am to be.

Tidbits

Today has already been an odd day, but, surprisingly, a good day.

To start off the day I had a horrible headache that made me feel de-evolved into something very unpleasant. Surprisingly, when I actually made it to my feet from laying down, my neck popped loud, with a tremendous sharp pain, and the headache vanished! I am thankful the headache vanished and hopeful I will not sleep in a position that puts my neck in such a horrible place again.

The meeting with the Vocational Rehabilitation councilor for today was cancelled due to transportation problems. Surprisingly, when I explained to her everything that had been going on and how the re-scheduling for today wasn't going to work out as I had hoped, she was understandable. In the conversation we also talked over some good possibilities for some employment of at least part time. The Voc Rehab councilor wanted a release from my doctor, which, hopefully, I can secure for her the very next time I go to the doctor, which is the 22nd of this month. Again, this was a not-so-good-something that has ended up actually being positive.

The novel is progressing and I realized that I enjoyed my first beginning than the second one. This means, of course, I'll go back to the original beginning and move on from there. Sadly, I will have to work most of the day to catch up on the word count since I did nothing over the weekend (husbands have priorities on the weekends you know). And, since I have begun a somewhat difficult novel, my beloved werewolf keeps popping up; as a matter of fact, I dreamed about him all night last night and leads me to wonder...again...if I can indeed write two distinctly different novels at the same time. Several writers' blogs I read seem to have them concentrating on only one new piece at a time. Perhaps, by the time the spiffy fantasy novel is finished my beloved werewolf will be more willing to go down onto the paper? One project at a time, though, is probably the best route to take at the moment.

Yesterday Hubby and I finally made it to Barns and Noble! It was SO fantastic to be there! I was so very pleased, and even he had a good time this time. Sniffles made it to BN as well and it was just a wonderful escape for me, even though we didn't make it to Church. Hubby just couldn't wake up and I just simply wasn't feeling all that well. Relaxing at the bookstore and meeting friends and getting a fleece to spin up has made me it so much easier to deal with life in general, at least for today.

Bought more yarn to begin a new tam with yesterday. Is it even possible for me to go near a place that sells yarn without making a purchase? I am beginning to doubt it is. The new yarn is going to make a very interesting tam, I think. Pictures when it is finished, of course.

Now, off to to some housework and catch up on the writing!

New Novel Progress

Started a new novel today. So far am quite pleased with it.

Words today: 1679
Goal words: 100,000

quiet zen moment

Yesterday I did quite a bit of spinning. The TV was on in the background, which was the perfect "background noise". Once I looked up to see the dogs had encircled me and the cat was peacefully curled in the center of the living room rug and as asleep as any cat you have ever seen. She was so asleep that when JoJo walked over her to get to another comfy spot she didn't even wake up to give her even a half-hearted swat.

It was such a peaceful moment in time. It was peaceful as well as encouraging that everything was going to be all right in that zen sort of way. It was one of those moments where I was in the very center of it, and there was peace surrounding me. There haven't been too many of those lately for one reason or another, and that one happened yesterday encourages me that, perhaps, one will happen today. And tomorrow. And the next day.

Let me in! Let me in! Let me in!

Today has been one of those summer rainy days where you really don't want to do anything except, perhaps knit, spin, or read a good book wrapped up in a light blanket. There has been a good portion of rain and scattered storms throughout the day, and now it is bright and sunny and humid and makes you very glad you have air conditioning.

However, earlier, when the rain was coming and going, the dogs decided they needed to go outside, and since it was nice and cool they didn't want to come back in straight away so I left them outside with the back door curtain pulled aside so we could keep an eye on each other. All was well in our respective worlds.

The rain hadn't been a problem for a couple of hours when Gabby jumped up and came barrelling for the back door. Her ears were up and she stopped just shy of running into the door. She was dancing from one front foot to the other and had this urgent look to her face as her tail was beating 90 in excitement and something of glee. She had this completely happy and eager look of "Let me in! Let me in! Let me in!" The other two were behind her and almost oblivious as to the need of such haste of coming inside, but if Gabby was ready to go in then so were they.

Leisurely I made my way to the door and opened it to let them in. As usual they filed in - Gabby, JoJo, then Chewie. Just as Chewie's tail cleared the door rain came down in buckets, sheets, torrents, and water-falls!

Explanation + Sunshine = Calm

more cat pictures

On Monday of last week the lady we are renting the house from called me and said, "My husband and I are moving to Mississippi and we are going to put both houses up for sale. We will try to make sure the new owner will continue to let you rent, but we can't promise, but we'll try. Unless you can buy the house yourselves?" Yep, ten o'clock in the morning over a cooling cup of coffee I received this telephone call. Yes, there was immediate panic and diving for the telephone book to see who I had not called about a loan for the house previously, as well as praying. Yes, both Hubby and I prayed a lot. And, no, it wasn't good for my blood pressure.

Friday there was also a test on my kidneys scheduled. Since Hubby and I had to be out for a good portion of the day we got some things done such as securing a new handicapped parking pass/tag and checking at his bank for a loan.

WE GOT THE LOAN! It isn't officially official, but it is 95% official. This means, thank the Good Lord, we don't have to move any time soon. At the same time this also means our house payments are a little more than our rent and we are really going to have to save for a new roof and a few other things we want to do for the house in the future. Luckily we won't have to have a new roof for the next five years, but I would really like to have it done before then in order to keep the house nice and insulated like it is now.

See, like I said, it was a BIG problem, but it is being handled right now and life has slowly begun to settle back down. Now we have 30 years of debt ahead of us. For some reason it doesn't make me panic.

Some days just make you want to throw your hands up and almost surrender!

And today is one of those days. I can't go into details right now, but I will as soon as I am at liberty to explain the new problem that has crept into our life. It is a BIG problem this time, but one that will, with work and prayer, be resolved sooner than later. However, if you are of a mind, positive thoughts and prayers directed our way would be greatly appreciated. No, neither of us is ill, or more ill than normal (speaking of myself and current BP problems), so this, at least, is a positive.

Today, after Sniffles came and had a good long visit, I realized I haven't done much relaxing here on The News. It isn't that there hasn't been information to impart or stories to tell. Nor has it been the intent to do so has been lacking. What has been lacking, though, is energy to put words down. Perhaps I have pushed myself harder in everything than what I originally thought I had been doing. Now that the stress of school has lessened, I am finding my energy slowly beginning to recover, and this is a good thing.

This means, if all goes well, everything will sort of get to a more normal flow again, and I, for one, am looking forward to it!

The Good Ol' Days of ECW Wrestling! (I Remember This!)

http://view.break.com/539758 - Watch more free videos

Better. Better. Better. *happy dance*

The weekend has arrived. What happened to the week? Where did it go? What have I done with these recent days? The long and short of it is - I slept. Knitted. Watched TV. Watched movies. Repeat. My body has dictated some strange sort of schedule and I have actually kept it because my body would have nothing else. Today, however, it has all paid off, because the doctor's visit came out better. Everything isn't perfect, of course, but it is better. The doctor and I are moving forward slowly and carefully. Tests are scheduled for the future. I am planning future knitting projects. Life is moving forward at its own pace. It will pick up steam slowly, and then it will be damn the torpedoes full speed ahead! Yeah, maybe not quite "damn the torpedoes" but it will be as close to "full speed ahead" as is possible.

Humor...Is...Returning...!!!

more cat pictures

I know, recently I have been quite cryptic about what has been going on with me. So, here is the long and short of it: I have high blood pressure. I don't mean moderately high blood pressure, I mean REALLY HIGH blood pressure! Two weeks ago Hubby had to take me to the ER because my BP while at school was 230/120. By the time we got to the ER it was 272/142.

Not good.

This has caused a lot of sudden changes for me, like withdrawing from classes for a while, and making sure to take medication, keep track of my BP and just trying to relax more.

I am taking care of me. Hubby is helping, and lots of people are praying and helping as much as they can.

Yesterday it finally reached 120/88. It was a lot better. Friday I see the doctor and we know where we're going to go from there.

Guest Post from Cheyenne

Cheyenne here, folks, and...well, let me explain.

The above strip is from a webcomic called Jackie's Fridge. It's an odd story, with an evil guinea pig, a talking refrigerator, a short redhead named Jackie, and an assortment of odd characters. Two of those characters are featured above - Ada, the blond haired black Scottish woman, and Gin, the young girl with the sundae.

Some time ago, I brought this particular strip up to The Editor. I'm not sure what we were talking about, although I'm pretty sure it was something sweet. Probably chocolate, knowing us. Actually, I think it might have been fudge - I'd made some and left it at her home one trip, and she was savoring each piece, letting it melt on her tongue. She was trying to explain just how much she loved the fudge, but was not coming upon the right words.

That doesn't happen often, mind you, her not finding the right words. It's kind of fun when it does.

So I'm listening to her, and I can see this odd, faraway look in her eye as she remembers the fudge, and I nodded sagely. "You don't really enjoy the fudge," I said. "You experience the fudge."

Her eyes snapped into focus, and she looked at me for a long second. "Yes," she said. "Exactly."

Then I muttered the rest of the strip under my breath - the "May I experience your pie?" part. And the editor, heard me, and pressed me for an explanation.

So I told her about the strip, and the idea one experiencing something has slipped into our shared lexicon. Some things we just enjoy, but some things, our most favorite of things - fudge and wrestling and really good music - we don't simply enjoy - we experience them, with no fear of being laughed at or of being messy or of being thought strange.

Life is a wondrous thing, you see. It just takes a little experience.

more cat pictures

Due to illness....

Due to a severe illness on my part, updating here is going to be slow, but still, it will happen every day - either by guest bloggers or myself. More on what's going on later, Dear Readers.

I had a very bad reaction to a medication I was trying out for my arthritis from my rheumatologist Wednesday. It was a patch of pain medication called Flector Patch(tm), which is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug); it's medical/drug name is diclofenac epolamine topical patch. It worked wonderfully for the knee pain I was having on Tuesday night when I got home from class, but Wednesday morning brought nausea, stomach pain, weakness, and a few more icky side effects. It was serious enough to keep me from going to my class Wednesday night. This means Monday, when I get to Sullivan, I will be doing my absolute best to try and find out what assignment is due on this coming Wednesday. Yesterday was a little better, and today I am feeling almost perfect (for me). There is still some lingering weakness, but the stomach pain and nausea are gone and I am close to being hungry again. For Mexican food. Yeah, I am such a weirdo when it comes to getting over icky days. When I get hungry from something like this it usually has a flavor...like Mexican, Italian, pizza, or Chinese. Tonight is Game Night Part Deux. I think it is the perfect time to take along some knitting, don't you?

Gray Start to a Saturday

Today started off, well, groggy. I took the new muscle relaxer last night and didn't get a full eight hours of sleep when I got up to go to tai chi I was pretty much sloppy walking. Hubby had to make sure to walk with me from one point to another, and driving my wheelchair was quite interesting.

However, we did not actually make it to tai chi. It was raining this morning so the tai chi class moved from its normal place and we just couldn't find it, so we went to Fava's and had a wonderful breakfast. About the time we were finished eating and ready to leave the tai chi class showed up.

Sadly, there wasn't any yarn fix this morning either: The yarn shop was closed with a note on the door that told us Beth was sick and had to go home.

I Simply Don't Get The Media Any More....!

Yesterday Hubby and I decided to watch the news, mostly to catch the weather for the week. There was political talk and Barak Obama came on TV talking at his church about fathers. He said "Fathers are missing in action. Fathers are AWOL...." Right after he said this the news reporters were talking about how he had talked "down" to and about black fathers. I went on YouTube and found the video and listened to as much of his talk as was available. No where did Obama say anything about "black" fathers, but fathers in general. Absent fathers. The media is immediately making it a "black" thing, a black issue. It was really sad how much of what the man actually said was ignored and completely changed to fit some other agenda.

Why is it that the media, the news broadcasting and news exchange agencies feel so free to play with another person's words? It just doesn't make sense. Isn't this America? What happened to truly reporting the news and not putting words in other people's mouths? This makes me feel very much like 1984 had it right.

Monday of Week 2

It is nearly impossible to actually believe the second week of my break has begun. Next Monday, by this time, I will already have been at school for several hours. I am praying there will be day classes I can take next quarter. However, if night classes are offered I will take them if that is the only way for me to go on and successfully complete this degree.

Having this break has been so very beneficial. Hubby hasn't completely understood its importance, no one has except those of us who are enjoying it. The world moves differently for each person, and tiredness (OK - exhaustion) hits people differently, and one of the worst types of exhaustion is mental; a tie is with emotional. This past quarter had me ready to blow bubbles from the drool that was threatening to roll down my chin! Why? There was a lot of upheaval and kindness and friendship shown, as well as a keen feeling of desperation when the new wheelchair returned from its first break-down (and hopefully its last).

In order to give myself the greatest benefit of the break I have done nothing hard. I have slept, ate, knitted, watched TV, and read wonderful non-law related material. Since I have done this I must admit the thought of returning to studying said material is really beginning to be exciting again.

All of this activity has begun to show in my body though, according to my rheumatologist. There is an operation I need to plan for on my right hand - a bone in my thumb has slid down and needs repaired. According to my rheumatologist it is a big surgery and will have me practically inactive for six to eight weeks. Right now I can't take off that much time from school and life in general. My blood pressure is up - it was 200/100 at the visit - and I have been commanded to get me to a General Praction doctor ASAP. (I will make those necessary calls tomorrow.) And my pain level has increased, but that isn't any surprise there for anyone involved, including me.

Does any of this mean I am going to slow down? Are you kidding?! I just have to make sure and take better care of myself, get more physical rest, rest my hands as much as is possible (without me going insane) and just being smart about all of the activities I am doing. Hubby has suggested really increasing my study of qi gong for my hands. If I can increase the energy in my hands then, perhaps, the surgery might not be so immediately necessary, and even if it is necessary, the recovery time could increase.

Life. Isn't it remarkable how it always increases the stakes as you experience it to its fullest?

The Day in Which we Continue to Relax

The day is advancing. It is hot outside and the sky has a wonderful summer blue. The dogs are all lying about enjoying the air conditioning just like their mommy. It is hard for me to believe the first week of my two week vacation is nearly over. This makes me sad in a way, and also encourages me to merely use each day to regroup, regain energy, and not do anything at all unless it is absolutely necessary.

Yesterday was a packed day of sweeping and mopping all of the floors and visiting with a friend who came over. It was wonderful to have company again. It added to the feeling of "break" and "relaxation" like nothing else could. This weekend we are having more company as Cheyenne is coming in, but we probably won't see him overly much because he will spend most of his time with Sniffles, but I do believe there is a slotted time for Barns & Noble and a movie once Hubby gets his hair done. So, there is more relaxing planned for this weekend.

Sniffles will be back shortly! She went to France with her father and siblings. I have missed her. There isn't a close girlfriend I have to chat with and pass the time, when neither of us is working, of course.

Recently I told someone Sniffles was my best girlfriend and she said, "I didn't know you were bi!" This remark floored me! Can't a straight woman have another woman as a friend, you know, girlfriend, without her being automatically assumed to be bisexual? The comment didn't offend me, of course, it just floored me, startled me into explaining the archaic concept of having a female friend you were not sleeping with, and had no desire to sleep with, was indeed a close friend. The woman looked at me and stammered something about most of her friends being proclaimed bisexuals and that she had assumed it was almost the norm, which prompted me to ask her if she was bisexual. She wasn't and almost seemed offended I had asked the question; however, my point had been made. She didn't apologize and I didn't ask for one because there really wasn't a reason for one in my book.

Brain Fluffing

The quarter is finally over.

Friday was the mock trial. The Defense Team, my team, won!

Despite the mock trial being fun and all, I was extremely nervous about it all. I was afraid when it came my time to question my witness I would freeze, or when it came time for me to be the witness I would likewise freeze, or lose my cool. Neither happened.

When hubby and I went through the double oak doors of Courtroom “A” everything inside me just settled. It was wonderful to be there. It felt right and a place I could get used to and work in. If it is possible to have signs or feel things to be in their proper place, then me being in a courtroom feels right and is what I should be doing, I believe, genuinely.

The Prosecution Team was very good, but they did get a little over-zealous, especially the leader, FM. He thought he had the case won and became arrogant and over-relaxed. He made faces that, in a real court setting, would probably have gotten him a contempt of court charge. The prosecution team became very angry when it was actually down to it and they knew they had probably lost the case. Even though we invited them all to come and have drinks with us, they refused. Hubby said they were probably at another bar having their own drinks and pouting. I couldn’t help but wonder if this is what actually happened after trials and court room encounters? Did the winners go one place to celebrate and the losers go somewhere else?

My husband is a wonderful man, but on the way to Cheapside, the bar we had chosen to have our drinks at, he enjoyed telling me of all of the mistakes we, the defense team, had made concerning the case. At first I found myself being very quiet and almost hurt. I thought, “Is he ever going to be happy and accepting of anything I do?” Then another thought came to me, “He didn’t know the plan the defense team had worked on so hard. He was blind to the time-line defense we had because I didn’t tell him anything about the case.” So, this means he was a clueless juror who didn’t understand, at the beginning of the trial, what the defense team had set up. It was remarkable, but this thought actually calmed me down and let me enjoy the drinks and the time we had at Cheapside.

About the only thing I can say was not absolutely perfect Friday night was the drinks we had at Cheapside Bar & Grill. I ordered a piῆa colada and it was so watered down there didn’t even seem to be a drop of alcohol there! Hubby then suggested I order a zombie and it had the slightest of liquor taste, but nothing major. No wonder people spend a fortune to get a celebratory buzz; after that we just left and did a hurried walk about downtown, Hubby wasn’t in the mood to be romantic or walk around that much, so we did the “quick” walk and headed home where we went straight to bed.

Luckily for me I had proclaimed earlier that this was my weekend and I wasn’t going to do anything I didn’t want to do, so no tai chi for me on Saturday and I didn’t make it to Church today. Even though I have proclaimed I was going to get my house in order during these two weeks (and I am going to do exactly that), I am not going to force myself to do it. It is going to be leisurely and I am going to read and write and knit and be at peace with myself and inside me without over-much stress – this is the plan at least.

Looking forward to the up-coming quarter – there is going to be a lot to do and it is really going to push me even harder than this last quarter; still, it is going to be a little easier because now I am mobile on my own and can arrange getting to school early enough to get needed homework done and I can work on the days I am off on the house and keeping everything in better order than it was this past quarter. It might not seem important, but in order to keep the house going as well as my grades, the house needs to be as organized as possible. An organized house just makes it easier for all of us here at the house and helps to keep me from going a little further insane.

Very few people in my inner circle truly understood just how stressful this quarter has been for me. Hubby knew a little more, but even he didn’t understand how close I was coming to just saying “I quit” and not doing anything else as far as school was concerned. One of the only things that kept me going was the thought of going on to law school and getting my law degree. Even last night when we met with some friends one of them was dissuading me from going on to get said law degree. “It is too expensive,” she said, “and you should really think about spending that much money. The expense is why I haven’t gone back to school.” Even though I love my friend dearly, I was surprised at her words, and kept wondering why she was using that excuse? If you want to do something special with your life you have to actually put the time and money into it in order to succeed. Is there nothing she wants to do to risk so much on to gain something even greater? I am thinking there probably isn’t, and this is sad. At the same time, she is happy with her life and herself, which she also told me last night, so maybe she doesn’t need to go on to school to add any new dimensions to her life. I don’t think I will ever be that satisfied with who I am and what I have accomplished. There are just some things I would like to accomplish before I die. I want my life to count for something, even if it is only to me.

This is one reason why I am seriously considering writing an autobiography, or an autobiographical type piece. It is time, I think, to try and share with the world my life story, in part at least. Maybe then others can look at my life and see they can go on, too, and, if I have learned anything in living this life of mine, I can also share that wisdom with others. Hopefully I am not being arrogant.

The Cute

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Family

Today has been one of those days which reminds me just where I came from, my hopes for the future, and how precious family truly is, or should be, to all of us.

See, my Aunt Rose is in the hospital in Tennessee. She had emergency surgery Sunday morning and, for a while, has been on a ventilator. All of this was news to me when my cousin called and informed me this morning. My heart hitched into my throat and tears spilled silently down my cheeks as I listened.

Not one to be inactive, immediately I called my oldest sister who lives near Knoxville and informed her. Aunt Rose is in her eighties now. She was the wife of our Uncle Ova. He passed away several years ago, but she remained, and will always remain to be our Aunt Rose, my Aunt Rose.

When I was small and in such a bad way, having a "normal" life was far different from everyone else I knew. Normal for me was being in hospitals and being in pain, and of thirsting after wanting to be as much like everyone else as possible. I wasn't exactly sure what being normal meant, but I knew it when it happened because it was so very different from how the doctors, nurses, student doctors and student nurses treated me.

I was a little girl, but more than anything else I was an unusual case with a number and symptoms they needed to memorize or study. They didn't really see an intelligent little girl with a quick wit and imagination; they saw fevers, swollen joints, pain thresholds, and debated and questioned among themselves the approximate age I would be when I died.

Through all of this, my Mom and Dad made my life as good and "normal" as they possibly could. It was hard on them, of course, especially my Mom. She gave up so much to help me, and my Dad seemed to never once doubt I was going to live and be a good person, and disappointing him was the most horrendous thing I could possibly think of doing (even now).

Outside of my Mom and Dad there were my sisters and bubby who always made me smile and treated me so much like a normal little girl despite the fact they helped spoil me rotten and convince me I could do anything I wanted to do in my life. If they ever doubted I was going to live I was never made aware of it, not even a hint of anything like it. They spoke of the future and encouraged me to read, write and be the person I was and wanted to be. Since they were all married by the time I grew old enough to know them, their husbands are very much like my very own brothers because I can't remember Sister1 being without Big R; or Sister2 being without Nokie. And my Sissy, well, I can remember her before she got married to her Jack, who passed away. I will never be able to forget how heart broken I was after she got married and my Mom and I went home, but Sissy didn't come with us. It was an impossibility to me that Sissy would live somewhere else and I wouldn't get to see her every day and hear her sing and smile and see her dance and be so very full of life. And my Bubby, well, he had a lot of girlfriends throughout his life, but he was always our Bubby. He is married now to a wonderful woman and he still has that infectious laugh and smile that let's me understand now just how he could get any woman he wanted. I am so proud of him now for being married and being a good Christian man.

The other sphere of my family consisted of aunts and uncles. On my Mom's side Uncle Bud was the go-to man for little Christmas trees just for me, and chocolate bars and an entire nickle for a tooth that came out. He was my Mom's oldest brother. He died when I was in Cardinal Hill Hospital here in Lexington for rehabilitation. I was sixteen when he died and wasn't able to go home and say my good-byes because of the horrible snowstorm that was going on in February. I begged anyone I could think of to come and get me so I could be there. I couldn't understand why the roads could possibly be so very bad. I miss him to this day.

Also on my Mom's side was Aunt Ed and Uncle Rob and Aunt Vern and Uncle Befel- they were twin sisters. And Aunt D who was the youngest sister. There is Little Uncle Riley - I never have gotten to know him in all of these long years.

Across the road was Aunt Fay and Uncle Riley and their family, of which you had heard so much about I probably don't need to say anything else about them.

On my Dad's side there was Uncle Ova and Aunt Rose, Uncle Red and Aunt Marie, Aunt Mty and Uncle M.D.; Aunt Ofie. Uncle P I love, but he wasn't around as much as the others. There was also Aunt Mary and Aunt Polly. Daddy's youngest sister, Cartie, is someone I never got to know, but always had the impression I was supposed to impress her. Why? Because Daddy loved her so dearly and he loved me so dearly; he wanted each of us to be impressed with the other. Sadly, I don't know her well enough to be impressed by her or not.

All of them are gone now except for Aunt Rose, Aunt Mty, and Uncle P and Little Uncle Riley.

Aunt Rose and Uncle Ova, Uncle Red and Aunt Marie, and Aunt Mty and Uncle M.D.; Aunt Mary and Uncle Sam, have always been the special ones even though I love all of my aunts and uncles. One reason was because I saw them more and talked with them one-on-one more than the others. There was a few years there where Uncle Red and I exchanged books we'd read on almost a bi-weekly basis, if not weekly. Uncle Ova and Aunt Rose lived just up the road from us and I saw them quite often, as well as their two girls, Carolyn and Fran who were two of my best friends growing up.

Uncles Ova and Red always knew what to say to make everything better. Aunts Rose, Mty, and Marie always made me feel "normal", just a little girl, or a young woman, or their niece in general. Aunt Rose didn't mind telling me "no" or to wash my hands. Aunt Mty always had a story and Aunt Marie, well, just was just always herself no matter where she was, and always ready to give me food or a drink or let me sit at the kitchen table with her and my Mom while they talked about everything under the sun.

Some of my fondest memories are of when all of the Asher clan would get together, or as many as could possibly be there, and the laughter that was always present. The men would usually be outside in the yard smoking their cigarettes or chewing their chaw while the women would start off in the kitchen smoking their cigarettes over coffee or Pepsi or iced tea and then would come a time when everyone collected together, usually on the front porch or in the living room of whatever house we were at. There was also kids running here and there screaming and laughing, sometimes crying over a spilled pop or a skinned knee (but this was rare). It was a mass of sounds, of food, of tastes, of cigarette smoke, of life being lived as well as time being taken out from all that living to slow and visit, catch up with whatever was going on with each other. It seems their generation truly knew how to live and be at peace, if not with what was going on with the rest of the world and community, at least with each other.

Aunt Rose is in her eighties now, but she is just as precious to me as she was when I was growing up. It is a sad fact that I can't get home, nor have the pull to go back to Stinnett like I once did when my Mom and Dad were living, but this doesn't mean, for once minute that the people there are not loved and honored and missed.

The news now is that Aunt Rose is off the ventilator and talking. This makes me smile. I have never known, in all my years, of Aunt Rose ever being quiet for very long. Even though she is expected to be in ICU for a while yet, and in the hospital in general, there is more of a positive feeling about her recovery because she is talking.

How precious are our memories. How precious are the people who help us make them.